What Bad Shit Have You Done - Daily, As it Comes To You, Your Past, Lets Be Honest

[jenaew]

Under the influence of marijuana while at work, and also drove home from work intoxicated....and also smoked while driving. Thankfully I don't do that anymore.

Also I have pretty serious back problems, I've yet to get any "real" help for, just a bunch of prescriptions that don't work and misdiagnoses. I once abused the prescriptions. At first it was by accident, couldn't remember how many I had had...then it was on purpose.

I used to drink quite a bit a few years ago. Any chance I could.

I no longer do any of that thankfully :)

I still have issues with getting mad. Punching stuff at work, and other places. I remember when my stepmom forced me to move out (my sisters and I exposed her online affair to our father, needless to say she was pissed) I heard her talking about me in the next room and put holes through the wall I was so mad. Then the day I moved out I broke abunch of her lawn ornaments and this lamp she made-(beat it to pieces with a mop) and then took my anger out on this tree she had grown...snapped it in half.

I'm so ashamed of that last part. I know she is a crappy person, but it makes me sad what I did... :(

 

[popeye]

Boy. I came across this thread tonight and read a few pages. I guess I could share a few things.

I have lied about something to every single person I have ever met or talked to.
At 16 I was a drug runner. Never actually dealing just transporting for a guy.
I stole 2 pair of jeans from a store while I was in high school.
I stole from my neighbor.
I put a bunch of baby rats in a coffee can of gasoline and lit it on fire.
I attempted suicide when I was 19.
I made out with one of my wife's friends soon after we got married.

There are many other recent things but I don't feel like sharing those right now.

 

[rjtransient]

Bad shit I've done that clashes with my ethics:

When I was younger, I had a thing against so-called hunters who showed no respect whatsoever for the predators they shot. I didn't like the cavalier attitude. I remember one guy writing that "sticking coyotes with arrows is loads of fun". He used a predator call, and he described the animal as stumbling around in pain instead of dying. I hung out at the AOL forums and the Ted Nugent forum to mess with them. I was maybe 15. I usually won the arguments. This is the one I actually don't feel guilty for.

I've kept in contact with people who I suspected to be sociopathic (glib charm, complete lack of empathy, antisocial behavior, obsession with power, attraction to violence) in order to play amateur forensic psychologist and figure out what goes through their heads. It would be kinder and safer to both of us if I simply gave them a wide berth.

Lately, I've been baiting men online who show cavalier attitudes toward women. Sleazy, self-entitled pickup artist types who expect NSA sex. I can't believe the things they get away with posting on a public forum by virtue of gender. I pretend to be the naive person they're looking for, completely taken in by their charm, and then I drop them. Bait and switch. I don't like deception, and this probably at least lowers me to their level. Waste of time. I'm an adult too. I have the choice of not responding when they contact me.

Fight-or-flight sometimes goes straight into fight. 2010 resolution: Find a better way of dealing with my anger toward these people.

My stalker has gotten away with much worse, which is one big reason why I don't like deception.

Other stuff:

In high school, I took up drinking to cope with severe anxiety and insomnia. I think I've developed a conditioned taste aversion to alcohol since then -- the taste of liquor makes me sick.

I got involved with barbiturates for the same reason, with the intention of eventually overdosing.

When my abusive father used my mother's money to buy himself a new widescreen TV, I took the remotes and dropped them into the sewer.

 

[EmptyEyes]

I have punched friends in the face or thrown them as hard as I could to the ground when they have just touched my shoulder.

I had a time when I was dating a girl that was always busy to points I would see her only once in a week two tops. I had a female friend that I went to class with whose boyfriend dumped her. We would talk during class and after about our lives. She asked me one day if I was single and I told her I don't know since I hadn't talked to my gf for close to five days and she kissed me. I didn't fight it. For three weeks I cheated till I felt so horrible that I broke it off and told my gf who shortly thereafter dumped me.

Beat a kid real bad when I found out he had raped a friend of mine.

I drink myself most nights to sleep as I consider myself a horrible person for cheating.

 

[EmptyEyes]

I work landscaping during the summer, every summer, in a small town about an hour from where I live. Last summer when we all got paid I knew a guy that he asked if I would grab his check on his off day and bring it to him so he could cash it since he didn't want to drive an hour to only cash his check when I could do it as a favor to him.
This week when the check came our boss gave us a cash bonus since the job got done quicker than he had expected it to. Another guy and myself were driving back from work and he asked if I had my friends bonus. Pretty much we stole a good portion of his cash bonus and didn't tell him how much we got for a bonus ourselves just to have some money for booze.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

well...

- I was offered and still want my rapist to be beaten within an inch of his life. I've always told myself, I should let the law deal with him. That I am better then that. But i still really want that.

- Started drinking w/ friends. at 19 that wasn't to bad, but I started hiding it. Drinking before work, drinking to sleep. drinking and driving.

- I really want a drink now! I could just cry...I want it all out...I want to NOT feel for @*!$ sake already!

- I played men. I lied, cheated and loved it. I loved being in control of the relationship. I loved being able to have sex when I wanted.

I slept with a man for money once.

damn... makes me feel sick just thinking about it

 

[anni]

This thread has been around for awhile and I always look at it and then think um, no... but bad stuff I've done, ok, finally.

You know that 'thing' where one either identifies too much with an abuser/controller or becomes completely immersed in revenge scenarios? I was plan B. He managed to become deceased all by himself years later, and commited suicide because he was a doctor and didn't wish to have a lingering end from the ALS he'd been diagnosed with. Even a conscienceless bully like him might have been worried had he known the elaborate plans I'd woven in my head for revenge because boy were they real, and worried me. I'd been pushed so far. The courts had failed me, there was a baby involved,every noise in the night was HIM coming to get me and I think you can only be so terrified for so long before becoming seriously warped because these revenge plans were absolutely real. At the time it was like being 2 different people, too, because the 'sane' me watched all this hoping like heck none of it would happen. What really scared me was also figuring out I was probably bright enough to carry out some sort of revenge plot.

He ended up running from the IRS, although he kept stalking until he was too sick to continue. I've just always really, really worried about how on earth I could seriously consider taking actual revenge on someone. Every time I see this thread pop up I think about it, because it's not normal, 'bad' and just plain wierd. In the first post Anthony said let's get real, so there it is.

 

[Jade-]

I started taking valium when I was 11 yrs. old and continued taking it until I was out of high school.I would take so many that I would pass out.I stole the valium,it wasn't prescribed for me.
I tried to kill myself when I was 15.(obviously it didn't work)
I was a drug dealer in high school,I sold speed.I came up $100 short once(from using instead of selling) and stole the key to the tampon/pad machine in the girls restroom at school and stole the dimes everyday until I had enough to pay the money back.
I went to an acid party in 11th grade and we all tried out something fresh out of the lab.I had a bad trip and choked my best friend in the bushes and almost killed her.

 

[Jade-]

I kicked a cat in the face once and made it bleed and felt guilty afterwards.

Last summer I punched my husband and gave him a bloody nose.He cried over it,not because it hurt physically,but because I actually hit him.

Once when my husband was drunk and passed out,I took a belt and beat him with it and I kicked him in the ribs and legs and once in the face.

 

[Jade-]

I got high 4 days in a row this past week and I feel guilty for it. I need to find better ways to cope with my anxiety.

 

[Jade-]

When I was alot younger I liked breaking couples up. I would go after a guy that I knew had a girlfriend,let him think I wanted to be with him and once he got with me and broke up with the other girl,I would dump him. I thought it was funny and it made me feel good about myself to see how many guys would dump a girl for a chance with me. I made alot of enemies and almost got my ass kicked quite a few times.

 

[jenaew]

I am sad to say the "I no longer do any of this stuff" doesn't apply anymore.

I pick up a friend with weed every time something bad happens.

A lot less lately.

I still feel like a shitty person for succumbing to drug use because my life "sucks".