General What Can I Do To Help My Boyfriend With Withdrawals

[Vickym]

Hi Everyone,

It has been a while since I have been on here. My boyfriend is on several different meds. He has tried several times to cut back on them but the withdrawals are so bad it never last. We went to see the neuro doctor a couple of weeks ago do to his daily headaches. The doctor says if he doesn't cut back on some pain meds the headaches will not get better. This did not go over well because for him that means dealing with the back and shoulder pain from his injuries. We went to Flordia last month, it was a trip for wounded soldiers and thier families. When we came back I told him we needed to go to appt. together and work as a team to get him help other than a new med. as the answer. With having PTSD and TBI he often forgets what it said in his appt. Anyway I went to the pain clinic with him and we are going to have a team meeting this month. I want to be able to bring options to table more than what I have. Whenever he cuts back the withdrawal are so bad. He becomes very moody, has increased anger and is just down right mean. Lots of times he doesnt even realize it. Sometimes its even the tone of his voice. For him he cant sleep, has chills, shakes and feels like his skin is crawling. There must be something that can help with this. Something I can even do to help him stay strong through it. There has to be something to help with pain other than medications. He has never had anyone care about him or support him I am the first so it is very hard for him to accept it. Sometimes its like he is in shock and doesn't know how to react. I know this is going to be battle but I am here for him.

 

[FlameTachiku]

Some pain clinics are very good by provideing an intense team appoach to supporting those who have chronic pain with complex medical challenges. It would be helpful to have a one page history written down in a
1
2
3
format, about what has been tried for example:
1. Vicodin positive-decrease pain negative-rash, constipation

They also would benefit from a 1 paragraph summary of his strengths and weaknesses. What does he do well to work through his pain? For example, stay on a schedule, muscle relaxation ex.? What are his weaknesses? He watches TV at night and naps during the day?

A pain clinic at times will look at a report like this and enroll a patient into an intense program with OT, PT, Dr, med specialist, MH specialist and more. This may look like an outpatient 5 times a week day program. Programs like this are very good.

I wish you and yours well.

Flame

 

[patrick]

I second Flame's pain clinic idea. I've seen them do wonders for pain management with a holistic approach. Treat the whole person, not just the pain. I wonder if your boyfriend is on enough medication that he might need some sort of detox assistance, or at least medical drug evaluation and help with sorting it all out. It is a very hard road to travel, and I wish you both well. He is lucky to have you to support him in his journey.

 

[pandora]

He is lucky to have you...I have to withdrawal in the next couple of months from strong pain killers. Can he be weaned..I know that is the plan for me...or there is also methadone..if available there....there are a few other meds for withdrawal, I just do not know them off of the top of my head. Take care and I wish you both the best. Awesome job supporting your loved one!

 

[Vickym]

FlameTachiku, patrick and pandora,

Thank you for your responses. He is on a few pain meds and probably will need some sort of detox. The plan is to start cutting back. The only problem is he has tried this several times on his own and been unsuccessfull. He has even tried during the different seasons with winter being depressing at times. I am hopefull with my help and the support of the doctors (everyone on the page) he will have success. The big problem is everytime a doctor gave him a new script he took it in hope that it would help with his pain. He doesnt abuse his meds but he has been on them so long at these doses that when he starts to cut back the withdrawals are awfull and he gives up. I know they did talk about methadone at one point because he came home asking me my opinion. Pandora I wish you success when you do this! This for us is going to be something we tackle in stages. By this I mean taking steps backwards with each of these meds one at a time. The hardest part is that his family is no support in any way shape or form. The forum is the only place I can come and talk to others that understand without the negative responses. His family says he uses the war as an excuse to take the meds. UGH!!!! They have no clue about ptsd or tbi. Every negative remark from them is two steps back.

 

[Vickym]

Has anyone heard of or tried Buprenorphine (Suboxone and Subutex)? Subutex is the one used when you have been on opiates such as morphine and oxycodone. After looking into to this I found that there is a doctor at our Va center that offers this treatment to help with the withdrawals. I'm not sure if this is the answer but it just may be an option for my boyfriend.

 

[patrick]

I haven't heard of either of those meds, and I'm definitely not an expert in this field. I do know that opiates are a bear to get off of. Seems like a doc at a VA center could be a good resource, at least they would have some experience. Lot of vets out there with this problem. I've just recently gotten involved with the VA, and so far it's been good. One thing I learned recently is that if I don't like what one doc tells me, I can get another opinion right in the VA hospital I go to. I hope you and your boyfriend can get some useful help with this.

 

[Lucy Loo]

Vicky,

I have heard of those medications. I think (pretty sure about this, but not 100%) they are only for when you completely stop taking opiates, not for when you just want to decrease your opiate usage or taper off the opiate usage. They are opiate antagonists, which means that they block the effects of opiates. So if you were to take them while still taking the opiates, they would "rip" the opiates off of the opiate receptors in your brain and cause you to go into acute withdrawals.

There is a drug used to help with opiate withdrawals, clonidine. It's intended use is as a blood pressure medication, but I've read that a lot of doctors prescribe it to relieve some of the effects of withdrawals.

This is such a complicated issue; he really needs help from a physician. Flametachiku's idea of a pain clinic is a very good idea if you can find a good one where they will address all the facets of his problems - the pain, the medication dependence, etc.

Good luck!

 

[Vickym]

Well for now he is staying on his meds. The Va never set up the team meeting they said things like that are to do. This really confused me because when it was suggested it didn't seem to be a problem. Anyway he tried to decrease his meds on his own without telling me and as you can imagine it was ugly. He was mean and angry and I had know idea why it took him 2 days to tell me that was why. I have tried to explain to him that his withdrawals affect all of us and he needs to tell me. For some reason he still has a hard time accepting that I am here for him. He just isn't used to having anyone but its been 1 1/2 years. I just wish he would work with me and let me in again. We were once very close I think he got scared having his guard down and backed away.

 

[patrick]

So sorry to hear that the effort with the VA didn't work out. Seems like a shame that getting help from the VA so often has to feel like a fight, but I would encourage you, if you have the strength, to continue to try to get some help there, unless you have some other insurance you can use for better quality care. The problem you describe with the medications sounds really tough.

I never cease to be amazed at what so many people like you are willing to deal with while they live with people with PTSD. Your boyfriend is really lucky to have you. I hope he knows that.

Pat

 

[Vickym]

Patrick,

Thanks it means a lot! There are so many days I feel he forgets how hard people like me are to come by. I love my boyfriend when things are on the up they great but when they are down they are down. It really takes a strong person to be with someone with ptsd. Not only do I deal with ptsd I deal with his not so nice sister and mom. They are no support to either of us and cause nothing but drama which I can't stand its just not healthy. Anyway its really nice to have someone say such a nice comment it really brightened my day!

 

[Lucy Loo]

If he has the wherewithal to decrease on his own, he really needs to do it very very slowly so as to minimize his side effects (the moodiness and all). I mean, I'm talking a small jump down in dosage every two weeks or something, not cutting it down in half one day.

Sorry your efforts with the VA didn't work out. We've had really mixed results with the VAs....sometimes you get someone there who will go all in and help, othertimes not so much.

One time my husband was really bad off, he was disconnecting from reality. It finally got so bad he asked me to take him to the VA ER. Well, the doctor there didn't want to even admit him for some reason ~ he didn't seem to think it was serious enough? I finally said, "look doc, there is NO WAY he is coming home with me the way he is right now, so you had better find him a bed here or something." Turned into a two month hospital stay after that because my husband was so bad off.

On the flip side, like I said, some of the people there are good and really try to help you....so don't give up on the VA yet!

And I hear you on not feeling appreciated by your boyfriend. My husband never says, "I know this must be hard for you" or "sorry about all this" or anything like that. I don't think he gets just how hard it is for me to pick up the pieces everytime everything falls apart.