What Cant You Get Out Of Your Mind?

[AngelaMarie]

I can't get out of mind the fact that my bio-mom didn't like me from birth. I can't get over the fact that my bio-grandma raised me to get money every month. If my own family disliked me who will ever really care?:tdown:

 

[LaurenRose]

There are so very many things. In this moment, I can't get out of my mind how many things are in my mind, roiling, boiling, churning. Tumultuous. It makes me dizzy and causes my space in this world to wobble. I know my mind kind of drives my emotions, or is it my emotions driving my mind - hang on it is the first one. There is a part of me that is continuously aware of how many things are going on in there. The part of me that is separate that is able to "step" out is my way of coping with the turmoil of my mind. It is the part that observes the milieu of thoughts warring with each other, each one trying to take prominence over the other. Then there is the strategic manager attempting to keep some semblance of order by trying to keep my thoughts together. It's like herding cats. Fear and supposition of past traumas repeating. Almost fatal vehicle accidents and attack dogs and sexual predators and robbers and those who will steal my mind through brainwashing. Recovery mind says that I am safe, experience says that this is not necessarily so. Thoughts fractured and fragmented, joining with other thoughts to make new thoughts, emotions running rampant. I wish they would calm so that I can take one thought at a time and work it through. It's exhausting.

 

[Lionheart]

What cant you get out of your mind?

One of my perps abused me in a room with pictures of pornography, death, disease, addiction, murder etc. (he was a satanist) and I can't get the visuals from that time out of my mind, they come back unbidden and suddenly from out of nowhere and make me feel sick to my stomach. :( Sometimes it shows up as nightmares, but I get flashes of visions in my head during the day at other times.

 

[AngelaMarie]

Right now, I can't get out of mind that this physical pain will be for my lifetime.:cry:

 

[NIKI]

I can't get the sound of my father's voice screaming my mother's name in the middle of the night which meant it was the start of a long night of listening to them screaming at each other and hearing them physically beating each other.

I can't get the sound of beer cans popping open out of my head.

 

[AngelaMarie]

NIKI, (((Hug))). Those memories are horrible!

 

[KP the nut]

We fly down the road less than six feet away from oncoming traffic. There is a line we count on to show us where the safety stops and the death starts, but that line means nothing to a drunk or distracted driver. Thats what I think about.

YES, YES, YES.

OMG. That is it. After my accident i was told by a police officer, that "there was noting you could have done or done differently that would have avoided the crash". Distracted, speeding lorry driver, how many more????

My constant thought I am never safe.

 

[KP the nut]

6yrs old looking in my mother's eyes .

(((Rain)))

 

[livergirl70]

The smug look on my ex-husbands face every time I forgave him

 

[intothelight]

The footsteps, the smell, the vacant, cold, dead stare of a demon.

 

[scott_1971_h]

The footsteps, the smell, the vacant, cold, dead stare of a demon.

Oh yes I've never got over Yeti's eyes. STILL makes me shudder

 

[Srain]

I can't get out of mind the fact that my bio-mom didn't like me from birth. I can't get over the fact that my bio-grandma raised me to get money every month. If my own family disliked me who will ever really care?:tdown:

((((((((((((((((AngelaMarie))))))))))))))))
I'm too aware of that feeling.

Sending peace and healing,
Rain