I'm noticing that this morning I'm having a serious "mother" issue, as I seem to be harshly posting on those type of posts. Hmmm, seems this is what is unshakeable. My DIL called me yesterday wanting some advice that I was actually able to give her but what was truly touching for me is that Son had suggested she call. My DIL is seriously capable of handling so much and I admire her very much. Basically she is the mother I would have dearly wanted and wanted to be, so this call was entirely moving for me. I realized how she had always been the mother growing up and I was furious with her mother!! Her mother is giving her shit now (some things to do with her brother) and still couldn't be a mother just like my mother, what is it with mothers!! Grrrrrr :mad:
Backing up, I was grateful to be able to be there for her and remind her what a great sister, daughter, wife, mother,and woman she is. How much I love her and knew she had the answers all along but appreciated the call all the same. I knew my mother would have been there for me in that type of situation or might have hung up on me or something in between because she is all about herself and what she wants to deal with. If she doesn't know what to say or doesn't like the topic she just hangs up while I'm talking! This after saying I'll always be there for you. I could never imagine doing this or why. It's so beyond me it's just not fathomable. What kind of a person acts like that??? The closest I have to a daughter is my DIL who is smart and beautiful and I could never imagine being jealous of the attention she gets because of it, that's just sickening to me!!
However, my mother has said things like that to me when we have been together. "I use to be the 'it girl' and I would kick my shoes off and put my feet up on the table, eating salmon that I just baked with my fingers" then she would pose. I would just look at her not really understanding where she was going with that since I always felt so ugly and I used my personality and really enjoyed people that were quirky. This whole competition thing with me was bizarre and would come out of nowhere. One minute she would be telling me how great I looked and the next that I was a whore! Or looking at me disapprovingly if I got into a chat with a guy while standing in line. Like I was inappropriate, holy cow, she is one messed up person giving off mixed signals constantly. I am not her age and we are not in competition ever but she has always done this with me. Try to dress me up and then tear me apart.
Wow, I guess I have some crap in my head. :tdown:
