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What Costs You A Spoon?

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Chem Lady

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I see that many others have referenced the spoon theory, so I see that I am behind the times here, but I really liked it. If you haven't heard of it, I posted a link.

The Spoon Theory written by Christine Miserandino - But You Dont Look Sick? support for those with invisible illness or chronic illness

According to this blog, the theory was created to help a friend understand life with lupus, but it just as easily explains life with PTSD.
What are the things that cost you a spoon? Here are a few of mine:

- wearing uncomfortable clothes
- being cold
- having to spend time in a car conversing with people I don't know very well (that's multiple spoons!)
- hearing video game sounds
- my boss saying "drop by my office when you have a minute"
- thinking someone is mad at me
 
I've never heard of the spoon theory before... I love it!!!!!

-nightmares
-insomnia
-anything that MUST be done before noon
-anything in groups of people
-everything that startles me (that's basically everything)
-a** holes who can't drive but think they can, and drive mach-chicken while drafting off my back bumper
 
  • Getting up as when I do I am in a lot of pain
  • Sleeping as I have many nightmares and I am terrified if the dark. Is that two spoons?
  • Eating as many times I can't or forget
  • Showering as many times I have major pain where I can barley undress.
  • Being undressed and dressing. It serves as a panic and many times I dress in my closet, even today
  • Driving as I have many panic attacks.
  • Working is a few spoons. I have to make sure my tone stays even and calm though people are screaming at me.
  • My days off it is extremely hard to do anything but sleep so each I do on a day off is a spoon
  • I often have severe panic attacks and fears through out the day. They are a spoon each.
  • I often have flashbacks that throw me into a physical place such as curled up in a corner.
  • I have a roller coaster of emotions. A spoon for each high intensity
There are more. Those just a few I could think of. Not only do I have PTSD and BPD and struggle with both but I also have chronic pain from falling 3 stories so it is hard to move around and like I said, even dressing and undressing is hard. Anything more is much harder.

My dad wouldn't get the spoon theory. I think my step mom would get the pain part as she also has pain but not the mental part. Just last night I was watching an episode of Dr Phil with a very mentally ill Sherry Duvall. She said "what happen? She was beautiful!" And I said, "when you are mentally ill you often don't care of yourself" but she wasn't quite understanding it so I think it's still hard for people that don't struggle with it to understand. Even when it's right in their face.

It's a good theory but I just think it's easier to understand Lupus or medically ill and much harder to understand mentally ill and physical inabilities.
 
1) Clothes that fit "wrong". I hate clothes that are too big or too tight. Sometimes if my clothes shrink or I'm bloated, I'll change an outfit 10+ times. Even if I end up in something comfortable, I've lost a spoon or three because even having "wrong" fitting clothes on for a few minutes can really stress me out! My clothes always have to fit right, no matter what time of day it is.

2) Too much caffeine. It's a fine line. It's always too much tea or too much chocolate. I know it's completely within my control but I'm always pushing the envelope with my food issues. (Of which I have many, which is why I'm always trying to see what I can get away with. And then I'm kicking myself later.)

3) Being too active, going out too much, pushing myself too hard without scheduling rest time. Play a little now, pay in spades later.

4) loud noises, being startled, angry voices

5) being too hot or too cold

6) certain kinds of music. Horror movie type music=bad, some beats stress me out

7) bad sleep (for whatever reason), nightmares

8) having to do anything on someone else's schedule (anxiety ----> insomnia----> all my spoons are wiped out)

9) Flashbacks
 
i have a chronic physical issue that's an invisible disability and PTSD, so it's like each takes on a life of their own and fights over what spoons are available. sometimes all i end up with are sporks.

any stress, good or bad, will cause me to lose spoons: dealing with medical issues is the biggest one right now...and with the upcoming holidays, family will be added to that mix (in an extra-concentrated form).

leaving my house, even to check the mail, loses spoons.
 
-insomnia
-if someone yells really loud or loud singular noises
- anything that I have to be up before noon to do
-being peppy or normal around other people
- if someone wants to debate about anything
- anything that involves empathy
-night terrors
- anything that may seem repetitive
- being around a lot of people (that's a lot of acting normal)
Mostly just the things like lack of sleep and things that involve having to pretend that I'm alright when I'm uncomfortable
 
Yes I was thinking, plus shopping, cleaning, commuting, dealing with superiors or challenging people, having to ask for anything, meetings, battling cold weather, family members or others' expecttions, self-doubt or indecision, definitely terror or shock(s). Anything that uses up physical or emotional energy.
 
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