What Do I Do Now

[BlueDream]

I need some help please!!

Current situation:
I'm sitting in a parking lot with no money and my gas light on.....

I'm sitting here because when my hubs got home today, he told me he called my dad this morning because of our problems (our problems are nothing new). He told my dad about this forum and that I outted myself with PTSD and a sexual assault survivor on FB. He told him a bunch of "I care about her but don't know what to do"bs. (He is really jealous that I'm trying to fix myself and don't pay attention to him as much as he wants)
Then he drops YOUR DAD SAID YOU CANT COME HOME if you leave me............say what?!?

I left the house and calmed down, then called my dad.
My dad was angry....he said I went to the Internet to tell the world, but didn't tell him about one of the rapes.
You are mad at me because I didn't tell you about 1 of 100 times, and you are yelling at me about it.
He & mom both think I need to be put on meds, instead of self-medicating with marijuana. (Condescending bitch, take your trazodone and shut the f*ck up!!) My mother told me she can't afford for me to be there. Dad didn't disagree.

Mom and dad are mortified that I put that information out on the Internet and I'm sure that's where the anger and yelling comes from. They think I need medication because while working through my issues for the last year and a half I've been a little difficult.

And I'm starting to think my husband thinks he can get custody of my son easier if I'm the one with the mental issues, in a the hospital. Then he cuts off all of my escape routes I have no place to go.

Idk what to do, I was thinking about going to the hospital, but I would have to lie about being suicidal. I also don't want my husband to be able to use it against when/if we divorce.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!

Stephany

 

[Deleted member 33052]

Blue, you need to get the f*ck away from your parents. They are toxic. Your husband is, too, but that's an entirely different kind of relationship.

What about a women's shelter? Your husband is abusive. You could take your son with you. There, you can plan your life.
Can your cousin help you out for a while?

 

[BlueDream]

I feel like they are all trying to drive me over the edge. I worked so hard to get off the meds, and they all think I should go back on them.

 

[Ronin]

Ditch the parents. Seriously. You are an adult, and you do not owe them jack, much less listening to their idea of what your life, or medical care, should be like.

You & yours need safety for yourself and your child first.

You don't need to lie about the suicidality. Don't mention it. Say you have an emergency as you're facing threats of eviction, forced hospitalizations, homelessness, and you have a child to take care of. Don't worry about disclosing, or having to - you'll find a way to not disclose that, you thought of it already - just make clear that it is imperative you be *physically* safe, as you are not.

 

[Intrepid]

I feel like they are all trying to drive me over the edge.

For some people, driving you over the edge is how they get their power.

 

[Ronin]

Also: They're pansies. The only real power they have is socially conscripted power of being 'the parents'.

Please remember that. You lived through all the things they pulled, already. Without losing your sanity, or all of it. You WILL get through more, if needed.

 

[Elevatorguy]

Get to some family other than the parents with your son

 

[hodge]

I vote for a women's shelter. You can be there with your son comfortably and get lots of support and help in deciding your next move.

 

[GrayOwl]

Be strong! You've come so far. It hurts when people can be so thoughtless and cruel.
I've been through so much of it the last four years. Last week I slept in my car at a Walmart parking lot and in a tent at a county park.
Money is running low, self esteem keeps getting hit - but dammit I've worked too hard to stay sane - and I DON'T GIVE A CRAP WHAT OTHER PEOPLE SAY!!
I am still working part time and can get meals and gas - I will get through - one day at a time - and you have a little guy to think about.
So do what YOU need to do - if that is a shelter or a friend or anywhere safe - DO IT!!!
But take care of yourself and your sanity and your little one - and it sounds like you have come soooo far. Don't let the parents or hubby manipulate you or try to use you.
If you can be FIRM, not a BITCH, it's usually better. Try to let people know firmly that you are not about to be abused or taken advantage of. Period! You've "worked hard" to overcome things and they don't have the right to mess with your mental state or emotions for their personal benefit. (And maybe you just need a little "space".)
If Mom and Dad can't afford you, maybe they can let you sleep in the garage or basement for a couple days - as long as they allow you to work on your health - AND THAT DOESN'T MEAN CONTROLLING WHAT YOU SAY OR YOUR INTERNET ACCESS. If at all possible - take a quiet time - a personal time out - find a church, a bible, a support group - relax, meditate - then go do what ya gotta do.
But don't be afraid to unleash BITCHMODE if it's necessary. Sometimes it's all that works. Last Resort - tho - remember that.
YOU ARE # !. Remember that.
I think you're doing great. Hang in there. You WILL get through this!
We're here for you.


.........take a deep breath........

 

[Deleted member 33052]

Now, @BlueDream, what do you want to do?

I forgot to mention, the best day of my life was the day I decided to break contact with my family.

 

[BlueDream]

Idk, im on my way back home, this all happened while my son was at bball practice. If I can stay there peacefully tonight, I guess we are going car camping. I have no money to put gas in my car or to get to a shelter, or friends until tomorrow.

I got ahold of my T, (thanks god)
he suggested I go to a friends for the weekend. He also said, hubs could use hospital stay against me in divorce.
He also said I'm not crazy, and the hospital staff would see through that within a day or two and release me with no insurance and it would all be a big waste of time, Plus they will try to shove pills down my throat and he does not want me back on medication.
I told him I would calm down and give him a call 1st thing next week.

 

[BlueDream]

I talked to my friend, (he is my self made family (my cuz) we share our last name)
He said, why aren't you here already?

So I'm going to get some stuff together and wait for my son to get out of school.
And we are going to head up there.

My plans are to stay for the weekend, but I'm also trying to get myself a job lined up, around that same area, so who knows, maybe this will be permanent.