What Do I Do With Doctor Visits.

[shimmerz]

Yes my angels provide a lot of help and happiness for me

This is beautiful.

 

[FindingMyself88]

I'm 26 and have only had GYN checks twice due to emergencies. One was a tumor on ovary and one was ruling out another tumor/female issue. You are not stupid. The last time was very triggering because it was literally 2 months after being raped and secretly I was terrified of being pregnant at first. The female doctor was also a jerk.

I don't have any real advice, just support! :hug:

 

[Deleted member 28862]

@FindingMyself88 all of the support is greatly appreciated ^_^

 

[sun seeker]

I totally get how hard this is @Esha242. I have a real phobia of doctors too and will only go to them when absolutely necessary. And I have never had a gynecological exam, so you're not the only one. Male or female would make no difference to me either. I'm just really careful to eat well and take care of my health, and keep hoping. Once I was considering a job that required a physical exam. It felt so humiliating but I did get through it, only then when he told me I'd have to have a gynecological exam to finish and if I wanted he could get a woman to do it, I said I'd come back another day but I never did. It was enough to make me decide I didn't want the job.

I don't know what the answer is, but I feel for you. It's a hard situation you're in there with no therapists available. I think we are sometimes too quick to tell people therapy is the answer and don't realize how hard it is for some people to access. I'm so glad you have your dogs.

 

[Chava]

Ugh. I've had a lot of medical trauma (birth, early childhood, and later adolescence). Especially the early stuff screwed up how I deal. I lose all power meeting with doctors. My therapist has helped me talk about appointments, I've written notes and questions to bring in...helps that I can advocate for myself. I did have to go to ob/gyn because I was ready to kill myself from endometriosis pain and fatigue. I asked to see a woman. I'm sure I could have asked for a Xanax or something. In the women's clinics they are very sensitive. You can tell them you are scared and they will understand and go slowly and explain what they are doing and why. Also, if you need a break, fine. You are never naked. You have a blanket or always some kind of cover. Also, when I had a biopsy done on my uterus (f*cking painful), an extra nurse stood by me so I could squeeze her hand..nearly crushed it.

Eventually I did just have to go hide in the bathroom and space out, watching dots on the floor tiles.

Every time I go to the doctor it gets a little easier. Bring your questions and notes. Tell them you are nervous. Ask questions. Ask why procedures are necessary. I do NOT have uterine cancer but I'm glad I felt safe enough through the process to do it.

Do you have a primary you trust? You don't need special ob/gyn if you trust your primary to do basic check. In any case, I usually e-mail my therapist after appointments...how well they went or how f*cked up I feel...just decompress. They are never as bad as they feel, but I get through them okay.

Hang in there. It's about finding ways to advocate for yourself, finding a doctor that seems gentle and sensitive and willing to listen, someone you can tell about your fears. And then just going. You won't be naked. Bring a teddy bear if it helps. And keep another one in the car for comfort after having made it through.

 

[theotherside]

Im so glad you started this post. Im so afraid of going to the dentist and dr have to take a valium before i go and dress very warm because i get real cold and shake. pretty soon i need surgery so i enjoy reading all the responses.

My biggest question is how do i relax my body? Im so tense i feel like cement. Like im gonna crack into pieces. It makes my body hurt so much. I have lots to work on.

The only advice i can give you is what o know...keep warm and my faith helps in those times..praying

 

[Freedomfighter]

Omg, your coworker is the one that is dumb. With the help of a therapist I am learning that every single female, and I mean every single female, coworker that I worked with me was a back stabber. Right down to the coworkers that we Germans call Heucheler, right up to my so called boss, right up to the security people that were supposed to stop a criminal.
What I am learning now is totally frightening. After learning how jealousy drove these female coworkers to further abuse me is leaving me emotionally spent. What I am learning is so totally unbelievable, yet I am beginning to understand that all of the female coworkers I dealt with sided with the very criminal that stalked and harassed me repeatedly at work. Even females who worked there that I did not even know I am learning about now would stoop so low as to give me false information, false advice and let their own jealousy motivate them to hurt the one that was victimized.
People that I don't even know who had important evidence in a criminal case, all females, who rather hid this evidence and watched the victim suffer continiously in order to not only protect a criminal but in order to also protect their own behinds.
Who in actuality committed crimes themselves, who after blaming a victim for atrocious acts, then turned out to be the ones who themselves committed such atrocious acts.
Anyone that believes what a coworker says is only delivering his or her head on a platter. The American workplaces are a farce, filled with people who not only commit crimes but who will readily attempt to blame anyone for their failures.
You need to do what is right for you. Empower yourself, learn as much as you can about your own health. I have fared better health wise after doing a lot of medical research online. You can do that too.
It is a good thing I do not know your coworker, if you know what I mean.

 

[Deleted member 28862]

@sun seeker I'm the exact same way, I took a lot of x-rays when I was 14-16 because I have scoliosis, when I went for rehabilitation around the age of 15, i was put in extremely uncomfortable positions which the chiropractor was way too close to my body to correct my spine....I absolutely hated that, and the trauma of it all, we spent two weeks in a country we didn't know much off, literally everything I did in rehabilitation was painful. I'm convinced that going caused me back pain, before I would never have any pain but NOW?? ha! I was suppose to go back the following year, but I didn't.

 

[Deleted member 28862]

@Chava, I actually don't trust anyone to be completely honest with you, but those are good advice. I would definitely try those.
@theotherside Well, the Bahamas is pretty hot :p so keeping warm wouldn't be hard to do. I work as a vet assistant and groomer and we use the same gloves as the dentist, everytime I put one on I'm reminded of the time I got a filling.....which was so stupid because I was still changing teeth!! I swear it's like it was my father's intention to f%#k me up

@Kroatien omg! I can't imagine working at that place, I think my patience would run thin ! But you're very strong for continuing to work there:hug: I don't really believe anything people says, I've become a very cynical person. :hilarious: I haven't told anyone around me what she said, I'm 100% sure they'd want to "have a word with her" as well :sneaky: But I've been searching a lot of things online, hopefully we'll all one day be able to go to the doctor's with no problem at all :)
:)

 

[The Albatross]

Overcoming barriers to getting and receiving doctor or dental care is imperative.

It took me a long time of avoidance to realize that routine doctor visits and endeavoring to learn how to cope and deal with the stress and anxiety of them was in my best interests. Avoidance comes with consequences. What it boiled down to me was whether or not I was prepared to accept them. I wasn't.

Irrespective of what the co-worker said, the nuts and bolts are that the incident called your attention to avoidance (granted not in the most tactful way) and you are now presented with a conscious choice about whether or how to address the aversion/triggers/stress & anxiety/fear. That is not really a bad thing (although the way it was communicated lacked a whole lot of tact or finesse).

Personally I was quite ill as a child and young woman. I had hospital/Doctor office triggers (the cleanser/disinfectant smell back then 60's through mid 70's, the shiny floors, any shots/IV's, blood, etc.)... I would pass out. I too have a significant number of allergies, was anemic several times and had malnutrition among other things. Ultimately I realized as I got older, that they simply had to be addressed and treated properly or my health would continue to deteriorate. I'm in my mid 50's now... but I do my dental and doctor visits. I have a list of chronic physical ailments, but am beating my prognosis on most all of them because I quit avoiding, and started working with my physicians and rather than avoid began to consider my physical health and condition was part of my own responsibility to myself. It is normalized now and is part of my self care/self nurturing though at times it can still be very difficult. It is something I do for myself because I decided managing my chronic illnesses and maximizing my health is a personal priority.

I had to learn how to desensitize the triggers, have uncomfortable conversations, and be willing to endure some mental/emotional discomfort short term for a longer term goal.