Relationship What do I do now?

[hATEptsd]

My boyfriend of 1 1/2 years has PTSD, depression and anxiety. But recently it has gotten really bad. He hasn't went to work for about a month is only relying on his VA benefits. He says he isn't sleeping. I have tried EVERYTHING I can think of to help him, to get him help but he says that nothing will help him. Now he is constantly calling me selfish because he wants to be alone. He is so mean an angry. We haven't text or talked for a few days. I don't know if I just sit tight and wait or what I should do. I keep holding on to the hope that he will get help and go back to who he used to be. But, I am thinking that isn't going to happen.

 

[whiteraven]

I have tried EVERYTHING I can think of to help him, to get him help but he says that nothing will help him.

You aren't responsible for getting him help, but I understand the need to do *something.* Thing is, unless he is willing to get/accept help, there's really nothing you can do.

I don't know if I just sit tight and wait or what I should do. I keep holding on to the hope that he will get help and go back to who he used to be. But, I am thinking that isn't going to happen.

He may or he may not. But if he decides to get help, it will likely take a long time to get back to any semblance of how he used to be. PTSD changes a person. So who he was is likely not who he'll be, even if he gets help.

 

[Sweetpea76]

I keep holding on to the hope that he will get help and go back to who he used to be. But, I am thinking that isn't going to happen.

You need to ask yourself this…. Are you OK with thinks as they are now? This may be as good as it gets from now on.

That lashing out behavior really sucks.

 

[hATEptsd]

You aren't responsible for getting him help, but I understand the need to do *something.* Thing is, unless he is willing to get/accept help, there's really nothing you can do.

He may or he may not. But if he decides to get help, it will likely take a long time to get back to any semblance of how he used to be. PTSD changes a person. So who he was is likely not who he'll be, even if he gets help.

Thank you. I have known him for about 25 years and I have always thought so highly of him. I never knew the demons he was dealing with. He has such a big heart when he isn't in this hypervigilance/ isolation period or being triggered. I have researched so much, I know he needs time alone to feel better but I don't think it's the healthiest way to cope. I just wish he would be a little more objective in the ways he relays the need to be alone to me. I don't know if he even remembers the terrible things he says to me. He never apologizes and never wants to talk about it.

I do need to decide if this is what I want as my future. That makes me feel selfish. :( But, I found this site and thought if I can get help to understand maybe it would be easier to figure out.