Childhood What Do I Do With This New Odd Feeling?

[katz]

Wow! Imagine making a "dish wag" !! Sorry about that .LOL

 

[Deleted member 12723]

What I have done in the past was cut words out of magazines and then to arrange all of the words on the piece of paper and it has been phenomal what issues came out on once I was done. Cutting the words was choosing words that seem to stick out for me, basically it is a calming relaxing thing to do. I used to do this so much when I was in therapy and took these into therapy and we talked about the revealed words which had turned into themes. Brain fog, I cannot remember the name for what the finished product was, it will come to me later.

 

[katz]

What I have done in the past was cut words out of magazines and then to arrange all of the words on the p...

I had a T who had me do that once. I cut some out then just put them away. Even forgot about them for a while. When I took my journal back out, I looked thru them and was able to really see how I had "felt" back then.

I went thru them slowly and was able to pick out which ones I still "felt". In a weird way, it was good to get rid of some. It kind of let me know that I am growing--even if it is very slowly.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

@katz, crocheting a rag seems simple enough (though I havent done it since I was around 20 so 15 yrs) but I can see that. Make a chain the length you want it one direction and connect chains the length the other direction. Makes sense. I had trouble keeping my chain consistant. Some would be way too tight where i couldnt get the hook in to connect it and others would be way too loose. I tend to do tight stitches so i bought yard that is almost like string but soft to practice making a chain consistant and then my best friend turned roommate whom is who taught me showed me how to connect the chain and i was trying to go in a circle with a single stitch, hense the "finger wamer" lol. I have a ton of things still, including that yarn (its the best to practice consistance with) so i can pick it back up.

As to the coloring book. I can shade a children's one but not this one. Its fine, im just not used to laying down even color, im an artist. But its totally fine and very detailed so keeps my attention.

 

[barefoot]

I have done in the past was cut words out of magazines and then to arrange all of the words on the piece of paper and it has been phenomal what issues came out

Love this idea. An extension of this could be creating a mood board - cutting out words, images, using colours, textures, fabrics etc that all appeal and you somehow feel a connection to. As @gizmo says, if you can't put words around it yourself, perhaps they (or at least some themes/concepts) will come by bringing your creation into the therapy space and exploring what you've chosen and how you've displayed it, together.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

"Not sure what I want to say, but I wanted to start writing to see what (if anything) comes up about these new feelings I've been experiencing. So, here I am..."

Thats normally how I start all threads. With poems normally a word or phrase will play over in my head. I type it and more come. I dont think, I just type and normally I can express in a poem what I cant in just typing paragraphs.

Its so odd, I think, as my brain never ever turns off or slows down but when it comes to expressing whats circling, I have trouble with finding any word.

I like the image idea, and can find some on stock photography that expresses things. Being an artist, I want to draw or paint what I cant express in words but im having trouble with that now when back in '91 - '01 i was ripping drawings & paintings right and left. The most recent is the 2 painting I have on here where I learned to water down acylic a bit to make it more fluid and add sharpie marker to detail and that was done around in '09 but since I entered in therapy with my current therapist at the end of '09, I havent been able to do much of anything. All ive drawn was half of Rio teaching someone with a slight mental disabilty (she's in her 40s but has a mind of about a 13 yr old), she wants to learn art though she does a picture like a young child would do, I still encourage her and help to teach her things. But when teaching, my brain is rather focused.

Oh lord, im sorry to ramble. I honestly didnt mean to go on like that. She wants me to finish Rio for her (i did it for her to finish) and Im having a hard time.

ETA: Also, things have changed a bit in the last few months.

 

[katz]

@katz, crocheting a rag seems simple enough (though I havent done it since...

I've been enjoying a "dot-to-dot" book! Kind of different.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

"dot-to-dot"

Like connect the dots?

 

[katz]

@katz, crocheting a rag seems simple enough (though I havent done it since...

I've even used crayons! Sure feels like a kid again ! Even the smell of the crayons is familiar. LOL It was even fun to go out and buy myself a "brand new box" ! Almost exciting! LOL
(I have a lot of memories from my other senses, smell, touch, hear, ect.)

 

[katz]

Like connect the dots?

Yes. The adult ones are a hot item in the stores these days. I think that everyone has finally figured out what a good therapy they are - even for adults.

Amazon has a nice selection.

 

[barefoot]

Sounds like writing may not be the best tool for you and that art/images give you better access to feeling and expressing your feelings. So, don't try to fight the resistance/blankness around finding words - just go with the image-based stuff, which seems like a better fit for you? Work with yourself and your natural talents and strengths :-)

As an aside, I feel connecting to myself feelings much easier and more useful when I'm journalling with paper and pen. The process isn't quite the same when I type it. That's quite common with people I know who journal. It seems to give a slightly different "in".

I may be wrong, so apologies if I'm getting confused, but do I remember you saying before that you're dyslexic? Not saying at all that people with dyslexia can't journal and won't get anything out of it - not at all. But it is potentially an extra layer of challenge in the process.

I love writing and, for me, that's my creative outlet, but can't draw to save my life - I'm very envious of your artistic talents! :-)

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I may be wrong, so apologies if I'm getting confused, but do I remember you saying before that you're dyslexic?

You're not wrong, Im letter and number dyslexic and it does pose a challenge reading as I have to read something 5 times on average to understand what Im reading.

Its getting worse as I get older though I have learned to be patient with myself and my brain does a very good job at turning things back around for me. I read and write a bit slower to give my brain time to turn things back around. When I write, I will write a word in "stages" about two or three letters at a time, a few milla seconds as a pause as Im reading the word in my head to switch letters around in my head to then continue writing. So I dont, obviously, write with letters transposed usually though sometimes I do.

I had to read a large paragraph outloud for one of my trainings here at work and my old supervisor at the time commended me to everyone else stating that I did an amazing job reading for a dyslexic (though to me I sound like a very slow reader).

It irritates me to no end when people want to be spelling police like on one thread on here. I already have a hard enough time. And was tested in the 10th grade and all of my studies were at 12th grade and college level except I was reading at a 7th grade level, so Im not stupid though Ive been called stupid throughout my entire life including as an adult.

Anyway, images sounds cool. If im posting on here, maybe I can find some stock photos that I can post that represent emotions (to make sure to get "free for all" images). Will look into that. Sounds rather intresting.