What Do You Do To Express Your Anger?

[littlelostchild]

So when I get angry, I turn it inward, which is very unhealthy. My psychiatrist has assigned me homework to list 100 ways to express my anger. So far I have: paint, hit golf balls, tell the person, write a 'no send' letter, write poetry or prose, punch a punching bag, scream in my car, scream into a pillow.

Do you have ways that you safely express your anger that I could try?

Thanks!

 

[Rizen]

Writing can be good. I wrote this thread today https://www.myptsd.com/threads/do-insensitive-people-make-you-mad.44714/
It made me feel a little better to hear from someone else. Exercise is healthy but I'm not sure how well it gets anger out. Talking to someone can really help I've found. Sometimes I need to sleep on it but I have trouble making myself go to bed when in a rotten mood.
If I do research and inform myself as much as possible it makes me feel better. I hate an feeling of vulnerability so lessening that helps. Anger has a lot of energy that can be used productively. I'm constantly solving problems.

 

[Whitebird]

I have an imaginary room. Whenever I feel anger or any other disturbing feelings, I go to this room and imagine I'm screaming and breaking dishes and things! I can do everything in this room as it's my safety room and also imaginary!

 

[pamcoco]

It seems this post is an excellent start!

I find it is a messy process and allowing myself that reality enables the most expression. For me, there was no way to go from zero to perfection. Seems anger is one of the least accepted emotions socially, and it rarely goes over well in spite of years of effort. If only I could get people to hear what I am really trying to say rather that what they project I am saying.

One step at a time, I feel my way through what I have to say and what I do not. In the beginning I had to over express and get over angry. But I believe that was improvement. I am much gentler now, but knowing what I know now, I would always err on the TOO angry side, over swallowing it.

Good luck!

 

[franciemarnie]

Any kind of exercise diffuses the anger for me because it brings down the excess energy that can keep me up all night. It reduces the rage to a manageable state so that if I want to take action or speak, I am not an ineffectual raving lunatic.

I bought a punching bag on a stand which is great. I love smashing tennis balls. I can hit the mark and feel effective and not powerless. Playing excellent high energy music while working out helps. Writing letters I don't send is great.

When I have brought down the scary insane violent feelings, figuring out what action I can take and what is out of my hands is calming. Recognizing the Truth.

 

[ChasingMyTail]

I am trying to take it out on my house - e.i. housework.

 

[bluebird]

I write and paint a lot. Sometimes I run - and I hit the walls, kick stones - whatever... but l tend to turn it inwards, mostly... It's really difficult sometimes.

From time to time, I imagine breaking loads of glasses, filled with red wine - I imagine smashing them, falling on the ground, smashing - destroying all the imprisoned fear...

 

[Ladyghosthunter]

I'm glad this subject was brought up. Sometimes I take the anger inwardly a lot because if I ever expressed anger, I was the nasty one or the one who had/has issues. Otherwise, if I express my anger, depending on the situation, I go from cynical, sarcasm to full out yelling and a viciousness that goes to pit viper in no time flat. I don't know how to express myself in a "normal" fashion as my life was never normal nor did I never have "normal" people around me. I can cry when I'm angry but it's after that that scares the crap out of people...pit viper doesn't explain it; I go from pit viper to cottonmouth to black mamba. It depends, as I said, upon the situation. However, in knowing God and leading a better life, I take that anger and turn it to help those who need a hug or need a shoulder to cry on. I am trying to turn myself around the best way I can....however, it's all a work in progress...

 

[Philippa]

Stage a mock greek wedding and smash some plates against a wall...then create a mural out of the shattered pieces (I've never actually done this but I've imagined doing it and want to). Scream...into a pillow or out loud if no one is around and you feel comfortable. Take a batt and beat a pillow or the bed. paint it out. riding my bike discharges the energy of anger. Protests are a good cathartic and socially active place where you can express anger and it's socially accepted.

 

[Lionheart]

I will just tell a person, "Hey I am starting to get mad," and then I will say the reason why. I might ask them to adjust their behavior if it is something they are doing that is angering me, and then I am usually able to just let it go after that.

I am fortunate in the fact that I don't stay angry very long, ...unless of course, someone attacks me, my family, or friends in some way.

Once, I wrote a poem called "Bad Mother F'rs Rap" wherein I used a lot of cursing and humor to diffuse my anger. I would share it here if it wasn't so vulgar.

Another time I took my therapist advise; I went to a yard sale and bought a bunch of old dishes real cheap and then I went to the parking lot and broke them into little pieces...it really helped me, the only drawback to that is I had to clean up my mess afterwards.

Also I have written letters that I never intended to send. Some I tore into shreds and others, I burned.

I once got violent and punched a guy in the nose, breaking his nose. That is not my usual way of trying to solve a situation, but if you are abusive to me, then I tend to snap like a rubber band!!!! I'm not real proud of that but it is the honest truth.

Most of the time I can just say, "Hey that pisses me off," and I will usually get an immediate apology and it is the end of the story.

Thanks for this thread!!! It reminds me that most of the time there are several effective ways to deal with anger other than to resort to violence.

 

[Caterpillar]

I fantasize about what I'd like to do to the abusers. I write violent books where the evil people always get what they deserve and the characters I identify with are never left powerless. I read dark, violent books like Joe Abercrombie and Stephen King. I watch revenge fantasy movies like Natural Born Killers and Kill Bill. I listen to metal with violent lyrics. I'm not sure how healthy all this is, but some days I feel like they're the only things that keep me below the threshold of acting out. But then, internalizing is less a problem for me than keeping the anger from striking out inappropriately at family, friends, acquaintances, and even strangers.

I've never done anything like smashing cheap plates because I'm secretly terrified of expressing the anger physically. I'm afraid I would lose control of it if I let it out of the fantasy realm of stories and music.

 

[Meadowsweet]

I think you've mentioned all of mine.

Write a 'no send' letter.
Write poetry.
Rant in a private journal.
Scream in the car.
Go for a walk.
Do the cleaning.