What Do You Do With Your Alone Time?

[elvis]

struggling at the moment b/c the quiet alone times are the most exhausting. i am so tired of this. i feel like i am locked in a prison inside of myself.

 

[Andre]

I am sorry, I am not certain exactly what you are asking. If about activities, then quiet alone times I find best for reading myself-studying and things like that. That is what I try to do to keep my mind busy then. Since you seem to have an interest in painting, perhaps try going out some days to try random landscapes and scenes to paint? If you are asking about how to handle thoughts then, well, I have problems there myself but others here can give you some good suggestions for that.

 

[elvis]

yes. thoughts. i have so many all at once i don't know how to say them. or kee p them at bay.

 

[Deleted member 93]

I think journaling and writing about the emotions involved with those thoughts will help. Those thoughts I have noticed do not like to go away as they have not been addressed. While so many try to space out and distract I don't think it is healthy or productive. Those intrusive thoughts come as they need to be dealt with. So try writing and just get it all out how they are viewed by you and why. There is a list in info of various emotions to help put it in words. Good luck. Sometimes out mind is demanding as it is something we need to face head on.

 

[Andre]

I recently made a thread about precisely the same topic in the private PTSD section, about negative thoughts and associated problems, and gotten many good suggestions there already. If you do not get many responses here then when you are approved for access there it should be even more developed with further replies. I hope everyone will forgive me but I am going to try to summarize some of the advice I have been given. Try making notes of good thoughts and putting them where you can quickly see them, finding positive thoughts and confidently saying them out loud to help dispel the negative thoughts from your mind. Also, try making a large collection of support articles that act to reassure you that the negative thoughts are part of PTSD, and that they will pass. Collect numbers of friends and support services in advance so that you can call them quickly when you need to talk. One thing I can add is that feeling tired after this is something to expect because it is a great strain on your body and mind, so take all the rest that you need and know that it is not any kind of fault to need rest.

 

[Deleted member 93]

OK I may be confused here LOL... But are we talking negative thoughts as in how you should be feeling, pushing yourself to be something you are not type of thoughts or the intrusive thoughts that are the bad ones and scenes we cannot get out of our head?

 

[juls]

Hi Veiled,

Where do you find the "list of emotions" that you talked about?

juls

 

[Deleted member 93]

[DLMURL]http://www.ptsdforum.org/thread700.html[/DLMURL] It is under anger managment in information. Very comprehensive list.

 

[elvis]

both.

it is both all at once. feeling extremely alone and anxious today. i have a few people i call, but they're not always available. and on days like today i feel even worse when they can't spend time with me. i have a very hard time feeling connected to anyone unless they are in front of me and even then itis a battle. i am so scared. i keep thinking if i post the right thing that i will get an answer to make all of this better. i just can't think of any question to ask. just scared.

 

[Deleted member 93]

You do not have to ask questions and no one will ever be able to give you the magic answer. It takes a long time to get to a good place. Sometimes it feels like it will never get better, but it does. Just don't forget that part. On your down days just get on here and vent, let it out. You would be amazed when you just spout off how others here have been there and can see things in your statements that you do not. As this forum grows the more people here that can relate and advise you. To help you see. And also the perk of this place growing you may not be able to fully grasp what one person is saying but another puts it differently and the veil is lifted and things seem more clear. So on a day like today just vent and let it all out. You may reveal something that helps something one of us may be able to point out or even yourself understand.

I get feeling lonely and needing support. But with healing you will find you do not need other people to hold you up, even if we need it at the start and help up on the way when you fall. You will find you can feel confident and capable of standing alone and having people out of desire for good company rather than needing the support.

So don't ask, just vent, elvis.

 

[elvis]

okay. i'll try. not very good at this.
i want a mom who wants me and loves me and understands me and is proud of me and can teach me.

i want my marriage to not suck.

i want to not fear people abandoning me or turning on me.

i want to contribute something beautiful to the world besides all of this pain an d confusion.

i am scared b/c i feel as though i have "stumped" so many people with this struggle.

i am tired of working so hard to just keep up with what is normal for others, like training underwater with heavy weights trying to keepup with someone on land is the best way i can see it.

i am tired of feeling like the exception and as though i will never belong anywhere.

i hate myself. and i hate that i make everything so complicated and painful

 

[batgirl]

When I'm having trouble with talking or expressing myself, I will draw what I feel. I also find doing collages helps with really strong feelings or intrusive thoughts. I use old ringed recipe books that I find at garage sales, and paste random bits of paper, stickers, paint, whatever, to make the collage. I never worry what it's going to turn out to be. It's surprising though how much it makes me feel better. It's easy to do because you can use scraps of anything you have lying around the house, even rubbish or wrappings from food. I generally do at least a couple of collages a day now, usually first thing in the morning. I have hundreds now!! Anyways if you're interested in trying it out I've included a couple of examples of stuff I've done lately. It might seem silly, but it really really helps (me at least), and requires no artistic talent. I think it's called art therapy?