What do you need emotionally right now, and why?

[Survivor3]

I need to feel the safety of belonging to a 'tribe'. Being with a pack of people that understand and support each other. Shared thinking beliefs and laughter. That would help me defeat my demons and their abuse so I wouldn't feel like a victim all the time.

 

[Rani G2]

belonging to a 'tribe'. Being with a pack of people that understand and support each other.

@Survivor3 They seem to exist, sometimes lacking energy I wait for them to knock on my Door though. We‘ll find some of them Survivor, they might be right in front of us, maybe we’ve got to Do some glas cleaning because of this foggy perception that covers our lenses, or sometimes shitty people do exist because they want to leave their luggage on my doorstep, but then comes someone special and even if it’s for a while let’s enjoy while it happens. I’m here though behind a screen, and I get you

 

[piratelady]

I need a break from everything, like all the ptsd feelings and crap. I know this because of how tired I am, but not physically tired. When I looked back on my day yesterday, it was clear with how I could barely bring myself to journal, or read anything here, or even think about that stuff without getting really agitated.

I’ve gotten better at seeing how I am when I’m OK. If I look back in the previous day or even like an hour or two ago, if it’s real bad, I try to see what’s different from “OK”. Then why do I feel that way, and what is necessary to make it better?

I don’t know if that’s helpful at all.

 

[Freida]

Beats the hell out of me.
Funny you should ask though because T asked me something similar just last week.
She wants me to define "peace"
As in - what would it feel like to be at peace - with myself, my life, my environment, blah blah
So far I'm at a loss - so this thread is perfect!
@Friday I'll take the confused look and beverage too!

 

[RussellSue]

My homework for T (on top of the letter in my diary) is to think daily about what I need emotionally. Like what do I need from myself or other people.

As a human who is basically unaware of any feelz I have no idea how to answer this. Never mind have a new answer each day. So I'm asking you nice folks, what do you need today to fulfil your emotional needs?

I'm basically hoping I can understand better wtf most people consider a need and bounce off it so I can think. But yeah.. go nuts, say whatever.

Thanks.

I need patience for my work situation from myself because I have been doing a lot of stuff that needed done (like weatherizing for current snow storm) and it would have been impossible to do these things 50+ hours per week for the last 5-6 weeks with a job. Likewise, I couldn't get a job until we got moved because my husband can't drive long distances and I was taking him to and from work. Beating myself up over being jobless constantly just isn't helpful.

I need my husband to provide me with more feedback when I start fretting about said work situation. When I think about it, I realize he is not the least bit concerned about me working/not being employed right now and he's very glad I was here to repair the roof, rebuild our slide-out and so on (which is the main reason he isn't saying anything) but it would be nice to hear that he isn't concerned more often since not hearing it is all the reason my head needs to attack me about it.

 

[Warrior Chicken]

I need a punch in the head.....
Naw, that’s what I hear when I think about feeeeelings. So, it’s letting that thought pass so I can find out what the heck I am feeling. So far still stuck on “punch in the head”.
Patience...perseverance.

 

[lil_fighter]

I need to move my body by exercising, something I don't do often enough lately apart from walking. I have an exercise bike and haven't used it in months. Today I'm going to listen to an upbeat playlist and use the bike. Cycle and keep cycling until I feel connected with myself again so that I can feel something.

Also, later this evening, watching a comedy or a feel good documentary to lift my mood and then finally, going to sleep earlier than I have been lately and trying my best to rest and switch off from my racing thoughts.

 

[Freemartin]

@Friday I'll take the confused look and beverage too!

Count me in!

But seriously, I’ll give this one a go.

I’m feeling exposed and insecure. I feel I may have disclosed too much in therapy today. I feel I might get punished or shamed somehow.

So, I think I need reassurance. Someone to tell me that what I did wasn’t wrong. That it was okay for me to disclose those things. I’m also feeling a bit ashamed of myself. Unsure of whether my T still likes me and wants to work with me. So I need her to somehow express to me, the next time we meet, that she thinks I’m okay and that I haven’t humiliated myself.

Basically, I guess I need some expressions of affection and acceptance.

 

[Friday]

I’m feeling exposed and insecure.

So, I think I need reassurance.

^^^This makes sense to me^^^

Especially as you didn’t stop there, but created a very 3D conceptualization // multiple facets coming together to form a whole. I tried to quote the whole series, but I’m technologically challenged at the moment (lucky I didn’t try to tie my shoes) and gave it up as a bad job.

Because there might be
- 50 different situations where I felt exposed & insecure
- 25 different answers
- 10 different need/wants
- 5 distinct groupings under 3 headings ... (For example... Internal/ External/ Environmental>>> External; someone I know well, someone impartial, a specific person, a specific personality, a specific authority)

Which is scaling down as I write it, but that’s actually looking at hundreds of possible solutions, as each of those 50 different situations has a whole durn kaleidoscope attached... all for the same baseline of exposed & insecure.

That’s part of what always gets me about these sorts of questions. Because it’s never as straightforward as I’m feeling exposed & insecure, therefore I need reassurance. What kind of reassurance? From whom? In what form? And what about all of the times when reassurance is the last thing I need or want???

The way you set about answering this question? First built the lock, with all of it’s tumblers, and then created a key. Which is just badass. A specific key, for a specific lock.

WITHOUT being one of those “you’re f*cked” traps with there being only 1 possible -and exact- answer that only a fictional character could magic into place. ((I need him/her to say exactly these words, in exactly this tone, at exactly this time, doing exactly this and never that, and Shazaam! Everything will be all better! But get even one inflection off and <cue meltdown> Shudder.)) Real People, meanwhile? Including ourselves trying to meet our own demands? Don’t stand a chance.

Seriously badass @Freemartin
Build the lock.
Build the key.
Make sure it’s a master key.

 

[Chris-duck]

Thanks guys, I'm still pretty f*cking lost tbh, and T is at 9.30am tomorrow, but hey at least we have established how much I have no f*cking clue.

Totally stumps me, too, if a confused face handing you a drink from beside you on the bench, is any use. (Not much, I know.)

Honestly, sounds perfect

I can get a leeeeeetle bit of traction if I change the question to “what do I WANT emotionally)... but that’s also not a daily variable thing. It’s the same durn things I always want, emotionally. Enthusiasm. Determination. Passion. Joy. Love. Humor. Cocky self confidence. Triumph. Sated bliss. Curiosity. Mischief.

Need? Doesn’t parse

Yeah, so it was initially "what do I need?" which we changed to "what do I want?" but what do I need has me like "um.. food, water.. shelter? But even then, not like acutely, just like.. at some point?" and what do I want has me like "uh.. alcohol? A cake?" And I really don't think either are what he's looking for. Cos it kinda came from a what do I need from other people convo, and for that, I'm like "uh, literally nothing, do whatevs, I'll manage"

And in what regard? Like if I’m beset by sorrows, I need to stubborn up? Or need to temper some wild enthusiasm with steadiness? Dragging ass need to dig deep and find my motivation? Or if I’m middling okayish, need to get fierce about some joy? Are we talking counters &/or accentuation to what’s already there? ...Or environmental factors, like being around badass bastards that make me a better person and even the worst of life fun as f*ck? Or the lousy draining job needing some serious grounding and centering to not lose myself AAAARGH >.< factor, but maintain my sense of integrity? <<< So by “need” are we talking about what I’m doing in response to whats already there? (Both internally & externally) IE -essentially- Emotional Monitoring & Regulation? Or building a baseline mental/emotional outlook? Or, or, or...

#nowyouvelostme. I think any? But like from other people, or like from myself that isn't like a food/water type thing. I dunno. He's all "it's practice, I don't expect you to know right away", but I think he underestimates how thick I actually am, heh.

...Faaaaaaaaawk. How about I “need” (meaning want) to not be talking about my feeeeeeeelings. Like, ever. Shudder

Yes. This. This is a need I can buy into!

 

[WonderWriter]

I need my husband to show - not tell - he love and respects me. Why? Because it releases “feel good” chemicals in the body creating genuine happiness. However, my husband rarely does that so I feel sad, alone and useless all or most of the time.

 

[AnnieMae]

I need something in my life to go the way I want it too lol. I need hugs from my nieces and nephews (I adore them since I have no children, and I can spoil them lol). The one thing that would let me heal completely would be if the judge even knew what I went through. A small validation would be nice, but will never happen. She thinks she knows domestic violence, she’s never been involved in it. Never been emotionally abused or manipulated. I feel so stupid because of it.