What do you need emotionally right now, and why?

Friday

Moderator
So here’s a maaaaaaaybe example? (Still trying to wrap my head around it).

Someone I love first deliberately exposed themselves to Covid... THEN exposed all of the rest of us in the house.
- I was/am (justifiably) furious about that.
- I (justifiably) read them the riot about that.

I am going to be furious about that for -bare minimum- the next 2 weeks, until we find out who IS infected, and who lives and who dies.

What I need emotionally, right now? Is both self control & stamina.

- On the self control front, after chewing them out? I took a nap. Because I was starting to pop off like a frog in a sock about everything, both justified & total bullshit, past & present. Nope. Huh-uh. Being angry is one thing. Not being able to control & direct my anger? Are 2 very different things. So, first off, I needed some sleep. Past that, I need to be very mindful about keeping myself on a short leash... however I’m accomplishing that in a few different ways... rather than simply coiling it, cooling it, and saving it for later (which is my MO). Because that’s an explosion waiting to happen, and I don’t have a way to direct explosive anger, right at the moment, in a controlled fashion. Nor do I have a reliable way of venting the sparky sparky boom as the pressure builds. So, whilst I’m also looking at ways to vent that energy/stress/steam? I’m also rather ruthlessly cutting a lot of the petty bullshit out of my life, for the next few weeks. I don’t have the patience for it, so I’m simply not going to tolerate it, even though I can usually suck it up. Nope. Tick. Tick. Tick. Gone, gone, gone. Because if I want to KEEP myself tightly under control? I need to remove things that test my self control at the best of times.

- On the stamina front... we’re mostly looking at self-care, bleeding stress, foundational shit + some awareness of what’s going on / keeping my head clear.

- So what I’m dealing with is anger.
- What I need -in order to get what I want- is stamina & self control.

- What I’d LIKE is for the people I’m pissed off at to pull their heads out (instead of attempting to blameshift their decision to risk the lives of people I love onto me because I’m making them unhappy and everything was fiiiiiiiiine until I got mad at them ...YOU exposed 4 high risk people to Covid... to f*cking man up, and admit they made a big f*cking mistake. I’m not holding my breath on either. But I am ALSO not taking any shit, because this is entirely their fault, and I am furious with them for good reason. Because of their actions. Not mine.), and a few other things that would just make my life easier. Not necessary, nor expected, just desired.

- An ASIDE (related need/wants, to both the situation & the anger) is on the self-regulation / dysregulation front. It would be very very easy for me to start snowballing into things that simply are not useful. Like grief, fear, catastrophizing, WhatIF, woulda/coulda/shoulda, depression, anxiety attacks, panic attacks, future tripping, zoning out, etc. <waves hand around vaguely> So in addition to some justifiable anger? I also need to keep a weather eye on bullshit emotions & thought processes... because it would be very very easy to lose my Center... if I am so focused on the big flashy emotion, that I miss smaller ones starting to spin out of control.
 

woodsy1

MyPTSD Pro
A back rub and some tea with a good friend who understands me. Maybe a bouquet of flowers. Warm milk and fresh out of the oven cookies. A call from someone who I thought had rejected me.
This sounds splendid. Can I just use your answer?!?

Someone to just sit a while with me. A nurturing soul who will pamper me a little. And who I can pamper in return.
🤗

I need laughter!! Just the silly kind that one thing makes you laugh and then it sort of takes on a life of its own. Just bouncing silliness off of others and it comes back with more laughter. I'm so sick of everything being so serious all the time.
I hear you! Sometimes I just end up laughing at the most silly things, because I just need to laugh.

Count me in!

But seriously, I’ll give this one a go.

I’m feeling exposed and insecure. I feel I may have disclosed too much in therapy today. I feel I might get punished or shamed somehow.

So, I think I need reassurance. Someone to tell me that what I did wasn’t wrong. That it was okay for me to disclose those things. I’m also feeling a bit ashamed of myself. Unsure of whether my T still likes me and wants to work with me. So I need her to somehow express to me, the next time we meet, that she thinks I’m okay and that I haven’t humiliated myself.

Basically, I guess I need some expressions of affection and acceptance.
Well, I'm not your therapist, but I can assure you that you didn't disclose too much. Is that even possible? I'd always prefer to have every thing right out in the open. It's easier to work with it that way.

You are accepted here. You can share pretty much anything with us. We'll all listen and might even give you our 2 cents worth.

I think you are ok. I enjoy chatting with you.

Woodsy1
 

DharmaGirl

MyPTSD Pro
I need someone to validate that I quit 6 years of MS Contin (morphine) cold turkey and that the Suboxone that I ended up having to take because of lasting side effects is not the same stuff. My household didn't say anything, even though I was really sick and it was really HARD!
 

woodsy1

MyPTSD Pro
I need someone to validate that I quit 6 years of MS Contin (morphine) cold turkey and that the Suboxone that I ended up having to take because of lasting side effects is not the same stuff. My household didn't say anything, even though I was really sick and it was really HARD!
I've been working 5 months on stopping prescribed benzos. It can be hard as heck to get off meds or change them. You have accomplished a monumental task! Way to go!
 

Freida

Sponsor
Like grief, fear, catastrophizing, WhatIF, woulda/coulda/shoulda, depression, anxiety attacks, panic attacks, future tripping, zoning out, etc. <waves hand around vaguely> So in addition to some justifiable anger? I also need to keep a weather eye on bullshit emotions & thought processes... because it would be very very easy to lose my Center... if I am so focused on the big flashy emotion, that I miss smaller ones starting to spin out of control.
yes please!!!
I still struggle with getting angry, but I've noticed that I jump right from ....I'm annoyed to I'm bitch woman from hell
Learning how that should actually go? Would be huge
 
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