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What Do You Need In This Moment?

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People not telling me I'm not deserving food. Because f*ck you, you, and you /too/.

To go back to thinking of things I managed fine in the past week. Let's think of that port I managed whole ten minutes of a conversation about, while trash talking its lack of cleanliness. Aka: To think of sooo outer edges of trauma things just disappear and appear normal.
 
I need a long held dream to come true... to know I really tried... even if it doesn't work out...
I need the physical pain to land on some one I don't care about.... let them feel it for awhile
I need the brain zaps to staaaaap it...
I need food that will not upset my stomach... and money to buy said food..
I need to step back in time, during my drinking and drugging days, one of the ones with great fun memories, with no consequences...
I need to not need, makes me feel vulnerable.
 
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