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She was there for me, when I was feeling I would die soon, a terrible time. She was one of a few women I have known who I describe as broken and whole. And what I mean by that, and what I sort of hope for people like us, who've been traumatized, is not that we can exactly undo the trauma, because I don't believe it's possible, but that we will be like oaks, like strong old trees, knots and all- not symmetrical, not unblemished, but powerful and rooted.