What does T mean by this?

[Renly]

Now I'm thinking the fact that I have been spiraling into negative thoughts and giving into self harm urges this week after this one little comment might actually prove that I'm not as stable as I thought I was.

This is so insightful! I bet a big part of it is your T wants to make sure you can utilize healthy coping skills instead of resorting to negativity and self-harm…diving into trauma processing has been a million times harder than I expected it would be. The process has increased all my negative emotions between sessions as well as my desires to “just make it stop” in all the bad ways…but I know things are moving for me in the right direction and that feels so rewarding. It’s so hard for me to use healthy coping skills when the bad ones work faster and I am already really good at using them, lol. I’d say this insight you’ve had is progress! Best of luck to you!

 

[Ellie226]

It’s so hard for me to use healthy coping skills when the bad ones work faster and I am already really good at using them, lol. I’d say this insight you’ve had is progress! Best of luck to you!

Thank you! And this is so true. It's so hard to resist when my bad self harm coping habits provide immediate relief to what feels unbearable.

 

[Paula]

Thank you for your reply! The thing is, I feel like I'm in a much better place now and that I'm actually doing very well, so I'm surprised to hear that my T doesn't think I'm ready or stable enough to get deeper into my trauma. It also confuses me because to me it feels like we've already delved deep into it so I was surprised to hear that she doesn't think the same. The more I dwell on her comment the more negative self-talk I've been having so I am feeling quite upset and discouraged with myself, and also angry at her for making me feel this way. She mentioned that the fact that I haven't spoken to my boyfriend about my trauma could be a sign that I'm not ready, but we have only been dating for a month so that seems like an unfair analysis to me. I will try bringing up to her that I feel like I might be ready and see what she says. Thank you for your advice!

Remember you are not required to share any trauma with anyone. Focus instead on the issues of trust,healing takes place when you are willing to do the intense inner work that is necessary for your healing. It takes time,effort,and desire to get well. No one can do it for you. EMDR is intense and frustrating at times,but the rewards are immense. When your therapist is not willing to see you point of view,I would look for another one,which I did. I have done EMDR for more that 3 yrs this time around. Make a list from A-Z of topics to talk about for your therapist to help her and you stay on the road you want to be on. After all this is your therapy,you will get out of it what you put in it.

 

[Defaultxlove]

my T recently told me we cant talk about the trauma until I rest
we do CBT
it makes sense to me like this:

I was unstable as you recently discovered you were at that time
I was pissed off she wouldnt want me to talk about it in session so I said something
and she explained basically what everyone else here has


I guess Im letting you know you arent alone I felt the same way and am happily on the other side of it and T had no problem with me saying I didnt like that she was stopping me

mine was a little more obvious that I was unstable though so maybe also give yourself a break :)
just trying to be helpful.