Relationship What Does This Mean?

[idkhelen]

So long story short, my marine vet is saying he needs to be alone and that what he wants to do which is go back in the military, is better to do without a girlfriend. He's saying he needs help because he's still angry at how much pain women has caused him. I asked him if I have done anything to hurt and he goes, f*ck no you are the best girlfriend I have had and I don't deserve you. He said that he feels that if he stays with me bad things will happen to me and he can't let that happen. I'm so confused and hurt right now. We've been so good for the past month it was almost like i was in a movie and then he hits me with this with no warning. I don't know what to do.

 

[grimalkin]

It sounds like a pretty typical push because he feels like you're getting too close.

It sucks.

The only thing I can think of would be to tell him "I'm not going anywhere, and it's not up to you to decide if you deserve me or not. If bad things happen, we'll tackle them together" And then keep living your life. Make sure your own support system is in place. Make your own decisions about your boundaries, including deciding if you can live with your relationship being exactly as it is, with the push-pull dynamic, all the time, and what you will do if/when you can't anymore.

 

[Newtoptsd]

Hugs to you :hug:

I totally empathize with you, it's the worst that someone doesn't want to be with you for reasons that have absolutely nothing to do with you! However, when you love someone you should love them enough to let them do what they need to do. It's a shitter I know, I haven't been in a full blown relationship with my sufferer, he's said he isn't capable and doesn't want one. This I have to take as his absolute word, yet he won't cut contact with me and has said he loves me.

I know he's just not in a position to be the boyfriend he wants to be, he thinks I deserve better and should be with someone who is not mentally ill. I have made my choice to continue to be a friend and be ok and happy with the situation we are currently in, will he get better and come around to wanting a relationship - who knows. All I know is I can either choose to accept the situation we are in and support him in his healing and therapy or I can cut and run (no thanks).

I think you just need to how him you support him throughout this journey and you will have to take a step back in the relationship, only if you want to?

Trust me there is a lot of supporters on here in a similar position, you're not alone! Chin up :hug: