What Helps Before/after Exposure?

[Maxi]

I'm still struggling with situational avoidance. At the moment I'm trying to draw up an action plan for handling exposure and need a little bit of advice. I've realised that I require consistent exposure (daily) in order to get over this, which essentially means that I will be terrified and flooded, but I can't see any other way, as progressive exposure has proved ineffective.

1) What sort of things have helped you before exposure? (as in directly before you're about to face a situation which you are afraid of).

2) What sort of things have helped you after exposure? (I tend to leave really triggered and spend the rest of the day stuck in compulsive rituals. I need to find a healthy alternative. What do you do to calm down and live a normal life?).

3) How do you get yourself to go back and do it again? (what do you say to yourself, or do?)

Really need some guidance.

 

[Friday]

My answers to these Qs are all extremely variable... Depending on what the stressor is. At least for me, there's no EasyButton / single protocol that works across the board*.

Similarly...when I first started doing this / taught myself how, I wasn't in therapy. I didn't know it was a "thing"... It was based entirely on what pissed me off or annoyed me. Which has a few facets to it. Namely, I didn't have an expected timeline / things took as long as they took, and I didn't know there was a "way" to do it. I simply did what felt right at the time. I kept doing it, and changing things around to suit the stressor or trigger, because time and time again... It worked. But each stressor & trigger? Had a different path to get from Freakout--Fine

One trigger I could do fast and dirty in a long weekend. Meanwhile, another one took about 2 years. And everything in between.

So I'm curious, when you say that progressive exposure has been ineffective, what that looks like?

* The caveat on this is that each one? I had to be pissed off at. It couldn't merely be disruptive. It had to be somewhere on the scale of making me angry that it was disruptive. Actively sorting a trigger or stressor could take anywhere from a few days to a few years, but if they didn't also actively irritate me at the very least? Pfft. I either ignored them or learned to work around them. There was no way in hell sorting them was going to happen. I've had some things in my life for more than 15 years that I haven't bothered to touch, simply because they're either not worth my time or not applicable. Whether that's because they come up rarely, or while they may bug other people they don't actually bother me that much, makes no nevermind. There's not enough irritation, annoyance, frustration, vexation, anger, seriously pissed off, rage, or fury present to allow me to get a grip on it to start working on the sucker.

After that, how I dealt with each trigger or stressor (prior, during, or post) changed very much depending on the individual thing. But the baseline was that I needed to be angry about it.

 

[Friday]

Whoops... I should have checked, first:

I was assuming in the above that you're talking real life exposure therapy / dealing with symptoms and situations (crowds, for example), not processing trauma exposure therapy? (Like trauma diaries Link Removed )

 

[Katiekins343]

Well im not sure what advice I can give as far as rituals because I still struggle with that I myself, but for me, I guess in order to help with avoidance, you can maybe start with what action you have the most trouble with first. Like for me, after I have a panic attack, getting up and doing anything is always the hardest.I have to start with just sitting on my bed. Then maybe 10 minutes later, I can focus on standing, then maybe walking to my bathroom or getting water. The biggest step is always socializing with family in the living room. Especially if people are over my house. The friends and family I have come to my house sort of know what's going on with me and they're supportive.that's a key thing- support from not those you WANT or WISH would be there for you but those that just are there because they love you. What helps me continue the behavior? Being patient with myself I guess....sometimes thats hard... sometimes im able to fight through it, sometimes I have help, sometimes I can't do anything at all... sometimes its as simple as taking a xanax (get a prescription first, don't abuse them) ....also on a more holistic note, meditation. ... sounds silly- might feel silly but chakra meditation really helps...id look into it.a good chakra cleanse can really be helpful. My answer in short I guess would just be take each step little by little. I know its not satisfying but its got to be done. I've heard a great analogy for ptsd. Picture all that you're going through as a brick wall.acknowledge it and instead of demolishing it all in one shot, pull out a brick. If it comes right out without shaking the wall, great. If not, just push it back in and deal with it later. eventually it'll get easier to pull out the bricks.

I hope this helps in small way.

Be safe,

Katie

 

[Maxi]

I was assuming in the above that you're talking real life exposure therapy / dealing with symptoms and situations (crowds, for example), not processing trauma exposure therapy? (Like trauma diaries Link Removed )

I was talking about real life exposure therapy. I've only really done exposure therapy for OCD and just assumed that the process would be similar for tackling situational avoidance linked to trauma, didn't even consider the differences, but that link you posted is fab! Eternally grateful. I'm going to give it a read! Thank you :)

The biggest step is always socializing with family in the living room. Especially if people are over my house. The friends and family I have come to my house sort of know what's going on with me and they're supportive.that's a key thing- support from not those you WANT or WISH would be there for you but those that just are there because they love you. My answer in short I guess would just be take each step little by little. I know its not satisfying but its got to be done. I've heard a great analogy for ptsd. Picture all that you're going through as a brick wall.acknowledge it and instead of demolishing it all in one shot, pull out a brick. If it comes right out without shaking the wall, great. If not, just push it back in and deal with it later. eventually it'll get easier to pull out the bricks.


Katie

The biggest step for me is socialising afterwards; I just want to be alone. I tend to get overactive rather than unreactive and so I can't shut down my brain and I stop sleeping, which of course leads to burnout. I'm not very good at asking for help from friends/family as I don't want to burden them and don't feel that they can help me, even my therapist becomes redundant when I'm in such states. I'm not on medication at the moment and really want to try and fight this without as I have a bit of an addictive personality. I try to meditate daily, but have never tried chakra meditation. I'll look it up and give it a trial, thank you. I am a big believer in spiritual energy and chakras, so it doesn't sound silly to me :) Thank you again for responding. x

 

[jaccat]

My therapist always emphasises the importance of rewarding yourself for doing something hard, even if it's just something like buying yourself a bar of chocolate. Just taking the time to recognise your achevement.

Have you tried something like mindfulness beforehand? It might help relax you a little.

 

[Neverthesame]

When I was first in therapy, the first and last things the psychologist would do with me was (can't remember what it is called, sorry.) have me think of a place (real or imagined, I chose real. Though I doubt it matters.) At the beginning of the session, I would close my eyes and "go there" bring my anxiety level as low as possible, then therapy started. Before I left, same thing.

Always the same place, the idea being, repetition makes the thought and subsequent emotional state easier to recall. I still do that even today.

The reason I chose the place I did, is because I have a rather poor imagination, I also find everyday noises quite distracting. So I chose a location which I find pleasant, and where everyday noises wouldn't be out of place. If you can't avoid it, use it.

If you care to look, search up Lovell park in Leeds. That's my little happy place. It's actually on my bucket list to go and have a sit there in person.

Anyway, I'm just prattling on now. Hope you find this helpful.

 

[Maxi]

@jaccat Yeah I've tried mindfulness. I try to meditate daily and sometimes do a bit of mindful walking/eating. My brain gets so distracted and overwhelmed after exposures that it gets really hard to practice those skills in the moment.

@Neverthesame Yeah my therapist tried that with me also, 'safe place' meditation and I did find it very useful, but I don't practice it as much as I should really. I'm going to definitely try and up my practise.

Thanks guys. x