I have no techniques! So this thread and people's techniques are helpful.
Feelings are relatively new in some sense in that I'm allowing them and not constantly banishing them. I'm trying to be more conscious about feelings and have started asking myself questions like "what is this feeling" and "why am I behaving like this". But I'm finding I had to look at the feelings wheel that someone posted on a thread on here somewhere to really think about all the feelings there are (not that I don't know them but just to try and *think* more about what it is I am feeling.).
What do you do when you are in nature, or talking to God, or doing yoga or the techniques you use? How does that connect you to your feelings and body? Because in my head if I'm in nature I just think I'm in nature. I'm busy being in nature and avoiding feelings! If that makes sense!
I think I'm in the beginner phase of this.
I am in the same situation.
I wanted to modify my original answer:
1) no drama filled people - they need a mommy and/or a Parole officer - neither of which I am. One of my big "defense mechanisms" (see Janet Greeson's book "It's not what you are eating, it's what's eating you" for List of some of the defense mechanisms people employ to "keep the world and feelings at a distance") is "doing" I was up early then ran around for 20 hours passed out because I was so exhausted. Drama people, needy people all would run me ragged when I stopped running around so much I noticed that the flashbacks began again which is what I want. also, as a side note it is not just other people who "run me ragged" it is me as well. constant baking/cooking/cleaning so I have got to reign my own actions in.
2)First, i limited my exposure to "Family" since they all agitated me. And then once my mom died I tossed them out of my life and it is sad to say this but my life has been so much happier!!
3) sit by myself or better yet get into bed and quiet my mind and boom i can connnect with my feelings (typically somatic feelings of being abused).
4) Obviously, not engaging in drinking alcohol or overeating/undereating. Odd but the first one is easy and the 2nd is very, very difficult.
5) i try not to be so hard on myself. This might sound silly but i was the worst "slave driver" to myself!! sometimes when i can get a "perspective" i step back and push some of the items on my "to do list" to "tomorrow's to do list".
6) i share!! i call a friend and i tell them about the most recent "flashback'. just telling someone who has a reaction really helps like: "that's horrible! What kind of people were they?" It makes it "real" and it shows me that my reaction to their abuse of me was CORRECT!! i would never tell a child "He didn't mean it", "They are just teasing you!" or "just be grateful you are not your mom. Her problems are REAL problems" (my mom was a schizophrenic). As you can probably see from my statements above, my problems were my problems. I had to rely on ME, MYSELF and I which explains #1 especially when men are involved. ((NOTE: i have a magic ability to take the most functioning man and make him a child - just a fyi to be figured out by me someday!))
Looking at this list you might say: "how does avoiding drama people help WOW connect with her feelings"? it is simple, those people were distractions just like my baking/cooking/working obsession. My feelings were there but MY MIND wouldn't allow them to come forward until I took the "danger" OUT OF my life - goodbye Todd!! Janet Greeson also says that your" Central Nervous System has one agenda: STAY ALIVE!!" If you are blind to what a person really is, trust me you will find yourself RUNNING away from them without knowing why! I dated a man for 4 years, and had horrible back aches we broke up and yup the backache went away - lol from my back LITERALLY WENT AWAY!!!
I hope this helps! It has been such a rough road for me at now at 55, I finally feel "better", "more connected" somehow. By seeing the past as it "was" has made me able to see the present as it is which helps me weed out unsavory types.
