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What If Talking Really Doesn't Help?

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I can't say whether or not talking is something that's going to help me or not. It's really far too soon to tell. I've only just begun this little journey, and pretty much went at it kicking and screaming like a 2 year old freaking out about getting his hair cut. I will say, though, that I grew up in a household with a "code of silence". Where every unhealthy and potentially harmful piece of information was locked up tight, never to be spoken about again. If only out of a need of raw rebellion to defy the dysfuntional, and remove the power awarded by silence, I will talk. Sometimes courage means knowing you might fail and trying the damned thing anyway.
 
My therapist likes her clients to end therapy once they are able to have an expilicit verbal story about their traumatic experiences. There can be many tools used to get to this point. Some people have the memories stored in implicit knowledge. This is the case for me. I have not forgotten or dissociated extensive time periods. However, I am not able to write my story in either a diary or talk to my therapist about it yet. Even basic things I tend to get stuck with significant words. So my therapist allows me to use toys, sand play figures to explain some pieces.

Next we sit down and my therapist helps me scan my body to see what my body is feeling and if the feelings change if I focus on the area which has tension or if I focus on the safer areas around the tension figure. We discuss what the changes, or items can mean. And we usually end with calming features.

Talking or communicating about your trauma can be helpful if you are sharing it with other people. If you want the people to help you get out of the scenario then you have to contact "helpers." If you just want to practice telling and writing your experiences, so that you know what comes next, you can do that with a close friend or in a diary format. The listeners or readers may not be sure what you want and just give you feedback or ask questions about things that interest them.

In contrast with a trained therapist the talking is a natural process to expose the trauma. The important aspect, the reprocessing, does not that place until after the information is shared. Reprocessing can be quite creative and use a number of different media. It can involve processing feelings, debating why people may have acted the way they did. Plus you can also change the outcome of the traumatic event by having someone help you scare the perpetrator away. Police may arrive. A friend may come to rescue you. The important thing is that the victim designs this. This type of reprocessing helps the memory pass from the implicit to the explicit memory. In the explicit memory it is not stuck any longer. Now it can be recalled at will or it can be stored as a regular neutral memory.
 
I haven't found any therapist yet that can deal with trauma. Seems like nobody is really up on it here. Even so, I think it is helping me in the same way it helps to go to the gym. Sure, you can work out at home, but it helps to have a running appointment and make yourself do it.
 
The first rule of dysfunctional families is 'Don't Talk.'

In 12 Step Groups, there is a saying 'You're as sick as your secrets.'

I believe it. Especially when we're carrying the burden of others' secrets.

"...this suggests that verbalizing an emotion may activate the right ventral lateral prefrontal cortex, which then suppresses the areas of the brain that produce emotional pain.

“[In talk therapy] we tend to focus primarily on content and enhanced understandings and changed understandings,” said Lieberman. “But it’s not entirely irrelevant that they all involve putting feelings into words.”
Source: http://eqi.org/fw2.htm
 
Helpful or not helpful also depends on what you bring to the conversation and who you are talking with. There are some sick and some inept therapists out there. Be careful.

Generally, it works, or people would not do it. Taking a break from therapy once in a while is not that bad for some of us to do either. Although, overall, therapy is helpful, there "is a season" for everything. Once significant progress has been made, there is a period of leveling off, a plateau. When a plateau is reached, I believe, it's time to do some other work on the new level and with the new perspectives that have been reached. Okay, you've trained to a point, now what can you do with it? If this realization is not had, then the opportunity to really LIVE and not just talk about life, is lost. There just comes a point when we have to try something new, break out of routines, and get creative and industrious.
So my answer is, Yes, therapy is not only a good idea for people with diagnoses like PTSD, but it would benefit almost anyone, because we could all use a boost and new people are "fully conscious."
Therapy, and mental health, is defined by some as transferring the "unconscious" to the "conscious" realm. Thus, becoming more aware of self and others. None can introspect 100%, so therapy can help increase whatever percentage we are functioning at.

My personal philosophy is that The Teacher Is Always Present, or that the higher self is never totally absent, or that "god" is never totally absent. Thus, we can and should feel lead to draw a line now and then, and say, "I'm taking a break from X and going to try this new project in life with what I just learned."

This takes bravery and vision and confidence, which was developed, hopefully, during therapeutic times and is now able to be applied. But the awareness that therapy may need to be used if stuck in a rut later is not a negative; it's an awareness of the cyclic nature of life. As a toddler likes to have adventures but needs to "check in" with a safe adult now and then, so do we need to have a sanctuary. It can be counseling, therapy, or a spiritual outlet or a special relationship or place, even in our mind.

Heidi, it's possible you are angry at therapy and it's also possible this is not a season of therapeutic growth. It may be a time for action and for doing other things. All roads lead to Rome, as it were, and all efforts will ultimately lead us back to ourselves on a deeper level whether we like that or not.
 
Maybe it isn't working because you're being re-traumatized. That's what happened to me and I ended up having horrible dissociative episodes whenever I tried to talk about it.

I found a way to process my trauma using a hidden observer. You see the trauma but from a vantage point outside your body. This prevents retraumatization yet facilitates the processing of the trauma. Best of all, I didn't dissociate!
 
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