What If This Is As Good As It Gets?

[anni]

Hi C,

Junebug really gave a lovely answer, I thought, and one which made sense to me. I'm a tad fuzzy today, and am logged on to fight my own way through the fog from being triggered the last couple of days. I'll log off and go about trying not to smear my PTSD all over anyone else's world while getting my work done, which is the best one can achieve on a 'bad' day, I think.

I was just touched by your tears, and saw in them the impact I must have had myself in others lives in the past. I'm so sorry.

I needed to respond to your 'maybe life doesn't get any better than this' concept. Your reaction to it, I mean. I don't blame you if that sounded depressing, and hurts to contemplate. If it helps to hear from a really personal perspective, I can say that for me 'it' got better. Please know that yes, the stupid thing is there, is intrusive, doesn't go away and bites me in the backside on a regular basis. BUT. I also now have MANY moments when I can absolutely and gratefully look around me and reinterate that phrase with a different emphasis and say 'Life doesn't get better than this.'.

That sounds so hokey and greeting-cardish that I hesitate to write it but I swear it is true. Mine is not combat or C-PTSD so perhaps the progress of healing is not the same, I do not know? It's just that for all the times of dreck, now, there really are an awful lot of moments where the fight has been more than worth it.

Please take care,

Anni

 

[CCurry]

Thanks guys for taking your time to respond to my post....and so sorry Anni that you're still having to fight off being triggered a couple of days ago. I really can't imagine that feeling, I can only voice my feelings from a carer's perspective.

Paloma- this is the first time that I've heard of that modality, 'Dialectical Behavioural Therpapy' but I do remember that my bf spent much time meditating before his relapse and that seemed to help keep his symptoms at bay. I suggested that he try to get back to it but said that he's had trouble getting into that zone.

Since its been established that I am his trigger I actually took a chance and emailed his therapist and asked her if there was anything I can do from my end to help? She did email me back and said that I should continue with my own therapy and that his symptoms are so severe that there is no way to hurry this up and that if there was anything that I can do she would pull me into one of his sessions. I am grateful that he is willing to allow me to come along with him to his sessions.