Charbella
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I don’t know why this is suddenly bugging me but it is so I thought I’d ask. As a kid when things were happening with CSA I could disconnect from my body. Generally I did that by attempting to become whatever I was staring at like a tree or whatever. I was still aware of sounds but I didn’t feel anything and the sounds did seem further away. I can still do it but it requires way more thought. My T said this isn’t dissociation because dissociation is not a voluntary process.
In EMDR my T asked me about my vantage point when I’m going into the memory and I told him sometimes it’s happening to me and sometimes I’m watching it happen. This is not a choice it just is. Later he said that I must’ve dissociated and that’s why the multiple ways of seeing it.
I guess I can’t say both didn’t happen as I am not 100% sure. But I know that during most of the memories I have I did chose to become the dot, I also know that when recalling these memories there are times when my vantage point changes.
So those with experience with dissociation. What do you think?
In EMDR my T asked me about my vantage point when I’m going into the memory and I told him sometimes it’s happening to me and sometimes I’m watching it happen. This is not a choice it just is. Later he said that I must’ve dissociated and that’s why the multiple ways of seeing it.
I guess I can’t say both didn’t happen as I am not 100% sure. But I know that during most of the memories I have I did chose to become the dot, I also know that when recalling these memories there are times when my vantage point changes.
So those with experience with dissociation. What do you think?