What is hypervigilance like for you?

[UnKnown-Self]

It depends...
Sometimes its like moving quickly, making snap decisions and acting on them. Everything seems so clear and my focus is removing myself from danger.

Other times it’s waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Except it feels like a bomb is going to drop instead of a shoe. I’m jumpy and totally unfocused because I can’t remove myself, the danger is totally unknown and all I can do is wait.

Both ways, there is a kind of physical vibration running through me.

 

[UnKnown-Self]

I just read the replies and yes, I can remember hearing the key turning and the chambers slamming down like hammers as my father locked the door for the night. To this day I have a thing about hearing locks and making sure locks are secure.
Clock ticking will keep me awake. I can’t un-hear it.
Water dripping is maddening, I must find the drip and stop it.
Footsteps: I can tell anyone in my family by the sound of their footsteps. Hearing footsteps on stairs or creaky floorboards will quickly send me to a hypervigellent/triggery place and there is no sleep if it happens while or right before I go to sleep.

 

[Stephernovas]

I'm so incredibly aware. My phone is always in my back pocket (charged), car keys in my right, and most likely my debit card/anything else important in the situation in my left pocket. If possible, shoes are on (likely wearing something practical or easy to slip out of so I can run barefoot) or, I am aware of where I've placed them for quick access. I watch everyone in the room - behaviours and things they say. and where they place things. Especially if there's something helpful to note (i.e. lock for the backdoor). You'll never find my stuff just 'laying around'. It's always neatly tucked away, or there is nothing of mine around (or I don't care about leaving it behind).

You know, in writing this, it all seems crazy but it's saved my neck a few times. I recall one occasion where I was out with an older lady from work (I was young at the time and thought I was cool). We were out having a few drinks, and I was pretty well into them (enough to where my judgement was severely impaired). In saying that, I'm usually pretty intuitive, so I stopped drinking at that point, BUT, that didn't stop me from making the dumb decision to get into a vehicle with her. I should have assessed the situation better and realized how intoxicated she was, but did not. Thankfully we made it to our destination safely (on the way I started realizing how drunk so was, and suddenly it was like my hypervigilence went into supermode and my focus heightened. I vaguely remember helping her steer. Anyways, we arrived at her friends house, or a guy's house who was a friend of her friends? I can't remember. BUT, this was where these older men offered us drinks. My co-worker accepted, and agreed they should get one for me as well. I was polite, but silent. We sat in the living room chatting, when I noticed them taking a very long time to pour two simple drinks - hypervigilence radar on extreme alert now. One of the other ladies noticed this too, and shouted to them. Soon after they came in and my co-worker casually drank hers, while I faked a sip. I never drank mine. A short while later I basically had to carry my co-worker out of this man's home. I think at that point we got a ride or cabbed it to her house. I helped her to her room where she passed out for the night. After a few hours, which carried all the way into the following day, she had to stay in bed because she could not move a single muscle in her body. I remember her telling me she figured they must've tried to drug us - successfully with her.

It wasn't until my car accident where I started getting startled and distressed too. For the most part, I'm simply very, very, very watchful and constantly prepared. If there's ever a crisis situation that goes down (such as a zombie apocalypse or some form of danger) stay with me if you want live.

 

[Beekeeper]

I'm trying to understand hypervigilance more and how it applies to me. The typical hypervigilance you...

For me it is not externally obvious to others or even to me but ticks in the background and can launch me by surprise into fight / flight response. It evidences as follows
- Hypersensitivity in my interactions with people, especially friends and family, with acute sensitivity to anything that I may perceive as an attempt to hurt or control me
- Strong startle reaction to any perceived threat from an individual, that can trigger me going into defensive attack mode (usually email/text rather than verbal face-to-face) and then retreat/isolation from that person (I have cut off many friendships like this)
- Isolating myself from places or people (in particular people) that I perceive as threatening
- Inability to sleep due to heightened state of anxiety / awareness
- Disturbed dreams when eventually I do sleep, that wake me up again
- Use of alcohol to numb feelings / calm myself down / get some sleep
- Flashbacks to previous traumas and fear of repeat or feeling that it is all about to happen again (which in turn feeds the hypervigilance)

Hope this helps

 

[provencepearl]

I am super sensitive to noise. Ear plugs don't help. Headphones don't help. Walls don't help.

Was staying at a hostel. Had problems with housekeepers putting radio on full blast in kitchen. This is where all the guests go to prepare food, eat, and socialize.

I went to desk clerks to request an accommodation. I was treated very shabbily, as if I am making it up or trying to make trouble. They not only refused to attempt any kind of accommodation, they told me if I wanted to wait in the lobby I would be subject to THEIR loud music (they were not playing music at any time I was in the lobby).

Many places today require those listening to electronic devices to use headphones. This is a reasonable accommodation. Was I out of line? I had to leave and go to library. Will run out of internet time soon and am stuck until 10 pm tonight. Need safe and quiet place and library closes at 7 pm.

I would like to contact the administration for all these hostels and request they provide a training (askjan??) for ALL employees on interacting with disabled persons and reasonable accommodations. Do the trainings have ways to have participants experience what it is like for various disabilities, especially the invisible disabilities? If people experienced sound the way we do, surely they would be more willing to grant simple accommodations like this.

 

[EveHarrington]

I think it's important to note the difference between hypervigilance and hypersensitivity.

Hypervigilance is having a heightened sense of awareness of our surroundings. Hypersensitivity is having an increased reaction to our surroundings (sight i.e. light, sound i.e. volume or certain tones/frequency, feeling i.e. pressure, temperature, etc, and so on.)

Someone with ptsd can have hypervigilance, hypersensitivity, both, or neither.

 

[provencepearl]

you don't sound crazy. i look for hidden meanings in people's words too. i am always trying to read p...

Yes, I become hyper vigilant about people demanding too much personal information. There is so much ID theft. I am at the point I don't like people even asking my name.

I did not feel I was at all hypervigilant, because I do not scream (that would be more dangerous), and I...

I developed this. (hearing sounds louder than others and from a distance or through walls, etc) I thought it was something called hyperacusis and related to the auditory processing disorder I have. But hearing tests show pretty much normal hearing. So it must be the ptsd. I did not know this was part of ptsd. I am thankful for this forum and the opportunity to learn more about my condition.

Has anyone found a way to "turn off" the part of the brain that hears these quiet sounds, even through walls, etc?

 

[Go Hungry]

My hypervigilance is much less now that it used to be.. (the deathwish doesn't help). I no longer walk around armed to the teeth. But I still listen carefully for any shift in the tone of someone's voice, look for any change in facial expression, suspect any stranger who so much as smiles at me. If I hear laughter in the room I no longer -know- that they are laughing and mocking at me.

The reason is that I realized that most people have their heads so far up their own asses that they never even notice me. I do find myself always trying to hide though.. always placing a solid object between me and people's line of sight. I walk so silently that I often frighten people who don't see me coming. I am a Lurker, lol.

I often notice things that other people don't.. tiny sounds and little details. My reflexes are so highly tuned that I sometimes catch things that people drop, and once stepped in front of an oncoming bus, grabbed a girl by the shoulder, and JUMPED my way back to the sidewalk (about 10 feet away) before the bus hit her. I felt the wind of it's passing blowing my hair around..

But I swear I could hear a ghost whisper in the street if it was about me.

Another thing I've heard is that victims of physical abusers are often paranoid around everyone, all the time, regardless of body language. Simply because physical abusers just attack out of the blue, acting completely nonchalant as the draw closer because they don't want you to get away... So to victims, any facial expression other than 'ecstatically happy' is the same as 'murderously angry'. Though my brother would sometimes act happy and jovial so he could get within striking range.

 

[Kopykat]

For me it’s like seeing everything at once, like in my peripheral and all around. I can be talking to you but I’m listening to other things too. I’m tense. I’m imagining a million scenarios that can happen before they do and how to react even though they don’t happen. My eyes are constantly scanning the area, if I perceive a threat I analyze the crap out of it or leave. I tighten up all my muscles and for whatever reason I don’t breathe. I’ve been told by several people when I go into that mode I just don’t breathe. I feel ready for a fight. It is hard to explain to people who don’t experience it. I can listen to you while scanning a room or what not but there are times I switch to survivor mode and quit talking and just act. I do what I feel I need to to be able to survive that moment. It can be very tiring.

 

[honeypie058]

Hypervigilance for me is like walking eggshells, waiting for a conflict to happen. I can't completely relax even though my environment is ok. Feel claustrophobic when people are behind me and being large crowds. Even hugs from my kids are unbearable when I'm feeling like this. It makes sad that I can't let my girls hug me. I react to hypervigilance by becoming really irritable.

 

[white hyacinth]

Yes, I become hyper vigilant about people demanding too much personal information. There is so m...

i don't like giving people my name either haha. i usually give strangers a fake name. i thought that was just me.

 

[BM2A]

I wake up randomly very hypervigilant which then becomes hypersensitive. Its like ive been in a fairground all night on crack when I have nightmares. Its a physical vibration and a mental over awareness. Sometimes it seems protective but other times its so strong i just need it all to stop, dampen down somehow.

In the midst of that state any triggers/flashbacks can send me out of control.

Its not always like that. Sometimes its less bad, sometimes it passes. But in times of extreme hyper vigilance that last too long then I need monitoring, because it will eventually lead to self destruct for me.