What Is On Your Mind Right This Second?

[Rani G2]

Others judgement is not my deletion. Why does it feel as if it’s unconquerable? Why do I need to see myself through their eyes? My very existence is doomed if they throw me out, if they leave me behind with NO MERCY. Their mercy is not given, their attention is not there.

Give up the fight,

 

[Ronin]

Others judgement is not my deletion. Why does it feel as if it’s unconquerable? My very existence is doomed if they throw me out, if they leave me behind with NO MERCY.

Give up the fight,

This, right in what you said. It's inconquerable because you're spending so much energy on a wrong battlefield, let alone targets.

That kicking simple reactions interpreted as rejection up to survival level, and then deciding it can't be won... is of course exhausting. Cyclical. Massively derailing days.

That battle doesn’t need be won with others. Only in your head and heart. In not being stressed by others so much... because you don't need to compare value to them / compete.

Depend on others for self value and you'll always lose.

So no... don't give up THE fight. Give up THAT one. Or rather... redirect it.

 

[Rani G2]

That battle doesn’t need be won with others. Only in your head and heart. In not being stressed by others so much... because you don't need to compare value to them / compete.

Yo @Ronin... Readjusting 24/7.. Yes Ratio knows well... throwing around/analyzing. „Tell it to my heart“ style.
Done the work and still Doing.

It’s like these words from a song...
Don't get your feelings broken for nothin'
Maybe I'm leavin'
Leavin' here with nothin'

I know the rules, like I said, I‘m convincing my heart.. wherever it is.
Thank you @Ronin.. Your words catch my eye always

 

[Rani G2]

I must erase a few people - They will not be anymore - It feels (I am beginning to dislike this word) Like dissolving...

 

[Mee]

This is so petty- but I am so sad that the OA has been cancelled. I really liked that show. It’s rare I like a show that much :(. There are so many shows of similar veins and this one was different from much else.

 

[Rani G2]

Chest pain due to Grief, every wave hitting me harder. People who left, inability to build relationships, this country not being my home and never being one! I am in the darkest ‚ feels,. I feel I must go

 

[Tinyflame]

:hug: 's , @Rani G . :(

It's hard to manage other's pain when you I have my own.
It takes a decision to hide my own & not react to them.
Read about some wacko, or fraud, causing stress. So much stress is caused by others. It may seem small, but for some it's the straw and the camel.
I am not expecting or needing what other's do, but I need things others don't. I am very low maintenance in common ways, and very high in less common ones.
Was going to say something else, but deleted.

 

[Mee]

I wish I were a good artist. I want to be able to paint a decent mural on a wall but it would look dreadful if I tried ?

 

[DharmaGirl]

I don't have to feel shame for having a differing opinion, or for being a kind person who looks for the middle road. There was a song lyric that went, "only kindness matters in the end". I really believe that.

 

[Mee]

I don't have to feel shame for having a differing opinion, or for being a kind person who looks for the middle road. There was a song lyric that went, "only kindness matters in the end". I really believe that.

I believe different opinions are what keeps a society healthy. Like different colours of peppered moths exemplified survival of the fittest in changing environments- different opinions and freedom to follow them where they harm no one and nothing else might result in survival of a species.

 

[Ronin]

@Mee, but them improvised spontaneous murals make the best art! And things that don't look like belonging to that scenery / backround is wrong & the forefront TOO make for the best photos.

All that to say, Go Mee Go. :tup:

@Rani G I know grief sinks everything so hard, and feels solid anchors like home just aren't there & never will be... It's a feeling.

You have a job someone needs you at every day, likely a favorite place to cook for / at / shop at / frequent, places you do groceries and greet the cashier every time, places to sit at when you feel lonely, corners you just haaate because the traffic there / scent of them / air in them / who else goes there / who looks like they like it are just aaawful. You got people you smile at, and people that couldn't get your smile even if they brought you the sun and all the stars. You got pets roaming about that guide well, brighten the day, or watch out for you. You got *you*.

Home and belonging is a feeling, where it feels odd may as well be home too... and that doesn’t cancel the belonging.

Just that it's a home you weren't born and raised at, and hate now. But still a home.

Other route to that...
So what brings yourhome to that home? ;)

I got shitton African masks & memorabilia in mine, and a million of baseball caps that I just wouldn't even wear because I don't even *like* baseball, things like that. Doesn't matter it's stereotypical and I'm all C'mon that's lame about, when anyone else does it. It's pieces of homes with me. Mine. Doesn't matter where.

Same works even when backpacking. Shoe laces reminding me of big bro come with me. He does, too. Doesn't matter how long he's been gone. It's heart spaces not left & kept that do the trick.

 

[Rani G2]

He does, too. Doesn't matter how long he's been gone. It's heart spaces not left & kept that do the trick.

A thing to think about @Ronin, and these routes are now becoming more visible. Thanks.

C'mon that's lame about, when anyone else does it. It's pieces of homes with me. Mine. Doesn't matter where.

Rings true to me!

just aren't there & never will be... It's a feeling.

Yeah man, I thought I‘m so sly when it comes to concealing the feel grounds, best available concrete, and then one slip, I‘m back on the same old territory.