What Is The Exact Point Of Living?

[Philippa]

Wow! How negative is that? For me there is so much more ( and less) I got married, discovered I was infertile = no family. But so? I love my life. I continue to study. I have extended family that want me in their life. I have a happy marriage.

I don't really see the Original Poster's analysis as "negative" so much as an accurate description of what we are sold, as a society, to being what life is all about!

If you think about it, this is what we are told from the moment we can understand, that is in store for us, and the reason why we have to go through the education system. We are all placed on a conveyor belt from the moment we are born. Headed towards a prescribed series of events. That's not negative, that's reality.

The original poster isn't saying they don't love their life because of it, just that everything seems so neatly sorted out for us before we've even finished school. I've often felt the exact same way and can see clearly the way everything is set out for us so we don't feel like we have any other choice but to follow suit...because everyone else is doing it. Go to school, go to uni, get a degree, to get a "good job", get married, have babies, then die. It's pretty much what we do isn't it?

I saw nothing negative in what was said, and many people find that life to be satisfying. They also don't ever consider that they don't necessarily HAVE to do things that way, because it's just what is considered 'normal', and everyone around them is doing it, so they do too.

Not everyone has to get married or have kids. It doesn't mean they can't have an equally happy life, and nor does it mean that because a person does live that prescribed life, that they must not be happy. It does mean that many people don't necessarily know why they are getting married, having kids and working in a dumb job they hate though...they're just doing it because that's what they have been programmed to do.

 

[Philippa]

To have a go at answering the Original posters question though, I'd say that the exact point of living is...to live and grow!

There is really not much else to it, but we make it so complicated. We don't have to do more in life than just BE here, but humans have a need to "make something of themselves" in order to prove to their parents, or themselves that they are somebody, when they already ARE somebody, and we all have inherent worth, just because we are ALIVE! Animals don't do anything but what they do, do they? They don't lie around in the sahara contemplating why they are here...they just ARE!

A bee doesn't have an existential crisis. It just knows it's purpose is to find pollen and make honey. Humans feel like they have to have a purpose beyond just existing. I don't think they do, but the way we seem to operate is that we need another purpose in order to steer away from feeling depressed. We seem to need to feel like we are making a difference in some way, but really, just being here is enough.

I think the work of Allan Watts might appeal to you Alitaram.

The point of travel is to broaden our horizons and learn from other cultures, and to also gain a perspective about our own country and the culture we grew up in. It helps with appreciating where we came from and where others come from.

the point of dinner parties is to enjoy friends company! Not much else to it really. Just enjoy.

The point in majors is to earn a degree that you think you need to be valid as a human being in this society. It's a lie! People who haven't earned a degree are not "idiots".

Many people who have "made it" in the world and made lots of money, didn't even finish school, and many people with degrees end up driving cabs and cleaning buildings to pay off their piece of paper that announces their intelligence and validity as humans to the rest of the world.

It's all a lie!

 

[Thinkingman85]

I think the point of living is to enjoy it. Scientifically, it's to have kids, a job, make the world a better place, blah, blah.... Survive and reproduce. I'm just as stuck as you are. I see life like an ocean and we have to swim to stay above water. Meanwhile, we have to somehow enjoy that our head is above water and we can experience life. Then, when we're too tired to swim, we sink and die. It's about decieving yourself to believe that life is all worth it and the universe isn't working against you. I wish I had a more positive answer because I'm messed up over this dilemma also and noone can give me an answer.

 

[NarcSis]

I realize in this existence after trauma that I only thought I had a life when I was working, it turns out, I was so out of touch with LIVING and LIFE around me that I was shut off to it. Now, I long to feel it again. I agree with you about the whole philosophy - what is the point of education if you can't use it - I've got degrees and can't get a new job and now it seems the more I know, the more pity I feel for the world in general.

I have vowed not to lose touch with LIFE and what it means to Me. This is the key, find your passion, look hard, look deep, it's there, something that gives you that "aha" moment. I have to work to get the money I need to get closer to that life. It's odd to say it, but I need money to get away from people - one day, I'll get there but right now, with no income, I AM away from people and I have time to LIVE, so I'm going to do it.

Life is yours to live, in the way that best pleases You - it's not about other people, it's about YOUR happiness. Dig deep and find it, there has to be something, however small.

 

[xena21]

I am not telling you - or anyone else to be happy. What I am trying to get across is that you can be happy despite a life of adversity.

Sorry I wasn't trying to be aggressive toward you, but in your original post it just seemed so Polyanna and just smile and be happy and you will be. I have tried the "fake it til you make it" method many times when things were so bad I had nothing left to lose. Even that did nothing to help me in the end.

What I meant to imply was that some people have tried the positive approach that you offer. I agree that definitely is the first line of thinking. I tried it myself for many years. I thought good thoughts and prayed that good things would happen. I tried to work through my past in my own way by working out endlessly, and doing the things in life that I thought would bring the greatest good to the world. In the end my positive outlook on life overwhelmed me. I never lost faith in God, but I lost my hope in life. I lost my job and I lost every hope in human beings to be what I thought they were.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

OHHHHH!

My good friend told me this.

She uses her realism as a guise for pessimism. She's a staunch realist, and so am I. But, it got me thinking that yes, I do it too! I realize I can still be a realist AND be positive. It's not like I'm turning into Pollyanna anytime soon!

 

[Philippa]

I think the point of living is to enjoy it.

That's something I can agree with. It's a simple purpose really.

I see life like an ocean and we have to swim to stay above water. Meanwhile, we have to somehow enjoy that our head is above water and we can experience life. Then, when we're too tired to swim, we sink and die. It's about decieving yourself to believe that life is all worth it and the universe isn't working against you. I wish I had a more positive answer because I'm messed up over this dilemma also and noone can give me an answer.

I do firmly believe that the universe is conspiring to help me, you just have to be able to trust that it is, when you cannot see what is going on behind the scenes, and that can be the hardest part for many people.

Even when things go wrong, eventually it is all good, and you learn so much from the pain and bad stuff. It's a shame we have to suffer and go through it all, but often more wisdom and learning comes from the hard stuff, than the positive things in life.

I have to say though, that I used to think that suffering was just a part of life that everyone had to go through, but then I went through so much that it felt like I had suffered more than I was supposed to, and when I think of people who have endured so much as kids, it throws my theory out the window, because so much of it seems so pointless, other than it strengthens them as people eventually, and their lesson becomes how to overcome fear and learn to trust again, which is profoundly difficult obviously.

 

[heidi]

Pre- PTSD I don't think it is a difficult question to answer. Having PTSD I don't know..

I just keep trying to make it tolerable. Maybe the effort will cumulative into a period of years that I have been alive. If I ask myself if I'm glad I've been alive during this time it depends. I wouldn't have minded dying before I ever got to experience any of this. But beyond that point I think I am glad I stayed alive though I'm not completely sure. The other day I looked at my cat curled up and he was so cute it made me feel illuminated from the inside. It was also in the complete midst of a PTSD attack.

It's very frustrating because all the thing I love are right there but it's as if I'm behind a fence from it. I'm glad I stayed alive during this period because being alive is a rare and pretty miraculous thing and in a way it's mine. Or it should be mine to enjoy but it's not. But at times it is.

So I think the meaning of life with PTSD is to try to make it tolerable so that you can find the type of meaning that is your right to find.

 

[xena21]

So I think the meaning of life with PTSD is to try to make it tolerable so that you can find the type of meaning that is your right to find.

That seems sad to me, but I can relate. It is how I feel in many ways too. Making life "tolerable" is just a sad way to live.

 

[Thinkingman85]

I do firmly believe that the universe is conspiring to help me, you just have to be able to trust that it is, when you cannot see what is going on behind the scenes, and that can be the hardest part for many people.

Sometimes, I can sense glimmers of light. I used to feel like the universe was working for me. It was simply a normal life. However, my dilemma is that I may have gone through so much that I am unable to completely recover. The universe may be like a boulder. If you stay connected with the positive aspect of life and get it moving, anything in the way will be overrun. Still, my goal is just to feel healthy overall. With health (mentally and physically) comes confidence and the DESIRE to continue.

 

[Philippa]

Yes, I was the same Thinkingman85. I once had a very normal life, so I'm lucky to have known that. I do think recovery is possible, and PTSD can simply fade or not affect the person as much eventually, but it does take a lot of time. I am definitely weaker than I used to be, which I hate. Re-building myself from the ground up is painstakingly time consuming, and in the meantime, life passes by.

I am taking up pilates to develop core strength, on the advice of two women whom I think have my best interests at heart, as that is a way to release the anger and rage I hold towards my parents, and let go of victim consciousness once and for all. I want my power back. It starts with the body. If you have a strong body, the mind mimics that, and if you are healthy in body you will also be healthier in mind. That's where to start.