What is therapy supposed to do?

[Deleted member 42783]

@Nessa7
I thought the question was overwhelming too and maybe I'm reading too much into it. Maybe I'll come up with two lists. One for short term goals and one long term goals. I'll whip out the right one when I get clarification next week and hide the other in the couch cushions.

@UnicornSightings If it's a comfy couch, I can take a nap while he stares at me.

I wonder how long he would stare at me before he cracked? Hmmmmm. I won't crack because I can't even look at him. I swear, sometimes all I can think of is ways to mess with him. I wish that counted as productive.

 

[Deleted member 37474]

This is why I really like my new therapist . We are eventually doing emdr. I told her that I am not ready and that I don't trust her. Also told her that when I tried to access my "happy place" at the end of a flashback it turned gray and melted away. She gave me advice on that, reframed a lot of my thinking on abandonment stuff. But still added in another technique to help bring down my SUDs level. So I guess stabilization it is for us. My old T wanted the list of goals. I like this way better. I like feeling in control but also guided and cared about.

 

[Deleted member 42783]

@TexCat
And Im guessing that your T is a trauma T? Which makes all the difference. I feel like since I had my first real suicidal moment last week, he wants to send me away for intensive therapy to get stabilized. But it's like expecting other therapists to do the heavy lifting and the. I'm supposed to come back to him with my list of wants, all stable and docile. When, what really should happen is that he should be helping to ground me and be giving me tools to keep myself stable in the first place. The more I read around here. The more I think I need to switch Ts.

 

[Deleted member 37474]

@TexCat
And Im guessing that your T is a trauma T? Which makes all the differen...

Probably so. It turns out my old T said she does trauma... um, not really. My new T said that she and one other T usually handle all the trauma stuff. I am a bit upset about that.

 

[UnicornSightings]

@Nessa7
I thought the question was overwhelming too and maybe I'm reading too mu...

Haha I really want to mess with mine as well sometimes. Figure it's a transference thing. Too funny. I do sometimes give her the silent treatment before I remember I'm an adult hahaha

I REALLY don't understand why, at the very first session, they don't say "welcome to therapy! Let me tell you exactly how this works and why as well as things to watch for". Would that be SO hard?!! ;)

 

[Lee2001]

Thanks for this post! I totally understand about feeling a bit lost in therapy. I like what you all shared and I will be making a list of what is truly affecting Day to day life. I will also make a long term goal list. I am starting to see how being in therapy for a while gets clouded as far as what's really getting done? I know there is small progress but I think it's a challenge for all of the hard work.

 

[RoadtoHappy]

I have a great T and we have made alot of progress but I find sometimes I just want her to give me the answer. She always says 'we' and 'lets d this together' or 'we need to do this' and Im like once I leave the office its just me. Ans then I forget some of the stuff we discussed or suggested I try and I dont know how to it. Especially when she says we are processing, sometimes Im like how do I do that, how do I process, what do I need to do, its so confusing. We haven't done EMDR yet, she has suggested we do exposure for my OCD but not for the trauma, I wonder is that because my anxiety still sky rockets when we talk about it and she sees me as unstable? I dont know. Its all so tough and mind boggling at times but for me I guess its working and Im processing without knowing it as I can see some changes in me.

I have a great T and we have made alot of progress but I find sometimes I just want her to give me...

I wish my flag would come up as Irish and not British :) :) Not that I am too concerned I just like the colors of my flag :) ): !!!!!!!

 

[Emotional girl]

I went into therapy because I have PTSD because of incident that I had seen on a train so I started EMDR but as we were working on things it became more apparent that I had other issues going on which lead to my prognosis of CPTD.
Since the EMDR didn't work for me I changed to doing CBT course in childhood trauma and I have learnt so much about myself and I now understand about my relationships with other people but also about the relationship with myself.
I have also learnt that this is something I have had all my life and that I just can't just change things over night and it is probably something that I will have to live with forever but it is how I do that,I can either go back to how I was at the start of therapy or I can try and let people in and be more kinder to myself.
I have also learnt to love another human being in a safe and secure environment and that human being didn't hurt me.
I have learnt to be more feminine ,mindfulness and I got a tattoo.

 

[MyWillow]

My goal is to avoid, avoid, avoid. Numb works too. OR go full on and smash through it. Long ingrained habits. So yeah I really need my T to be guiding, pushing and pulling back as necessary. Thank goodness she’s getting pretty good at that.

 

[UnicornSightings]

My goal is to avoid, avoid, avoid. Numb works too. OR go full on and smash through it. Long ingrained...

Avoidance is the best!!!! Costly but fun.

 

[blackemerald1]

I need structure. So we stick to a plan. If I am off in a session because of 'life', - I tell him & if it's really bad he books another session to see how I'm coping ok & what to do about it.
We are human with all kinds of other events going on...
Goals are things we aim for but frequently miss. It doesn't mean we throw them away.
Maybe just ask your t what the goals are & come up with an achievable way to get there.
Better than being confused?

 

[mumstheword]

I have a new T. She is helping me work through all sorts of psyche injuries and is a soothing human who comforts me and guides me through the night of my wounds.

I never got to experience any soothing adults for my early life.

Lately, she is just checking in with me alot, to make sure I feel like I am the one pacing things.
She also gets me to do a lot of somatic experiencing and describing what's happening when I move out of my "window of tolerance", another thing she taught me about.
I am learning to feel safe in my body and with another human.:-)

Last week I experienced real, visceral feminine comfort and support. It strikes me now that I haven't really experienced anything quite like that before.
I really broke down and got comforted.
I was thinking wow, this is like what I always wanted from my mother.
She has an aura around her that I just find incredibly comforting.