What Made You Angry Today?

[rainy_daze]

I'll do my best to keep this vent short, I need to share though. At the doctors today, been ill for a long time, asking about how much longer the waiting will be for this "routine" operation that I need, she goes to check my referral letter... and on it I notice my friend's name. My dead murdered friend. She carries on chatting away and I said "Excuse me, I've noticed a friend's name on that letter". She gets flustered, saying she never wrote the letter, and it's standard to have a lot of someone's medical history on referral for operations forms. I said "Is it because I have PTSD?", and she replied "What?". I asked her several times, "How is the death of my friend relevant to the operation?", and eventually she conceded that it is in no way relevant at all. It's not like it said "PTSD because friends with.." There was no mention of PTSD, which I thought is maybe more understandable, given I would go under with anaesthetic and might wake up scared or something ( ? ).

So wherever I go then, I'm just the friend of that poor murdered dead girl. Strangers in the hospital admin - the suregeon doing my operation. Thanks, life, you always know how to make me feel better about the past.

It's like it is haunting me. Today I woke up and I never thought about her once. Now that is a good thing, not thinking about her - because she's dead, she's not coming back, she's no longer my best friend, because she is dead. Gone. Then I go to the doctors, and there she is. Just a name on a screen - which is all she is to other people. She was more than just a bloody name.

I felt beyond angry that her name was there, and I wasn't able to hide it; I'm polite so I managed to just grit my teeth, ask questions, but I really wanted to smash that entire office up. Break a window. Break myself.

Maybe it's a step forward, because I said to her "It's almost been X number of years since she was murdered, and it isn't relevant". I don't want to live in the past - and I don't think the NHS needs to keep adding it to every form or letter in existence. Now the vent is done, I'm not angry. I'm sad that her name is attached to mine, and I wish I had been killed instead of her. I would have taken her place any day. But to think if it had been me, and she was still alive, and one day she was doing mentally ok but physically feeling bad, and she went to the doctor only to be confronted with my name - that's upsetting. Today was really upsetting.

Thank you all for reading my rants and being here for me this past half a year! xxx!

 

[Spiderallis]

I've got insurance rage today- first I got put on a medical assembly line that didn't give a crap about the problem that's been really bothering me for months now, and today- oh today... It took all the courage I had to head into a dentist, my teeth are awful and I know it, they hurt. I get the forms filled in, wait in the lobby trying to not shake, then I get called to counter. They wanted more money that I have for the x-rays, the co-pay is absurd! I rescheduled and left. Pretty sure I'm going to cancel that... I can go to the low-income dental clinic and they'll take care of me just fine.

 

[KP the nut]

The speed at which some idiots are driving down the narrow road outside.

 

[AngelaMarie]

When I woke up and took my headphones off I heard that stupid freaking house music coming from next door. It's not real loud, but that stupid beat drives me crazy. I guess it's good they don't know what I want to stick that stereo huh?!:confused:

 

[Tessa]

Bullying and more bullying. I can't stand it anymore.

 

[p-no]

Asperger's and PTSD have both made me equally angry today!

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Husband picked today to want to go over balancing the checkbook again. He keeps on calling the bank. I get so tired of this. At least he apologized to me for hurting my feelings. I try so hard to remaind calm and reassuring but it is like we speak two different languages when he is like this. Glad I have some things to do tommorow.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I am angry that I am not feeling good and I have things to do that I usually look forward to. I do not like having my good days brought low by feeling bad.:mad:

 

[p-no]

On Friday, S. misunderstood something, laughed at me basically for it (in public!) that I did not even do (but he thought I did) and I ended up feeling embarrassed even though it was him who did not understand what happened and therefore laughed. This made me so angry today! I got mad at him for not getting it right in the first place, then at me for actually feeling embarrassed of something I did not even do. Then mad at me again another time because I only got his not getting it right only today, a day later! Darn it!

Also, I got mad at me for being the one who chose to get closer knowing very well what I'd be getting myself into! Luckily, the angriness at me has vanished realizing that 1. I did nothing wrong and 2. I know what the cause of this whole mess is and it's just what it is and has nothing to do with me in that sense. The angriness at him still flares up every other hour, so it's good Monday is a bit away and I turned my mobile off and get some time away. Sheesh.

 

[p-no]

Oh, and the removals company who didn't show. And because they didn't show, my schedule got out of hand and I didn't remember to call my friend at the time we said and later she didn't answer the phone. That last one makes me so angry at myself and my brain! I should have set an alarm and at the same time I feel so bad for having to set an alarm for not "forgetting" to call a friend I really love a lot!

 

[Traumagirl]

My physical pain.

 

[Queen Boudica]

I take my son back to school today after his immunotherapy appointment. It is lunch time. As we are walking to the office to sign him in we are walking behind the teacher who taught him last year. One of the kids goes up to this teacher and tells her that one of the other boys is bleeding. She turns round to him and tells him to go and find the teacher who is on duty in the upper quad and tell them that this kid is bleeding.

Now, this kid is bleeding, he has hurt himself, she did not even bother to ask how much he was bleeding or go to look at the kid, just tell the kid to go and find someone else as she could not be bothered. She was the nearest teacher, the teacher on duty was not visible. And she was already walking to the office so she could have gone to the child and taken him to sick bay as that is where it is.

That is exactly her attitude to my son when she was teaching him. Lazy, non-caring, put in the minimal effort possible. Such a contrast to my son's teacher this year.