What Made You Angry Today?

[Gadgie]

I got angry with myself today, I tried to do some hoovering, but the back pain stopped me from doing all that I wanted to do?

I'm getting fed up with it, as it's beginning to take over and rule my life, I think it's more frustration than anger!

 

[Friday]

@Cashew... It's a good question. I think, that this time, instead of running myself ragged trying to prepare anything in advance. I'm going to wing it for once. Simply state my position (I'm thrilled!) and wholeheartedly agree to any proposals for future sports / because I actually do, and let them ask me for anything they might need/want... Rather than stress the hell out of myself preparing everything in advance, and then still have it not matter.

It's just crazy making. In the middle of all theEx's bullshit, ongoing abuse, attempts to get TheKiddo arrested for defending himself during that abuse, yanking him out of one school and throwing him in the next without agreement, refusing him his meds, refusing to allow any kind of sports for 4 years, sending him to spend the weekend with pedophiles, and on and on and on... Yeah. IM breaking the agreement we signed about "how" to parent TheKiddo? My eyes just rolled so far back into my head I about seized :rolleyes:

<chuckling> Just gonna try not rising to the bait, for once. Nope. No fire drill. No mad rush trying to get everything prepared. No trying to bring order to chaos. Just show up, nod, smile, nod, smile.

Snort. We'll see how long this lasts for. But as trivial as this trip to court is compared to all the rest? I think I just hit my limit. Anger just morphed into Amusement.

 

[Ronin]

@FridayJones: *

(This for a 'read / understood / will be here / thinking of you / goddamn words for some mental spaces, come back, I'm talking to my friend here / ok fine, later.)

Yeah as usual when I don't have words, it's some question: Any way to turn all the meantimes in a series of victories, then? Something to do while waiting, so the wait is bringing satisfaction action, preventing amusement from slipping away and despair sinking teeth in?

 

[Msarah4016]

I new so if it's not ok to post this comment please let me no, if it's to much to post. But I sadly,struggle badly with anger. And being angry.my mum,dad & brothers say Iv always been angry. My first real memory is of being angry for good reason, I know now. it's People who (well in my head) are deciding that I am a type of person or they're making judgements on what I am doing. They most probably aren't .But honestly, I struggle to hold it in. I almost hurt some1 physically with my anger ,last year ! That scared the shit out if me. Worse, my 16 yr old son was watching me. I thought he was in danger at the time. but it went way beyond protecting him & became very dangerous. If another person watching had not jumped on me..Well I don't want to think how badly /or even that I could of hurt some people.The thing was I didn't even see their faces at the end! it was just people no faces.Just people who wanted to hurt my son or me . That was 6 mths ago.I still thank that person for their split second decision to stop me.they had to pyshically jump on me to stop me. It's embarrassing & I feel huge shame over it . But it hasn't stopped it.even now I still get extremely angry. Every day I end up sounding like a Yelling about something that is morally wrong (is my usual battle)to sm1 smwhere! It's becoming normal . I hate it but seem to got straight to anger now . There's no in between. It's only started in the last year. It feels like Everyone is looking for a way to hurt me or my boys.it never stops when I'm around people. I can't seem to turn it off .I'm always defensive it leaves no room for anyone to talk to me .i try not to leave the house now. My counsellor tells me that other people that happen to come to where she works fear approaching me,bcos I look so angry. I must have a terrible expression on my face constantly when I'm out of the house..I don't remember about what I'm thinking at the time.But I know I feel on alert all the time .

 

[Msarah4016]

I think I'm asking if anyone else gets overwhelming destructively angry ?

 

[Ronin]

anyone else gets overwhelming destructively angry

Commonly.

Please check Anthony's thread, titled Dealing With Anger.

 

[Anrish]

People in the woods who look at you like "That's my way! Take the next one and don't disturb me" while I pass them...:banghead:

 

[Friday]

This motherf*cking stupid list. Link Removed

Despise. Hate. Loathe. This. List. of things that while mostly are just not useful, or don't apply, also contain the exact opposite of helpful, as in straight up harmful, while others are just f*cking insulting.

Oh... But just take out everything that is exclusive to childhood trauma! :banghead:
Oh... And fear. :mad:

Reduce 13 paragraphs to 5 sentences. Well... 2 sentences & 4 fragments. Alrighty then! Grrrrr.

1. Say to yourself: “I am having a flashback”. Flashbacks take us into a timeless part of the psyche that feels as helpless, hopeless and surrounded by danger as we were in childhood. The feelings and sensations you are experiencing are past memories that cannot hurt you now.
2. Remind yourself: “I feel afraid but I am not in danger! I am safe now, here in the present.” Remember you are now in the safety of the present, far from the danger of the past.
3. Own your right/need to have boundaries. Remind yourself that you do not have to allow anyone to mistreat you; you are free to leave dangerous situations and protest unfair behavior.
4. Speak reassuringly to the Inner Child. The child needs to know that you love her unconditionally- that she can come to you for comfort and protection when she feels lost and scared.
5. Deconstruct eternity thinking: in childhood, fear and abandonment felt endless – a safer future was unimaginable. Remember the flashback will pass as it has many times before.
6. Remind yourself that you are in an adult body with allies, skills and resources to protect you that you never had as a child. [Feeling small and little is a sure sign of a flashback]
7. Ease back into your body. Fear launches us into ‘heady’ worrying, or numbing and spacing out.
   [ i ]Gently ask your body to Relax: feel each of your major muscle groups and softly encourage them to relax. (Tightened musculature sends unnecessary danger signals to the brain)
   [ ii ] Breathe deeply and slowly. (Holding the breath also signals danger).
   [ iii ] Slow down: rushing presses the psyche’s panic button.
   [ iv ] Find a safe place to unwind and soothe yourself: wrap yourself in a blanket, hold a stuffed animal, lie down in a closet or a bath, take a nap.
   [ v ] Feel the fear in your body without reacting to it. Fear is just an energy in your body that cannot hurt you if you do not run from it or react self-destructively to it.
8. Resist the Inner Critic’s Drasticizing and Catastrophizing: [a] Use thought-stopping to halt its endless exaggeration of danger and constant planning to control the uncontrollable. Refuse to shame, hate or abandon yourself. Channel the anger of self-attack into saying NO to unfair self-criticism. Use thought-substitution to replace negative thinking with a memorised list of your qualities and accomplishments
9. Allow yourself to grieve. Flashbacks are opportunities to release old, unexpressed feelings of fear, hurt, and abandonment, and to validate – and then soothe – the child’s past experience of helplessness and hopelessness. Healthy grieving can turn our tears into self-compassion and our anger into self-protection.
10. Cultivate safe relationships and seek support. Take time alone when you need it, but don’t let shame isolate you. Feeling shame doesn’t mean you are shameful. Educate your intimates about flashbacks and ask them to help you talk and feel your way through them.
11. Learn to identify the types of triggers that lead to flashbacks. Avoid unsafe people, places, activities and triggering mental processes. Practice preventive maintenance with these steps when triggering situations are unavoidable.
12. Figure out what you are flashing back to. Flashbacks are opportunities to discover, validate and heal our wounds from past abuse and abandonment. They also point to our still unmet developmental needs and can provide motivation to get them met.
13. Be patient with a slow recovery process: it takes time in the present to become un-adrenalized, and considerable time in the future to gradually decrease the intensity, duration and frequency of flashbacks. Real recovery is a gradually progressive process [often two steps forward, one step back], not an attained salvation fantasy. Don’t beat yourself up for having a flashback

 

[Ronin]

Yep. Similar theme of anger.

I was reading some PTSD book aimed at exclusively one-time trauma, and of that also totally not tangled traumas. Pissed me off. Plenty of my 'so simple' things were tangled by other factors. Jeez, and then wonder search for care is more difficult than finding lost people on other continents. :banghead:

 

[Gadgie]

The plumber came to fix my toilet today, and what a mess he left he didn't pick up any of the rugs, and just let the water run right underneath them.

I told him that it was a wet floor shower room, but by the time if got there, they were all soaked, and they covered the floor with their muddy boot prints?

Then they left wet muddy footprints right through to the stop cock in the living room? It took me an hour to clean the place up, so yes I was a tad angry today.

 

[Ronin]

Someone I thought a friend continuing to be coercive about a job despite my numerous statements of disinterest in my participation.

Now complete with concern trolling and care baiting. Threw me, I'm really stressed as hell over it, and all around I'll follow my partner's advice: whatever gets me through the day, /alive/, and cease contact.

 

[BlackbirdSinging]

Being backed into a corner where I'm going to have to do something I physically have a hard time doing. It causes me real physical literal pain and I really don't want to do it. It's known that it's physically painful for me. I'm not able to say no. Everyone involved knows that it's physically painful for me. Everyone involved knows I can't say no. I wasn't asked. I wasn't even told. I heard it being talked about in front of me. The person talking knew I could hear them. I'm very angry.

Having someone laugh smile wink at me nudge me and deliberately bring up one of my triggers that they know about and laugh about in front of a room full of people after they had a drink. I know they know what the trigger is. I told them what it is recently. I got very angry and asked the person if they were trying to trigger me. The person kept laughing and told me it was a joke and that I shouldn't be that sensitive.