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What Makes You Angry Today?
- Post starter combatgoldfish
- Start date
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Angry today? The VA! No surprise here I know. About 2 months ago my SOB issues were getting worse and I had been having spells where I would black out or more like my field of vision would go away. I am currently having an episode now. I'm also experiencing tightness of chest. I tell my doc about it and he schedules me for stress test at the VA hosp. 1 1/2 hrs away. That should be the stress test in itself. On the way home I have another episode while driving. Blackness! Dizziness! I manage to pull over on the highway and it begins to comeback eventually, but in spots and splotchy vision.
I have the test done. They wont tell me anything. Say talk to your PCP. Next day I go in, I get the ritualistic "You're a pain in the ass vet, interrupting my coffee. How may I help you" from the clerk as well as the intake nurse. Damn...their such hateable human beings! Anyway, I tell the nurse what' happening in the middle of the waiting room with 7 other patients mind you (so much for patient privacy). She tiredly walks away and 10 minutes later calls me back and pulls my vitals. The entire time I get this inflected attitude that I am bothering her. Just the questions like..."Why did this happen?" "If you blacked out, why did you not wreck?" etc...etc...At the time my BP was 130/40 and the second round was 150/100. That's how angry I was getting.
So I see the Doc (I use this term as loosely as I can). Tell him the same thing. He says 3 things. I don't even remember what they were. Says he'll set me up for an optometry appointment and sent me on my way.
I was like WTF. I am thinking there is something neurological going on. But hey, he's the med school grad. Right?
I was so angry when I walked out of there I said I'm done with that f*cking place! I decided that aside from mental health I don't think I will go back. Everytime I think about is I get more furious. Hope writing this helps me vent.
I have the test done. They wont tell me anything. Say talk to your PCP. Next day I go in, I get the ritualistic "You're a pain in the ass vet, interrupting my coffee. How may I help you" from the clerk as well as the intake nurse. Damn...their such hateable human beings! Anyway, I tell the nurse what' happening in the middle of the waiting room with 7 other patients mind you (so much for patient privacy). She tiredly walks away and 10 minutes later calls me back and pulls my vitals. The entire time I get this inflected attitude that I am bothering her. Just the questions like..."Why did this happen?" "If you blacked out, why did you not wreck?" etc...etc...At the time my BP was 130/40 and the second round was 150/100. That's how angry I was getting.
So I see the Doc (I use this term as loosely as I can). Tell him the same thing. He says 3 things. I don't even remember what they were. Says he'll set me up for an optometry appointment and sent me on my way.
I was like WTF. I am thinking there is something neurological going on. But hey, he's the med school grad. Right?
I was so angry when I walked out of there I said I'm done with that f*cking place! I decided that aside from mental health I don't think I will go back. Everytime I think about is I get more furious. Hope writing this helps me vent.
You expect more? With the union, shitty attitudes, pure ignorance and NOT BEING IN DANGER OF BEING FIRED, they do what they want, when they want. We need to close all the VAs and issue Vets cards to go to the Drs. of their choice. I keep up my mantra of an apples to apples comparison with private care. If the taxpayers saw how they pay many times more for VA care, it would change in an nanosecond.
As it is now, the VA is a sandbox for the employees to play in.
Sarg
As it is now, the VA is a sandbox for the employees to play in.
Sarg
"Arbeit mach frei" is what should be on the front of each va building. Alot of these places are like friggin WWII concentration camps for us vets. We go there seeking help, and we jump through their hoops, and it just seems like some of those jerks just want us to go away. Its horseshit. I agree Sarg, at least with civilian dr's we have some say about our course of trearment.
I know. I know. The funny thing is, in the beginning I went there with a very jaded expectation. I was very surprised and impressed. But then I wasn't service connected. So I was paying a co-pay and my insurance was doing the rest. Once I became service connected, the way I was personally treated all changed.
Monday I make an appointment with my private physician. I'm done with them.
My dog is treated better at the vet.
Friday
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People.
Friday
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f*cking people with their stupid ass limits. I've already done the things they "would never really do...", but seem to have so much fun talking about... and I don't have the comfort of thinking I never would, or never could, or that it's not really an option. It goddamn is an option. When I want to tear someone to shreds it's not a motherf*cking metaphor. What hurts is not doing it. What hurts is the f*cking self control.
I need to back the hell away. Breathe. Chill the f*ck out. That it takes any time at all pisses me off almost as badly as the stupid f*cking people who think it's no big deal to begin with, and shouldn't take any time at all. Yeah. This f*cking takes time. Hours. Days. It's not motherf*cking laziness. I'm sorry. I am extremely busy right now not zippering the goddamn sonnuvabitch who damn well deserves a helluva lot worse than something that fast, or venting any of that rage on all available targets if I can't vent them.
I only look calm, because if I f*cking move all bets are f*cking off.
Breathing isn't working. Sit your ass down and STFU meds being needed to leash this bitch? Also on my shit list.
Rampant disapproving cocksucking high horse riding assholes, looking down their god damn nose from fairyland, can f*cking bite me.
So pissed off.
I need to back the hell away. Breathe. Chill the f*ck out. That it takes any time at all pisses me off almost as badly as the stupid f*cking people who think it's no big deal to begin with, and shouldn't take any time at all. Yeah. This f*cking takes time. Hours. Days. It's not motherf*cking laziness. I'm sorry. I am extremely busy right now not zippering the goddamn sonnuvabitch who damn well deserves a helluva lot worse than something that fast, or venting any of that rage on all available targets if I can't vent them.
I only look calm, because if I f*cking move all bets are f*cking off.
Breathing isn't working. Sit your ass down and STFU meds being needed to leash this bitch? Also on my shit list.
Rampant disapproving cocksucking high horse riding assholes, looking down their god damn nose from fairyland, can f*cking bite me.
So pissed off.
FieldArtilleryGuy
Silver Member
Amen to that.
FieldArtilleryGuy
Silver Member
Ok, this rant might be long winded. Sorry about that. This annoyance was over a year in the making so it feels that much worse now. Ok, so I had to let my play station plus and my Xbox live accounts go for a while. I don't mind, but my Xbox live still went threw somehow even though the card on it was cancelled. No problem we have over draft on my credit card. I found out last night that I can't play call of duty multiplayer without play station plus. Of the 2 the one that I would actually use is the one that we don't have. How annoying. Then I look over what is spent where and I find out that my wife spent $600 or more on pampered chef stuff. I try not to let money bother me because she does the finances. It's usually a big headache for me to even think about it, but after looking at this Idecide to look at my credit cards and now I'm just pissed off. Not just at my wife but at myself for giving in to what I knew was a bad idea.
Back up a year or so and things were fine, I made a bit less than I do now, and my wife make a lot less than she does. And our finances were fine and we did Disney vacations and road trips and had extra money. Then one day my va paperwork processes and I get bumped form 70-90% and my kids finally get added to my monthly payment. (Yay me) we payed off almost everything and our credit goes up. The wife decides to get a credit card and I simply say "I don't want one" I know how bad I am, I'll impulse buy or just be stupid. She pretty much ignores me, and the next thing I know I have a card with a 7k limit, and one with a 1.5k and 2 more that I don't even know what the limits are. Then move forward 6-10 months my wife gets a new position with a nice raise. Between the 2 of us things should be pretty awesome, but now looking at stuff my cards are pretty much maxed and I don't know what hers look like. We have a Disney trip in August just the 2 of us and everytime I turn around I hear her stressing about food or something else with that trip. I want so badly to just say "ok let's cancel it and use the money we put on it to pay down all of our card, the one we pay off we can cancel and the one with a large limit we can put up and use it as nothing more than over draft protection then when that is done we can just save up for a house" but, I know me. I love my wife and I'll let her dig us in to this hole. My first thought was "she is maxing my card and she's going to divorce me and leave me with the debt" but after thinking rationally I realize no court would leave the credit cards on a guy that has no traceable income. The VA couldn't be used for child support why would it be used for debt?
Another thing that has been weighing on me is my wife has been making comments about if I.U. Doesn't get approved or I get 100% without IU then she will make me get a job so she can stay home with the kids. I wish I could get her to understand that if I get re-rated at 100% they probably won't process an IU claim anymore. So it's starting to feel like she wants to send me out to fail. I had talked to her once about SSDI if I got IU. With that she wouldn't have to work and we could live any wear. At the time she liked that idea. Now she got mad when I put in for SSDI and said she doesn't feel good about it because she can work. I don't even know what to do or say so I am just waiting for the VA now. Sleep study is at the end of the month so I need to find out how that goes then it'll be the waiting for the va to process the claims. Another thing with if she didn't work, she could be my "care giver" I don't remember stuff, most days I don't even remember to eat. I use alarm reminders on my phone so I know when to get the kids and make them food and take my meds.
Back up a year or so and things were fine, I made a bit less than I do now, and my wife make a lot less than she does. And our finances were fine and we did Disney vacations and road trips and had extra money. Then one day my va paperwork processes and I get bumped form 70-90% and my kids finally get added to my monthly payment. (Yay me) we payed off almost everything and our credit goes up. The wife decides to get a credit card and I simply say "I don't want one" I know how bad I am, I'll impulse buy or just be stupid. She pretty much ignores me, and the next thing I know I have a card with a 7k limit, and one with a 1.5k and 2 more that I don't even know what the limits are. Then move forward 6-10 months my wife gets a new position with a nice raise. Between the 2 of us things should be pretty awesome, but now looking at stuff my cards are pretty much maxed and I don't know what hers look like. We have a Disney trip in August just the 2 of us and everytime I turn around I hear her stressing about food or something else with that trip. I want so badly to just say "ok let's cancel it and use the money we put on it to pay down all of our card, the one we pay off we can cancel and the one with a large limit we can put up and use it as nothing more than over draft protection then when that is done we can just save up for a house" but, I know me. I love my wife and I'll let her dig us in to this hole. My first thought was "she is maxing my card and she's going to divorce me and leave me with the debt" but after thinking rationally I realize no court would leave the credit cards on a guy that has no traceable income. The VA couldn't be used for child support why would it be used for debt?
Another thing that has been weighing on me is my wife has been making comments about if I.U. Doesn't get approved or I get 100% without IU then she will make me get a job so she can stay home with the kids. I wish I could get her to understand that if I get re-rated at 100% they probably won't process an IU claim anymore. So it's starting to feel like she wants to send me out to fail. I had talked to her once about SSDI if I got IU. With that she wouldn't have to work and we could live any wear. At the time she liked that idea. Now she got mad when I put in for SSDI and said she doesn't feel good about it because she can work. I don't even know what to do or say so I am just waiting for the VA now. Sleep study is at the end of the month so I need to find out how that goes then it'll be the waiting for the va to process the claims. Another thing with if she didn't work, she could be my "care giver" I don't remember stuff, most days I don't even remember to eat. I use alarm reminders on my phone so I know when to get the kids and make them food and take my meds.
Gary Snider
New Here
I am angry today. Tired from hiding from every day life. keeping the rage inside is taking every ounce of focus not to act on it.
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