DasherLost
New Here
I have had problems finding support because my PTSD problem is not the typical. My husband has CPTSD, his CPTSD not from one single event or childhood abuse, but comes from being married to a very abusive woman for many years who is really very mentally ill herself. I wont go into details of that marriage, but needless to say this woman was able to take cruelty to amazing levels.
When we got married she became very enraged and starting using the children to inflict pain on him. 5 years of legal battles in a failed legal system, a hospitalization and he finally came to the conclusion through therapy that he was never going to be able to heal without just eliminating his tormentor from his life. That in turns means just quitting trying to pursue his children and try to make them love him. The children who now are very much alienated and basically clones of their mother. Before he came to this conclusion he was like an addict willing to do whatever necessary to make her quit hurting him and make the kids love him. He financially wrecked us, and almost destroyed our marriage and all the other fun stuff that goes with being a PTSD sufferer.
So he finally just throws in the towel and accepts that he has to get away from her and the kids so he can learn to manage his ptsd and get to a point where he can be there for his kids at some point in the future. He was starting to make progress, being cognizant of his emotions, starting to want to begin to live again and stop isolating himself and destroying himself and the people around him who love him and support him.
Guess what: she suddenly dangles in front his face (less than 6 months after she went into court and lied through her teeth demanding he should only see the kids if supervised by her, this is after her denying him visitation for 2 years plus) that she is in agreement with him and the kids participating in therapy together to work towards normal visitation. None of her other behaviors have changed, she still is refusing him access to the children and she is still alienating them and refusing to allow him to be any part of their lives. And the children- well they are just cruel, mean and hateful to him whenever he does attempt to communicate with them. I have my own suspicions of what her agenda is, but they are only that suspicions.
Before even starting the therapy and having any interaction with her, he immediately begins to regress. Back to unable to avoid the compulsion of doing whatever he can to not anger her or the kids. All the behaviors are back, the isolation, the emptiness, the ear, the anxiety, the rages, the fog, the depression, the passive aggressive, all of it, and he is like a moth to a flame, he sees it happening but cant stop him from rushing towards his abusers.
I cant got through it again and I am pretty sure if he chooses this path that it will do him in.
Has anyone seen someone who can know that they are rushing towards the very thing that resulted in making them ill in the beginning, but cant stop themselves from doing it?
Dasher
When we got married she became very enraged and starting using the children to inflict pain on him. 5 years of legal battles in a failed legal system, a hospitalization and he finally came to the conclusion through therapy that he was never going to be able to heal without just eliminating his tormentor from his life. That in turns means just quitting trying to pursue his children and try to make them love him. The children who now are very much alienated and basically clones of their mother. Before he came to this conclusion he was like an addict willing to do whatever necessary to make her quit hurting him and make the kids love him. He financially wrecked us, and almost destroyed our marriage and all the other fun stuff that goes with being a PTSD sufferer.
So he finally just throws in the towel and accepts that he has to get away from her and the kids so he can learn to manage his ptsd and get to a point where he can be there for his kids at some point in the future. He was starting to make progress, being cognizant of his emotions, starting to want to begin to live again and stop isolating himself and destroying himself and the people around him who love him and support him.
Guess what: she suddenly dangles in front his face (less than 6 months after she went into court and lied through her teeth demanding he should only see the kids if supervised by her, this is after her denying him visitation for 2 years plus) that she is in agreement with him and the kids participating in therapy together to work towards normal visitation. None of her other behaviors have changed, she still is refusing him access to the children and she is still alienating them and refusing to allow him to be any part of their lives. And the children- well they are just cruel, mean and hateful to him whenever he does attempt to communicate with them. I have my own suspicions of what her agenda is, but they are only that suspicions.
Before even starting the therapy and having any interaction with her, he immediately begins to regress. Back to unable to avoid the compulsion of doing whatever he can to not anger her or the kids. All the behaviors are back, the isolation, the emptiness, the ear, the anxiety, the rages, the fog, the depression, the passive aggressive, all of it, and he is like a moth to a flame, he sees it happening but cant stop him from rushing towards his abusers.
I cant got through it again and I am pretty sure if he chooses this path that it will do him in.
Has anyone seen someone who can know that they are rushing towards the very thing that resulted in making them ill in the beginning, but cant stop themselves from doing it?
Dasher
