I'm talking about validation from others directly, or even things like recognition at work or degrees or whatever...any of that stuff outside of ourselves that helps people like me feel worth being alive.
What replaces the need for the external validation? Obviously internal validation, but what is that? Is it self acceptance? Compassion? Finding meaning? Just feeling connected to yourself? Spirituality?
I honestly want to know because I do not understand this. Luckily I'm an introvert and pretty independent, so don't need constant validation, and too often don't give a shit about what others think... but I bug my therapist too much between sessions, sometimes I need a lot of reassurance or validation...and I also feel that without my work my life is meaningless. So I am overly validated by my work and roles there. So if anything gets f*cked up at work, like even structural changes, I get so rattled and even start feeling unreal.
I have a much better attitude towards myself, but this stuff is hard to change. I'm working on meditation, trying to just feel myself as connected and okay the way I am, worthy of just enjoying life in the present...not always focused on my work and living only for my work. And also not needing so much reassurance from my therapist.
I think a lot of my need for external validation connects to my deep feelings of being invisible, unreal, horrible, and on a lighter note...just too weird. As I grew up I started isolating more and becoming generally avoidant of relationships. But somehow I still need to find ways to feel externally validated. I'm always in my head thinking I need extra degrees or extra projects at work. Just to feel like my existence is worth while.
My therapist is very patient and reminds me that I'm real. I think the meditation things I'm doing, finding things that feel meaningful, is helpful. I suppose it takes time. But what has helped others feel internally validated, or what has replaced that need for external validation if that's been an issue for you?
What replaces the need for the external validation? Obviously internal validation, but what is that? Is it self acceptance? Compassion? Finding meaning? Just feeling connected to yourself? Spirituality?
I honestly want to know because I do not understand this. Luckily I'm an introvert and pretty independent, so don't need constant validation, and too often don't give a shit about what others think... but I bug my therapist too much between sessions, sometimes I need a lot of reassurance or validation...and I also feel that without my work my life is meaningless. So I am overly validated by my work and roles there. So if anything gets f*cked up at work, like even structural changes, I get so rattled and even start feeling unreal.
I have a much better attitude towards myself, but this stuff is hard to change. I'm working on meditation, trying to just feel myself as connected and okay the way I am, worthy of just enjoying life in the present...not always focused on my work and living only for my work. And also not needing so much reassurance from my therapist.
I think a lot of my need for external validation connects to my deep feelings of being invisible, unreal, horrible, and on a lighter note...just too weird. As I grew up I started isolating more and becoming generally avoidant of relationships. But somehow I still need to find ways to feel externally validated. I'm always in my head thinking I need extra degrees or extra projects at work. Just to feel like my existence is worth while.
My therapist is very patient and reminds me that I'm real. I think the meditation things I'm doing, finding things that feel meaningful, is helpful. I suppose it takes time. But what has helped others feel internally validated, or what has replaced that need for external validation if that's been an issue for you?
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