What to do about therapy/psychiatrist

[Justmehere]

If the company doc laughs, he’s an ass. No matter what, there isn’t a magic cure and any treatment would take time to work.

I hope that you and your therapist can plan out how to learn more solid coping skills over the coming weeks. Anyone trained in EMDR should be able to do that. There are tons of resources online too. If she really is at a loss and there are not other options for therapy, perhaps you and the therapist can work through a workbook together on skills to ground between sessions and in sessions.

Don’t lose hope! :hug:

 

[EveHarrington]

no nothing like that. But have to say that first time, i didn't get into it at all. I couldn't focus,...

IMHO you’re nowhere near ready to do processing. I know there are a LOT of fly by night therapists who “do” EMDR after taking a weekend certification at the local Holiday Inn...unfortunately these people don’t learn how important it is for their clients to be safe and grounded, and have the skills to keep themselves safe. I think you unfortunately have a bad EMDR therapist. It’s their job to give you the coping skills that you need and not just do a referral for more drugs.

 

[LilyRose]

He is an ass yes. I'll try to ignore him next week.
My t isn't a bad one, she isn't a weekend warrior when it comes to emdr. She is really certified the right way.
I think my question was more about waiting to see what happens the next couple of weeks dealing on my own, and probably get referred in the end anyway because i am not sure depression goes away just like that, or just get that process started anyway with a psychiatrist... I am not on any meds right now.

 

[Abstract]

But it sounds like she hasn't checked in on your coping skills before proceeding with EMDR and she isn't open to helping you stabilise so that you can better manage EMDR in the future.

 

[LilyRose]

She is, but she thought i should check in with a psychiatrist and maybe need meds to get stabilized more first. But then she changed her mind and wants to push it back for weeks so we can try again after a few weeks without therapy.

 

[Stephernovas]

She said no emdr for now because i couldn't handle it, i couldn't handle any trauma work she said, as i am completely out of reserves. So she suggested to refer me back to the center which diagnosed me and see a psychiatrist to do more tests and get anti depressants. She thinks besides my tbi and ptsd i have a depression now too.

Well then she'd be at a loss with me, as I've been diagnosed with TBI, PTSD experiencing severe symptoms, and depression experiencing severe symptoms. I find it really strange how she is hesitant to work with you just because you may also be experiencing depression. NEWS FLASH to your therapist, depression is an element within the PTSD symptoms so as long as you have PTSD..you're going to experience depression. Perhaps she meant you're simply not ready to do EMDR? I think it's bogus how she's sending you back to the other clinic for meds or whatever. What if your choice is not to take meds? What will she do then?

edit: I meant to add in the first sentence, that I have all that and am still doing therapy just fine

 

[LilyRose]

Thanks all.
I'm going to talk to her at the next appointment and ask if she can refer me anyway and still continue therapy for now.

 

[blackemerald1]

Hey @LilyRose - I think it would be good to write down what you want to speak to her about before you go into the next session. Make a list so you can get through all of your questions.

Regarding the journal - does she want to find out what you is happening to you during the week between sessions? Is this the purpose of it? If so it might be so she can know what is happening, when it is happening and possibly why it is happening.

It really should be possible for you to continue therapy with her and be referred back to the psychiatrist for medications for depression if that is what you want to do. So getting medication should not exclude you from receiving therapy from her. In fact medication and therapy often work very well. But you won't know unless you give it a shot. The medication for depression may take quite some time, maybe months to give you any real relief and even then, only if it is the right anti-depressant. Sometimes one doesn't do the job so this needs to be monitored and or changed to find one that will do the job.

Your employer is ignorant. Therefore ignore him as much as you can. :hug:

I don't think it is really a blame or shame thing with you. You are not at fault. I hope you understand this LilyRose. Treatment for ptsd, depression and tbi take time and patience and finding the right balance in treatment (s) combinations.

I'd strongly suggest you not drink alcohol. It never helps depression or anything much really..certainly not while you are so crippled with symptoms.

If you are feeling suicidal you need to go into in-patient care immediately so please ring your doctor or emergency room and by-pass therapy and referrals. Otherwise stop drinking alcohol...it will be adding to your problems even when you believe it is helping... it won't be. Not really.

If you are not suicidal please still give up the alcohol and absolutely don't give up LilyRose. Be brave, go back and ask for some help to get you through the week and the referral to the psychiatrist for some depression medication (if that is what you want of course). :)

Good luck.

 

[LilyRose]

Hey @LilyRose - I think it would be good to write down what you want to speak t...

Making a list is a good idea.

Yes I do think that's what she wants about the journal. I am finding it hard to write it down though.

She kind of made it sound like i wouldn't see her for a while if i do get meds and i would be followed by someone else. But i don't know.

I am trying. But i find it hard as sometimes they make me feel i am doing something wrong. That is should do this right the first time or there is no hope. They're not giving me a lot of options. I had to fight to get to another regular trauma therapist instead of a treatment i am not ready for.

You are right. I don't like to drink and i don't drink daily. Sometimes days, weeks or months without. I only drink when i can't handle the anxiety or the suicidal ideation.

I do struggle with it, but i do not want to act on it. I am fighting it.

I hate meds... I don't want them. But i am kind of desperate and if they think it's better then i probably try it.

Thank you so much :hug:

 

[Abstract]

Stephernovas hit on one of the things that was niggling at me.
PTSD and depression come hand in hand. Unless you are far on or have it mildly I would guess its unusual not to have it.
Worsened struggling after EMDR usually wouldn't most importantly be depression though. Depression may worsen of course but it is usually fundamentally trauma processing. Reliving, dissociation, emotional states related to the trauma. Potential unhealthy coping. Suicidal feelings as a reaction to overwhelm about the trauma. The trauma is the core.
And as Blackemrald said meds are usually used to help continue therapy not stop it.

Yes you may need to treat your depression but what concerns me is that it seems you haven't been given anything else to help you cope with the TRAUMA symptoms. Maybe I am misunderstanding. What did your first sessions with her look like?

Questions for you:
Did she discuss having a safe place, visualisations or any other type of safety coping before starting the EMDR
Have you been taught grounding skills
Have you been taught self care skills
Did she try to find out an accurate impression of how you usually cope when overwhelmed.

Normally feeling you arnt able to cope with EMDR would mean that the t would work on improving these until you were ready. Possibly along with the meds.

 

[blackemerald1]

finding it hard to write it down thoug

Can you use your computer or start a diary here and print it out or email it to her each week? Are you faster at typing than handwriting in a book? If you are consider this as an option. It may make it easier. You could give it a go. Even a spread sheet where you just type in a few words such as the date, time, event and feeling will help her and you work through this.

But i don't know.

I don't know either @LilyRose - but time for you to advocate a little for yourself. Ask for the meds and her therapy. You deserve to be given the best treatment available and the treatment for depression is usually medication... at least until you can get on top of your other symptoms and being to manage much better. It is worth asking and stating that you want both.

had to fight to get to another regular trauma therapist instead of a treatment i am not ready for.

Then you have it in you to fight for the most appropriate treatment and you are deserving of just that.

I only drink when i can't handle the anxiety or the suicidal ideation.

This is the worst time to drink. You are self medicating with alcohol. Alcohol exacerbates depression and anxiety. I am not judging you LilyRose so please don't think I am harsh.

do struggle with it, but i do not want to act on it. I am fighting it.

I understand how you feel. I have felt the same way. Keep on fighting it. If you feel unsafe or too unwell call your Country's emergency services.

I hate meds.

I don't think I have met anyone that likes medications tbh. I'd suggest you give them a try and if they help and you can improve your management of ptsd then eventually you may be able to stop taking them. You can still hate them after they have served their purpose. :hug:

 

[LilyRose]

Stephernovas hit on one of the things that was niggling at me.
PTSD and depression come hand in hand....

I've checked and the first 2 times were more of getting to know eachother a bit, an intake. The third time was a bit of talking and 5 minutes of emdr to try it out because i was scared about the aftermath, it didn't go well with another treatment with my first therapist. So before starting treatment i was already feeling depressed and sometimes suicidal.

Answering your questions, i can only say no to all of them.