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- #25
Eleanor
Diamond Member
Hi Trina & Girl3,
Thank you for the votes of confidence! It took me a couple of days to reply because I had to wrestle down all the "but I already have a therapist/coach", "I don't have TIME!" "I'm ok. Really" type bullshit responses. The fact is that I am a full three weeks behind on my grading (I'm a teacher) and I am managing the minimum of household and child care tasks - but only just. I have retreated to the house and am reading too much for escape way too much. I'm struggling. So, right, time for me to get some help for me. (A perennial issue that my coach and I have worked on for... low, the many years. How does she stand it?)
I used to do youth education at a battered women's shelter. I could not miss the striking resemblance between the "cycle of violence" and my experience with my husband. I have been reluctant to call it "abuse" because it is so obviously involuntary and he's not getting any pleasure or satisfaction out of it, and I'm/we are not co-dependent. That being said - when someone runs over you foot with a car you take damage whether it was an accident or not. It does make me wonder about how we approach long term abusive relationships tho... and how many of them might be PTSD related... Not that people GET PTSD from abusive relationships (obviously that happens - old news) but that abusers (at least some of them) likely HAVE PTSD, and that's why its so hard to get them to stop... I don't really follow the domestic violence literature closely - but this seems like somebody should study it.
We had the first appointment with the therapist for my daughter - happily she took to the doctor right away. Usually she is reluctant to have me leave - but there - a big hug and then she went on with what she was doing!
I am hoping to get a call back from the inpatient place today...
Thank you for the votes of confidence! It took me a couple of days to reply because I had to wrestle down all the "but I already have a therapist/coach", "I don't have TIME!" "I'm ok. Really" type bullshit responses. The fact is that I am a full three weeks behind on my grading (I'm a teacher) and I am managing the minimum of household and child care tasks - but only just. I have retreated to the house and am reading too much for escape way too much. I'm struggling. So, right, time for me to get some help for me. (A perennial issue that my coach and I have worked on for... low, the many years. How does she stand it?)
I used to do youth education at a battered women's shelter. I could not miss the striking resemblance between the "cycle of violence" and my experience with my husband. I have been reluctant to call it "abuse" because it is so obviously involuntary and he's not getting any pleasure or satisfaction out of it, and I'm/we are not co-dependent. That being said - when someone runs over you foot with a car you take damage whether it was an accident or not. It does make me wonder about how we approach long term abusive relationships tho... and how many of them might be PTSD related... Not that people GET PTSD from abusive relationships (obviously that happens - old news) but that abusers (at least some of them) likely HAVE PTSD, and that's why its so hard to get them to stop... I don't really follow the domestic violence literature closely - but this seems like somebody should study it.
We had the first appointment with the therapist for my daughter - happily she took to the doctor right away. Usually she is reluctant to have me leave - but there - a big hug and then she went on with what she was doing!
I am hoping to get a call back from the inpatient place today...
