What To Do When You Lose Friend Over This.

[LisaRose]

I just got back from therapy and spent the hour talking about the one closest girlfriend I had, just went behind my back telling another male friend (who I found out, is truly my friend) what is happening in my personal life. Things I thought I could tell my closest friend.

I am crushed and angry. I had been nothing but supportive of her. She doesn't believe in PTSD. She doesn't believe how paralyzing it is. She actually made fun of me. She was a life line for me. I live far from my family.

I am so angry, I could spit tacks.

How could someone, betray someone who is in pain and having a hard time?

How is this happening?

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[Bumble-Bee18]

I really feel for you, it must be so upsetting :( These people just do not and will not even try to understand what sort of fight we have to put in just to get through the day. If she treats you like that and disregards such a severe condition then she cant be the sort of company you should keep to help you through this, I think the male friend that you said is truly your friend is the sort you need to keep around! x

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Welcome to the forum LisaRose. :)

Some people wont understand, and what they don't understand they may fear. Don't blame yourself or be angry about her reaction, that is not something you can do anything about. The only thing you can do is find and be around people who do understand. That will help you the most, and cutting out the people that hurt you when you are down is a big step ( and a hard one) but it helped me a lot towards my recovery.

Hope this helps a little.

 

[LisaRose]

Thank you for understanding and thank you for the welcome. I have cut her out starting today. I was lucky because my other male friend also has put her at bay. Its very disappointing to see the true colors of people. I just am trying to take one moment at a time.

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[wife of]

Just gently make yourself unavailable to her until such time as you feel strong enough to either sit down and graphically describe what life is like for you and that she needs to get on board or get out,or you may reach a point where you might enjoy having a friend who doesn't understand/know all there is to know ref ptsd and can provide some time away from it...

 

[Froggie]

Welcome to the forum LisaRose. One of the best things on this forum is the peer support group. This really helps when we have the feeling that the outside world sucks.

 

[LisaRose]

Today is one of those days when the outside world sucks. Life is not happening for me the way I want. I am trying so hard to get my life back. Its just not happening. When I go to the doctors, it seems the answers are some other drugs. So now I take one to sleep, one to start my day and one for bad aniexty attacks. I have never taken drugs in my life. I know 47 and never to have something wrong medically, I am truly lucky. But, this being alone, even though I live with people.

I have never been so alone in my life. I thought that this would get better. Is there anyone out there with some suggestions on how to get through the day? I must have cleaned and organized the house numerous times already.

I know its getting worse because I don't want to leave the house at all. Not even for therpy.

 

[Deaf Global Nomad]

Hi LisaRose,

Welcome to the forum (as I have not welcomed you yet).

I understand all too well what you mean by feeling alone, even if you live with people. That seems to be a trademark of PTSD, I am sorry to say. I also understand your frustration when you say you want your life back and all that doctors seem to offer is one medication after another. PTSD is a long-term deal and can affect every area of your life.

As for ideas on how to get through the day. I am not sure I am the best person to suggest things as I tend to struggle with that, too. For me when I am struggling the most my day revolves around my dog. I love him and he is my best friend. I feed him when he tells me it is breakfast and dinner time. Before bed time we have our bedtime snack of ice cream. Doggie ice cream for him and real ice cream for me.

Otherwise I spend most of my time in bed on the computer. I watch television series and movies online, documentaries when I am curious about something. I read a lot of information online about people's lives (real people with problems or medical diagnoses I can relate to). I also enjoy looking up new topics and learning about them. I usually force myself to leave the house at least once a day to run an errand or at least to go on a walk with my dog. Our errands are to one of our safe places (e.g. library, Y, grocery store, book store, therapy, doctor appt).

When my concentration is good enough, I try to work on my dissertation and other university tasks. I ran some errands at the U on Monday with the help of my ILS worker. I have all my requirements completed other than the dissertation and the defense. Luckily, there is no hurry on finishing those as I am officially on medical leave. Sometimes I dream of the future, when I am finished with my Ph.D. and look for options for then. It will take a few more years of significant therapy work to get there, but it is my version of window shopping.

If I am particularly antsy and need to move my hands, I either work in the yard or ask my neighbor if I can help her with her flowers. I have also found some activities that help with that antsiness (e.g. making tie fleece blankets, puzzles, painting, playing with clay).

I hope this helps...

 

[intothelight]

Hi LisaRose,

Welcome to the PTSD Forum. It is difficult to have this disorder and the feelings of being alone in this battle can be overwhelming sometimes; but to trust someone enough to confide in them and them have to betray that trust is extremely hurtful. The problem is not with you, but with her. To not understand PTSD is understandable, but to breach confidence is not.

I found that one of the greatest benefits of the forum was not feeling alone in this battle. The support of other members is great and invaluable in working towards healing. But, it is also important to have support and interaction with people outside of electronic media. Please don't let the rude actions of one individual hamper your contact with others.

Take care.
Debbie

 

[LisaRose]

Today is just another sad day of feeling lost and having to look like I am happy. I feel the need to look happy for others, or they can't take being with me. I already feel isolated and alone. This battle is so hard. I am going to call the doctor when he opens. Also losing my friend that I thought was my friend was alot for me to handle. Please God, help me find my way. Can anyone tell me how to post my moods?

 

[LisaRose]

Hi LisaRose,

Welcome to the forum (as I have not welcomed you yet).

I understand all too well what you mean by feeling alone, even if you live with people. That seems to be a trademark of PTSD, I am sorry to say. I also understand your frustration when you say you want your life back and all that doctors seem to offer is one medication after another. PTSD is a long-term deal and can affect every area of your life.

As for ideas on how to get through the day. I am not sure I am the best person to suggest things as I tend to struggle with that, too. For me when I am struggling the most my day revolves around my dog. I love him and he is my best friend. I feed him when he tells me it is breakfast and dinner time. Before bed time we have our bedtime snack of ice cream. Doggie ice cream for him and real ice cream for me.

Otherwise I spend most of my time in bed on the computer. I watch television series and movies online, documentaries when I am curious about something. I read a lot of information online about people's lives (real people with problems or medical diagnoses I can relate to). I also enjoy looking up new topics and learning about them. I usually force myself to leave the house at least once a day to run an errand or at least to go on a walk with my dog. Our errands are to one of our safe places (e.g. library, Y, grocery store, book store, therapy, doctor appt).

When my concentration is good enough, I try to work on my dissertation and other university tasks. I ran some errands at the U on Monday with the help of my ILS worker. I have all my requirements completed other than the dissertation and the defense. Luckily, there is no hurry on finishing those as I am officially on medical leave. Sometimes I dream of the future, when I am finished with my Ph.D. and look for options for then. It will take a few more years of significant therapy work to get there, but it is my version of window shopping.

If I am particularly antsy and need to move my hands, I either work in the yard or ask my neighbor if I can help her with her flowers. I have also found some activities that help with that antsiness (e.g. making tie fleece blankets, puzzles, painting, playing with clay).

I hope this helps...

Thank you for insight into your life. I hope that you have a good day. Thank you again for welcoming me:)
Lisa Rose

 

[LisaRose]

Hi LisaRose,

Welcome to the PTSD Forum. It is difficult to have this disorder and the feelings of being alone in this battle can be overwhelming sometimes; but to trust someone enough to confide in them and them have to betray that trust is extremely hurtful. The problem is not with you, but with her. To not understand PTSD is understandable, but to breach confidence is not.

I found that one of the greatest benefits of the forum was not feeling alone in this battle. The support of other members is great and invaluable in working towards healing. But, it is also important to have support and interaction with people outside of electronic media. Please don't let the rude actions of one individual hamper your contact with others.

Take care.
Debbie

You are making me feel welcome and I need that. I just have to get out of this feeling of being down in the dumps all the time. I am searching for that ladder out of this hole to a life of normal. Thank you again.

Lisa Rose