What To Never Say To A Ptsd Sufferer

[Red Feather]

So many women all over the world have gone through what you went through, or even worse.

 

[p-no]

My "beloved" mother: "I never beat you!"
Me: "I have 13 diaries full of you "not" beating me up etc. DO YOU WANT A COPY???"

Happened in a large shopping center and I did so not care. With regard to the thread title: Don't pretend it didn't happen.

 

[p-no]

I am extremely scared of flying (= giving up control and giving it to someone who could do just anything with it, generally speaking). When I say this, I usually get: "Statistics have it..."

Then I put on the most innocent happy face going into great detail about a friend of mine having been killed in a plane crash.

 

[p-no]

At age 13, I had collected pills to get it over with. I remember very well looking at my left hand full of white pills and it clicked in my head thinking: "I don't want to die, I do not want my life to go on like this." So I put the pills away and called Child Protective Services (State Office of Children's and Families' Services). I remember how relieved I was to get a woman on the line. I told her what had happened and what my mother had been doing to me. I told her to come take me out of my "home".

She said: "You would have to go to a children's home. Do you know what it is like there?"
I said: "I can't stay here, I can not take this anymore."
She said: "I think you're imagining life to be a lot better in a children's home that it really is. You have no idea what life is like there. It can not be worse than with your mother at home."
I could feel my hopes drifting away. I said to her again that I needed to get out and that I was aware somewhat of life in a children's home because I had a friend who was taken out from her home and put into one.
She sighed (as if heavy burdened (and I am not being sarcastic)) and then a thought hit her and she fairly enthusiastically asked: "How old are you?"
Got me confused. I said: "13."
Great sigh of relief on the other end, and no, this was not imagined. Already then did I know I had just lost any way out. She said: "Oh... (relieved) This means you are too young to talk to me. You have to have an adult call!"

This is the worst of my traumas. It is not that I don't have neglect as a newborn (and later-on), sexual abuse as a toddler (and later-on), physical and emotional abuse, etc. on my list. But this is what broke me. None of the others broke me. This one did.

 

[p-no]

My mother: "You choose the mother you want to be born to."

I can't even go into what this did to me, how much I despised her not for saying this, but for believing it.

 

[einzelganger]

When in the middle of flashbacks and body memories "Can't you just control it?"

 

[DharmaGirl]

A nurse in the inpatient psych ward said to me-you have to stop living in the past. Move on. She was supposed to be a mental health nurse. WTF???

 

[Springer80]

It would be nice if people actually did get it, but I am thinking that the only way to truly know is to be traumatized yourself; and then, statistically speaking, the odds are good that the other person would NOT develop PTSD, so then you would have to traumatize them AGAIN, and so on and so on. We just simply don't have that kind of patience, so we may as well accept it: we are IT, peeps! The only "normal" that gets me is my therapist, which is very convenient for me!

I kinda like this crazy train,,,,flip the definition on the 'normals'...they just haven'y got the vision :meh:

 

[Springer80]

'Your in a negative cycle' No S**t Sherlock!
You Like the drama' F$** You Pal.
'One in four children are sexually abused in the UK 'So!...Are you advertising?! Because that isn't anything to boast about??
'Your hard work' Piss off then, if your going to make it harder.
'You were twelve, couldn't you have done something' ' No doctor he was 3 times my weight and twice my height
'You've got to start looking forward 'WTF do you think all my waking (and subconscious) effort has been toward for the past 15yrs? Research for a play?'
'I've had enough of this' Mmm funny me too.
'It's not your period is it' Exasperation and farce rolled into one impossible level of speechlessness.
'Your in stagnation'
'You isolate yourself'

You know what....blah blah blah. :facepalm: ....I used to hear these things; scrutinise them for what I was doing wrong :confused: ; internalise it, then punish myself with it because I couldn't fit in.
Well not any-more :stop: . They didn't and still don't get it. I can raise a wry smile and know I beat the nasty 'normals'!!!

 

[Chantal]

My friend said once "He's locked up now! How can it still bother you? He can't touch you anymore!"

Oh yeah sweetheart him being locked up is really helping me! Since I still live in my brand new house where he raped me, his face is the only thing that can remind of the pain he caused! Seeing a shadow at my front door can't possibly make me paranoid! Are you kidding me?? Try closing your eyes at night only to have a nightmare and re-live it all over again!

I call it ignorance!

 

[Heidi07]

I called my mom years ago and told her that I have some mental health problems. At that time, my doctor thought that I might have Borderline( Got diagnosed with complex ptsd years later). My mom was shocked, even though she had no clue what Borderline was. She called me back and said:" I talked to dad and we have no clue where you got that from. Nobody in our family has any mental issues"

Well duhhhhhhhh, it could not have anything to do with her mentally and physically abusing me as a child?! And therefore starting a real downward spiral with more traumas for me!

My dad:" You used to be smarter". Oh thanks dad, I did not notice myself that my brain has turned into swiss cheese.

 

[Jay1486]

Don't call me babe
Don't bring me stuff that reminds me of my trauma
Don't say stuff that reminds me of my trauma
Don't just not say anything

re

A nurse in the inpatient psych ward said to me-you have to stop living in the past. Move on. She was supposed to be a mental health nurse. WTF???

Some people have no brains. I get this on a daily basis. And, I thought we were supposed to be the ones losing our brains.