What To Never Say To A Ptsd Sufferer

[Belle]

'I thought you were stronger than this'

Someone I thought was a friend said it to me and it cut very deep at the time. I can't ever forgive her.

 

[Taven Carlsen]

Oh and the real kicker,

"I went through X trauma and I got over it, look at me, I'm fine so I don't get why you're not getting better."

- not even going to dignify that with a response. Grrrrrrrr.

IME those are the ones who will never get over anything, themselves.

 

[Taven Carlsen]

See this is the kind of stuff, when I was going through The Crazy Times, I would never say anything like this. As if everyone were (potentially) in the same spot I was. I couldn't take the chance of being a hypocrite and committing such stupid offenses as the above. It's somewhat absurd way to act but, well, we can all see why I do that.

 

[Yzeal]

From the one who caused it: "But, I apologized!"

Riiiiiiiiight, because apologizing fixes what you've done to my head. Dude, if I could pick up what you did, take it out of my head, put it in YOURS, and then apologize and say "There, it's fixed because I apologized," you'd see why what you just said was absolutely stupid.

 

[stuff]

"I think you like being this way."

Worst possible thing you can ever hear when you fight every day just to be here. If I could get away from these feelings I would be in a rocket ship six plants over. Feeling suicidal comes from having these horrible feelings hit you out of the blue and not ever wanting to have to be this way again.

 

[LawPhotos]

"you just need to relax"-sorry my nervous system is shot, and my body hates me, and if I could do this I would retard.

Thematrix, I don't want to start anything here, but this is a thread specifically aimed at pointing out the insensitivity and lack of understanding and compassion others have to those of us suffering from PTSD. As the parent of a disabled child I have to say that I find your use of the word "retard" as a derogatory slur patently offensive not to mention hypocritical given the topic. I hope that I have simply misunderstood what you wrote in your post.

 

[Helliepig]

" Yes I thought you might react a bit like this" ( so now we're predicting my certifiable looniness?? )

"relationships aren't perfect you know" - yes, I think i know that, coming from a dysfunctional family and being old enough to have worked it out for myself, thankyou.

"I'd like a bit of time to myself" . Yes so do I. But it would be nice to have the choice not to be alone. Constantly

 

[Kati]

Wow, where to begin.

1. "oh my goodness - look how busy this place is!" as we pull into a parking lot (I am afraid of being around people and have panic attacks...)
2. You know if we just keep coming up behind you, you will get used to it and it will not affect you anymore... (yep - this is THE cure.....)
3. But 1SG's don't get PTSD.....

 

[angel2write]

"Oh, I totally understand what you're going through, because I (fill in the blank with some mild symptom). The way I deal with it is (take melatonin, meditate before bed, take a hot bath, just "chill", or watch a funny movie.) You should try that, too!"

Oh, or see their chiropractor. Or get my nails done. Or spend more time doing charity work. Or whatever thing they do that makes them feel better when they feel "a little down."

For some reason this false "understanding" and fake sympathizing makes me angrier than the people who don't respond at all.

 

[Kati]

What bothers me is that they think I did not try the easy stuff first - I am pretty sure we all did. The problem is when the easy stuff stops working.

 

[Desiresdestiny]

My ex pastor said "you were raped" what's your problem?

Hmmm idk you f*cking idiot maybe the four years of abuse I endured as a child by two relatives!!! Still pisses me off

 

[Red Feather]

Well but, don't you think that everybody is traumatized???