What To Never Say To A Ptsd Sufferer

[KatB]

I agree with you, Jaret.

It's hard to accept the facts of what happened, especially when it comes from family members. PTSD gives me a label; it gives other the notion that I have become hurt or weak. It gives a stigma. I don't believe that everybody understand the emotional and psychological difficulties ptsd brings, more than when it's than a single trauma.

Fb is bad for ppl like us; unless we have real friends and family who support or care.

 

[KatB]

I think its more that I can't accept that its happened to me and that I shouldn't have gone through it.

 

[Mandy Tad]

Hi KatB, that is how I have felt for a long time, the more I said I am accepting what has happened I actually was beating myself up for what has happened. I have had around 8 months of therapy and it was repeated over and over to me every week- Be kind to yourself. It was not until this week that I heard it again and was so confused to hear it being told to me again. I actually goggled to find out what is being kind to yourself. This is what I found, Whenever you want to improve anything in your life, there's only one place to look: inside you. "When you look, do it with love."

What has happened is so wrong to you and all of us, but by being kind to yourself and not being harsh on yourself will help you. I still am hard on myself and say exactly what you say- I shouldn't have gone through it and it cannot happen to me. But reality is it did and it cannot be changed. I spoke to a friend who had PTSD and suffered for 8 years he said there is light at the end of the tunnel, and you will get there, in your own time.

People say what they like, its not that they want to hurt us, when you have PTSD anything and everything that people say or do can hurt us, PTSD is not like a physical illness where you can see the injury.

I hurt so much when people say things to me, I have now decided to just keep quite and not tell anyone I have PTSD. Its better that way no one says anything that hurts.

 

[aka]

Things not to say to a PTSD sufferer =
1. "Its been two years haven't you gotten over it?" No, if you have any advice on how to I am all ears.
2."Hey your pupils are huge what kind of meds do they have you on?" Thanks, now everyone else is wondering the same thing and my guilt about having to depend on them increases ten fold.

 

[Tanishq]

Fb is bad for ppl like us; unless we have real friends and family who support or care.

Yes, I have got some good friends on FB and from other nice forums.

It was my mistake that I joined some group and from there picked up harsh people. Who pretend to be caring and understanding people. When someone has ptsd, I think they should contact mature, understanding and also people who are good at understanding ptsd. This would give them safe caring communication.

PTSD is really difficult phase to handle. I have understood now, FB is not place for this all. FB is place to stay in touch with family and friends. But then again when you have trouble with communication, it is better to stay away from it.

 

[KP the nut]

Whenever you want to improve anything in your life, there's only one place to look: inside you. "When you look, do it with love."

Nice - I've printed this off :)

 

[Mandy Tad]

KP, thank you, I am happy I made you smile and you made me smile as well. One more for the weekend -
" Everything will be all right in the end, and if it is not all right it is not yet the end."

 

[Britt.f7]

I don't think anyone could get this lifetime of trauma and reabuse I've lived and what it's done to my brain and body.

They don't necessarily have to get it, but they can show empathy or try to understand it. As long as they're trying and not putting you down for it, that is good. It shows they have compassion and you deserve it.

You can't stop people from talking out of their behinds, so to speak. How you react to their comments can make them stop. However, some people don't even get blunt messages. Realize that they are ignorant and know that what you are experiencing is real. Don't ever sell yourself short because of these people.

Hang in there with your relationship if it is important to you. My husband is a good man, but it took me a long time to accept his goodness, believing I deserve less. I still have times where I believe he is too good for me and deserves someone better. I am definitely working on correcting that.

I wish you acceptance.

 

[Britt.f7]

Quit acting, I don't believe you. Said to me by a counselor in an inpatient setting when I was 16. He always acted hostile to me when I had to have sessions with him. None of the other counselors treated me that way. They were always helpful.

You know, this was back when jeans were skin tight for awhile and that was in, and he said to me, could you get them any tighter, right after I had an emotional talk with my dad. Nice guy. (by the way, that was the only tight pants I owned and didn't usually wear them)

 

[Mandy Tad]

Heard this from the workplace psychiatrist even after he knew I was diagnosed with PTSD,( he had the report in front of him )- You have a university degree, you are smart and intelligent, you are just suffering from mild adjustment disorder.Go get a job and move on in life.

 

[Barberian]

What never to say to a PTSD sufferer:

BOO!

(trying to startle them)

 

[Shellbell]

I had this recently and it was interesting, as we all seek validation of what happened to us. But my friend and pastor who has seen and heard a lot of people's histories (and prior to being a pastor he was a cop) said to me recently - no doubt trying to be validating;

'your history is the worst history of abuse of anyone I have known'.

Wow, now that just seriously freaked me out. So, now I'm thinking that too much validation can be really hard too.

I dunno, people can't win with me eh :rolleyes: