What To Never Say To A Ptsd Sufferer

[KateG]

Lisa - I love your mind! I've never, ever laughed about trauma before!

 

[Let It Be]

What really gets me, is the double standard, I see happening in my family.

My sister will share about what she remembers in our family and then I begin to share.

She will then have to use one of these liners like don't you know that happened so many years ago, why are you bringing that up, can't you get past that, etc.

My brother can talk about it and it is said and done, we share, we listen to one another, whereas with my sister, I really have to watch what I am saying to her.

Just don't like the double standard, she can say what she wants, but I can't...:wall:

 

[Nicolette]

What Not To Say To Someone Who Has PTS

I have found in my past that when in a situation of verbal sexual harassment others have said to me "you should have said that is inappropriate" or "don't talk to me like that" etc.

How in the hell can I focus on that when every part of my body has gone into panic/defence mode and my only thought is how do I get out of there as quickly as possible. :think:

 

[fin]

Emotionally repressed pussy.. I really hate that

You keep building walls try letting someone in why dont you?
Talk to the face cos the hand aint listening
Talk to the hand cos tha face aint listening
Why does it have to be and is it always all or nothing with you?
You dont know what its like for me
I can be your crutch, hold your crutch... (in fact anything to do with me myself or crutches is strictly out of bounds) I need the damn thing to walk ... I give it to you... how am I going to get around huh? And if I let you play with or touch it... then no one willl never get any work done.... mobility can be an issue to some people.

This is just a friendly warning??? like and how? (esp with a clenched fist or a boot explaining it to me, sometimes it is a FRIENDLY smile that this comes from)
(are you some kind of oxy moron or what?)
You must be imagining things

I hate hearing that and all those...

it isnt you its me
it isnt me its you
You dont understand
I dont understand, tell me again (we have known each other how long?)


So whats PTSD again?
(bndr? - google it and its EMDR !!!) A good friend said this to me along with a whole bunch of other stuff and I am the one with the problem?

Well if you say things like that
You asked for it

Youre asking for trouble if you pick an open wound
Come here I just want to hold you, hold this, no not like that
This wont hurt I promise (yeah right like pulling teeth and no pain no gain)
Try and just sit still why dont you (dont swallow, chew, dont chew, swallow)ok so you can spit now

Looking forward to the first signs of spring, summer, autumn, winter - good weather (depends what good weather is - like whats that?) What is the first sign of any of those months anyway?

Hold my hand, dont hold my hand
oh and my personal favourite right now... it gets better, it gets easier, in time it will come (back to you)
But you look so well!!
Its karma, and that goes the other way also
Karma will sort it all out
So why do you need crutches oh sorry a crutch?

In fact anything almost that has ever been said to me, and anything I have ever said also... BECAUSE I have PTSD and it soo totally depends on which side of the sofa I got up from this morning. (Or even if I slept on it at all)

This is in no way a direct or even an indirect go at anyone here or anywhere else... please know that. I may have got up from the sofa a little worse for wear this morning... and NO I dont drink (often) I promise... And nO this is not a confessional I didnt drink last night... In fact I cant remember the last time I did. :)

I did get told a couple of months ago though that I was a weak and a vulnerable woman, prone to all sorts ( and I am not always keen on being prone) HELLO I have PTSD ok that doesnt make me a complete idiot just a little tense ( hah!! maybe more than a little ok)... and so I needed protecting and the warning was for my own protection...so this was Just before I got an attack dog looking out for me :)

ask me if I could be a certain way... not if I am not that way no
I have a few kinks and a couple of quirks andbut that doesnt mean to say I come cheap and no dont ask me for a quote because if you have to ask please weigh up whether you can afford to loose it ;)

yeah baby ~

I know Jack D a little too well, perhaps also. We were old friends once too. I do understand take care and be safe~

 

[shila]

What Would You Say?

What would you say to someone who says, "I would never be that scared," or "...and that's enough to make you paralysed with fear? Riiight."

 

[Yumeko-chan]

My instinctive reaction to that would be "Try me" or "Bite me," but the more rational part would probably say "You don't know till you go through it." I know back when I wondered how I would react in a school shooting I thought I'd cry and stuff, and lo and behold, when it DID happen, I did the opposite: I went utterly numb.

 

[Lionheart]

A few more things not to say.....(These tend to tick me off)......

"If you'd just stop thinking about it/dwelling on it, you could heal and move on."

"It happened to me once, I just don't think about it anymore."

"Why you got to make a big deal about this?"

"Dude, that was years ago, get over it."

"It was just sex."

"Just be glad it isn't fatal."

"Man, we all have to deal with stress."


............Yep, especially don't say these things to me, I get a little mean when I hear those words. :stupid:

~Lewie~

PS: To those who don't understand about PTSD and don't really want to understand....."When in doubt, shut up!!!"

 

[fin]

things come to those that wait...

ok?~

 

[fin]

right 2) Yes maybe I am depressed wouldnt you be? If I could drag myself out of the pits of despair and pull my head out of my ass I would. Im a tongue depresser me ;)

feeling better now thankyou SC

 

[SunnyBrookFarm]

Well - I have a new one to add (unfortunately):

How long until your normal again? (umm ok clueless - first I was NEVER normal - second, I don't even know what normal is, lastly - how long until your not a complete jerk again).

OK - I actually feel a bit better for typing out my responses - LOL.

 

[Mina]

These aren't exactly one-liners, but honestly, they shouldn't say this stuff to me...I have ZERO sympathy. :stupid:

- Complaining about how you pay too much taxes and don't have any money when you own 3 homes in 2 states, have more vehicles and toys than you can ever use, have taken dozens of exotic trips, and been semi-retired for the last 10 years (from my real father)

- Complaining about how you don't have any money and might have to start working part-time when you sold your last house for a million in cash, have been retired for almost 7 years, take at least 3 dive trips to the Caribbean every year, and just bought a new car (from my pseudo mom)

- "Problems? *laughs* You have problems?" after I said I didn't like to watch the news because it stresses me out and I already have enough to deal with

 

[Julia_]

This is such a good thread.

Ok I don't know if these have been said before but -

"We ALL have problems... what makes you think yours are special?"
[They're not. I'm not. In fact. I'm feeling just the opposite of special. I'm feeling pretty shit. Actually... I'm feeling so shitty and unspecial and worthless I can't even get out of bed. Thanks for noticing, you knob.]

"I know you have these 'issues' but you still have to be functional you know"
[Did I not just explain to you that my 'issues' are that I have panic attacks when I try to FUNCTION??? Moron.]

"Oh that's nothing - you should hear what happened to ME"
[Oh really. That's nothing, is it? Gee. I never realised. I'll stop sooking then. Oh yes.. please, go on about how traumatising your broken nail was.]

Some people really are just a waste of oxygen..... :stupid: