When 1 Becomes Thousands...

[Years-of-Fears]

I have become a ghost that haunts my own mind...
My own reflection frequently terrifies me as I see the outer shell of the man... not a boy.
The outside of me has moved with the normal passage of time, my mouth opens and speaks adult words with adult tones... Yet inside I am frozen... A knot tied in the cord of time.
Seven... I am still seven years old and a demon has just destroyed all I was and all I had the potential to be...
What remains?
The "mechanism", the thing that I became to mimic and puppet my way forward though time.
It lays broken now, finally unmasked by its failure to be as they, "the normals", are.
I have been caught out.
They know I am not "fine" like they want me to be.
The battlefields of my mind have finally reached my eyes portraying my true fears.
My mouth too has begun to spill sorrow from its lips...
I ask you to forgive me this... I have become a blight to happiness.
My years of fears now soak me and a one time encounter now visits me more and more each day, each night...
The one has become thousands.
How can I be this...
I am so ashamed.
I'm looking for those who may know what land lays beyond this point, for I am now beyond the edge of my map and am very afraid I may drown in my ocean of tears...

 

[James B.]

Nice poem...but I'm afraid the moderators probably won't accept it, as poetry can be kinda hard to read. No worries. Stick around, this is a great place. Lots to learn and lots of support from those who really do understand. Anyway...welcome to the forum. :)

 

[cherryblossom]

Nice poem...but I'm afraid the moderators probably won't accept it

I just wanted to clarify this. As moderators, we have discussed this. Personally speaking I never had understood poetry, but I can appreciate it, nor would I ever knock someone or judge someone for it. I did raise this question with other mods, whether this was an appropriate introduction, and we/ I decided to leave 'Years of Fears' introduction as it is.

As moderators/ admin we are always trying to make the right decisions, that fit within the forum rules, and most importantly keep members safe.

James, I will be totally honest with you, in that I don't feel it is appropriate to publicly assume or pre-judge what a moderators decision will be, particularly to a new member here.

To years of fears - your introduction, being poetry was a little unusual (hence why we have had discussions about it), but you are very welcome here. I hope you find the support you need here. Keep posting when you are ready.

Regards
CB

 

[James B.]

My apologies. It really is a nice poem. And once again...Years-of-Fears, welcome to the forum.

 

[Years-of-Fears]

Upon waking this morning I was somewhat shocked to find my words had caused such apparent controversy.

My writing, my introduction, was sincerely not intended to be considered a "poem". It is merely my syntax and the method by which I transfer words spoke by mind to the page.

It seems if I am to return I must amend my language.

Forgive me, I have been mostly taught the spoken word by classic literature, the walls and floors of my isolated world are lined with Dickens, H G Wells and alike.

I shall try hard to amend my structure to more contemporary terms. I'm afraid years of isolation have rendered me something far from modern.

Again, my apologies. I hope I have not damaged my fledgling record.

<Edited by Amethist>