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When do you feel the most peaceful?

I've searched for peace a long time I think it can only come from serenity. We need to surrender to peace otherwise our subconscious isnt gonna let us have it. That being said I smoke some hash and listen to some music. I'm normally a rock guy but when it comes to extreme stress words don't work and I listen to classical music. Some modern artist like Esther Abrami. "Hope Assending" Helps me. Feel at peace Part of my PTSD is hearing people screaming so rock doesn't always work for me. But music can tell a story without words sometimes. Expecally with hash as a copilot.
 
Stacking firewood.

There's a purpose to it, it's a bit of exercise, I can set my own pace, and individual logs each need a bit of attention in order to sit well with their peers. Also I have to be mindful of my thumb injury. That all makes for a good distraction and leaves less room for intrusions.

Having a bubble bath or that sort of relaxation thing sounds incredibly stressful to me, come to think of it.
 
When I’m at home. It’s basically my safe space. I tend to feel completely relaxed and at ease while I’m at home. I also get that way occasionally in thrift and antique stores unless there’s taxidermy inside the store. I’m terrified of taxidermy.
 
when I am in the company of the man who was there for me when my home life fell to pieces. He just let me hang around. I was expecting to be swatted away - for him to find me annoying - but he never made me feel like an inconvenience, he always had time for me. He just let me exist in his presence where I felt safe. 20 years later, he is still the place where all the inner crazy goes calm and I feel steady and sane. The magic of a safe childhood attachment figure, I guess.
 
The first few seconds of pushing a small boat off of shore. The jiggly transition from loading, driving, arriving, carrying the crafts to the launch, boarding and then joyfully being afloat on a totally different and sought after element. Like weightlessness but not, like flying but not, both deadly if not up to the challenge and skilled for survival and capable of offering up peace and tranquility and rebirth at the same time. Those first few seconds are when it all comes rushing back.
Close second within the whole canoeing kayaking tubing experience? the smooth chute that is leading you inevitably toward the head of a rapids. The moments of silence that are interrupted slowly by the roar of the entry, with smiling glances among the folks who are glad to be doing what we are doing. A microcosm of life on earth in the tribe of co-dependent happiness seekers. God I miss it, the ability to do it, the trust among participants, the joy of having been there and survived with my own whit and skill.
I carry it with me but seldom reach through the fog of missing it to the gem of having it.
 
The first few seconds of pushing a small boat off of shore.
Gravel on bare feet, splinters & paint chips in hand, icy cold impossible up to the knee/thigh/groin/waist… and then… everything changes, in an instant. Shazam. Swept by greater tides/winds/needs/necessities. Remembered later. In passing. As you brush sand and salt off of your calf.

It’s one of those… worlds collide… in the best ways possible.

Close second within the whole canoeing kayaking tubing experience? the smooth chute that is leading you inevitably toward the head of a rapids. The moments of silence that are interrupted slowly by the roar of the entry, with smiling glances among the folks who are glad to be doing what we are doing. A microcosm of life on earth in the tribe of co-dependent happiness seekers. God I miss it, the ability to do it, the trust among participants, the joy of having been there and survived with my own whit and skill.
Going through a drainage pipe is a fun variant on theme. Oh! Hello!!! Boo.
 

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