Other When Going To Law Enforcement Doesn't Work

[cat-lady]

I would like to start a discussion of what's the right way to deal with it when going to the police, dcfs, etc doesn't work. First off, I know there are a lot of dedicated law enforcement workers out there who do a good job and I don't want to paint them all in that light but not all of us have the luck of getting to deal with those ones. My abusers are still a threat to me and to society and due to corruption where they live I have not been able to get an appropriate response out of the police or department of children and family services. This discussion is for anyone anywhere in the world but please note which jurisdiction you're talking about (if you feel safe doing so) when you post since answers about what works will vary by jurisdiction. Thanks.

(The inappropriate response I got was in Chicago(U.S.A.). It ended in a corrupt dcfs worker who was friends with my pedophile parents screaming at me that she would see to it, using her connections, that no one would ever believe me.)

 

[EveHarrington]

Are they still harming you? Still threatening you? Refusing to leave you alone?

 

[Stickler]

From reading your profile?
If they are still harassing you...as a law student you would know that you should:
Record and collect all evidence in the manner the state court prefers.
Collect any evidence of continued official misconduct.

Unfortunately, stuff that happened when you were a minor with a corrupt DCFS caseworker? The only real thing it would seem you could do was try to uncover written evidence of collusion.
If there is hard evidence that you were abused? Such as admissions or photos you have? These can be used in a civil suit if the criminal statute of limitations is up.

...I do not know exactly what anti-stalking measures you can take in your situation. I'd guess you've already found out. If not your area's women's center would probably have a guidebook.

 

[cat-lady]

Basically, every time I move they find me within about a year. Then I have incidents I know are them but can't prove are them until I move again. These include my car being broken into in the middle of the night, attempted break ins at my apartment, letters, and once a dead animal being left on my door step. The problem is they are always careful to make sure that I can never prove it is them but it started after I outed them about the abuse several years ago and no one else would have motive. I do have photos of myself as a young child beaten and bloody but they claim that this was from an accident. Unfortunately I have lived my life in various areas of the country where law enforcement is hugely overburdened and nothing much tends to be done about stalking, and I am still living in an area like that.

 

[EveHarrington]

Move and change your name?

Without some sort of definitive proof as to who is doing this stuff to you, the cops hands are tied.

I know that many jurisdictions won't issue restraining orders without proof.

Personally I'd let the childhood stuff go. Prosecution many years after the fact is near impossible. (I mean let go in the justice sense.)

Are you taking steps to keep your name hidden and out of public records? No presence on social media using your name?

 

[cat-lady]

I'm doing my best to keep my name out of records and social media but there's a limit to how much that is possible, especially now with online people searches. I looked into changing my name but in a lot of places in the U.S. you have to be living in that place for at least a year and also have to give public notice.

 

[mamachick]

I agree with letting the childhood stuff go legally.

I live where there is deep corruption with city police as well as other officials. I had no dealings with police or legal system until a man I dated who was a therapist evidently was at least a participant in stalking me. I also had a dead animal, mail, unwanted phone calls, vandalism to my car, and I felt like a nuisance among other things. Police and legal officials made fun of mail of a sexual nature and I felt stared down at times. (some self conscious probably but also very real and humiliating to feel so unsafe that I had to report.) Im in US as well. Thing was, this therapist practiced 25 yrs in a small city of 25,000 population. He had dirt on everyone. I reported him to licensing board and he was disciplined, but I had to report confidentialities that he broke in telling me things about many people. My intent was not to harm but I had to provide evidence of unethical behavior. Since he is a sociopath, I suspect he was able to turn it around and make me appear like the nut. He quickly attached himself to a female therapist who he had spoke poorly of, even married her (still dogging around). He finds credible intellegent women to compensate and ride on their skirt tails to cover his sexual addiction. Police refused to take report for dead animal (officer was his client). Then officers harrassed my teen daughter. From this point on, anything that happens legally, I am blamed for. My reporting vandalism results in officers stating Im intoxicated when I am clearly not. (later discovered in report but not for yrs as I had no reason at time to pay for report)

Sorry to be blatently honest in my experience, but you cant beat city hall where I live. Small town and everyone talks. Knowing that has made me an ass at time-No, I have chose to be an ass with some at times. Sometimes unknowingly irritating I suppose with questions. None the less, it is clear that they would not help me if they saw me attacked. Even something such as vandalism, they act as if I would do it myself, I guess so I can pay the $1000 deductable. I would also say disappear, but that is a luxury that most of us dont have as you have said.

I would invest in any security cameras on your home and vehicle. Keep recording devices handy on your person. Remember that it does not matter if those people believe you-you know the truth. Dont let them push you to compromise your integrity. If the city police are the problem, have state or county on speed dial, and even talk to them in advance about the problem, often they are more understanding and educated. I think it will be your personal empowerment that is your greatest asset, though I lost mine through a long process. (This therapist has dirt on every cop, attorney, magistrate, etc). Even those not his clients, he has treated a neighbor, a maid, a secretary and knows the dirty little secrets. I cant be angry for them not protecting me, but to bully me , and they have, is just what people do here in the community that sufferes addiction, mental illness, poverty, obesity, etc at very high rates. Of course not all but way too many.

If you get something on video, dont take it to authorities, take it to media and explain why. Take it to civil attorney, of course after documenting all incidents as another poster said.
Sorry you are going through this.

 

[Sideways]

In the meantime, have plenty of patience (there is no rush, better to get it right). Get your law degree, get your practicing certificate, get yourself a good job. Volunteer to sit on charity boards. Volunteer as a soccer coach for little kids or with the Girl Guides. Solidfy who you are.

You are not a vulnerable child. You are an intelligent and motivated woman. Remake your community as your space, where you are admired and respected in your own right. That is incredibly powerful. When you need to go above the heads of the people holding you down, you'll be up there already, and be a person to be taken seriously.

Motivation and intellect combined can move mountains. Be smart. Become your own advocate. Have patience. The pieces will fall into place for you. And never for a second underestimate yourself and what you can achieve.

 

[cat-lady]

Thanks everyone for all your advice. Unfortunately today I got another letter announcing that they have found me again, right on cue (I last moved about 10 months ago). I have a security system. I need to add some cameras though - don't have any right now. I'm also considering going to buy a handgun to keep at home just in case but I really don't want to since I've never owned one and the idea causes me a lot of anxiety.

 

[The Albatross]

Surveillance is available now, it wasn't when I was dealing with a stakler/ex... and a total friggin' stranger. So yeah low cost stuff to increase surveillance and bolster you're position is good. There is a bunch of stuff people do to provide for safety rather than a handgun since you aren't personally motivated not indicate that you'd go through fire arms training. Like Hornet/Wasp spray shoots from the can 12 feet... some seniors use this. Or other measures.

Personally law enforcement, for all the good they do, didn't do shit for me. But I was victimized largely in the 60's/70's/early 80's.

 

[cat-lady]

Thanks! I will look into that. Sorry to hear you went through something similar. No one should have to go through this stuff!

 

[hodge]

Holy s___, cat-lady. I can barely imagine what you have been living with. Just horrible. I'm so sorry. I think others have given good advice. I have none, just empathy.