Hi Pain,
I am so sorry you went through and witnessed what you did. I have just started writing a lot of stuff down in a diary at the end of everyday. It seems to help me get some of the stuff out of my head, and sometimes it helps me to cry and release some of the internal pain which has built up in me for so long. I'm also sorry you didn't have a good experience with your therapist. I have been to several T's to find one I can trust, and I am still holding some stuff back.
Hang in there and hopefully it will get better for you soon. I think expressing your feelings to somebody you can trust will help. I still seem to have problems with this myself, after kidding myself and everybody else for years that I am okay, but I am slowly starting to open up and describe my innermost feelings - something that still fills me with dread to be honest. I love coming to this forum where I can remain annonymous and feel 'safe', read others experience, strength and courage to help me heal. Writing what you did is a very positive first step in getting some of your pain out.
Wishing you all the best,