When seeking treatment for chronic pain, do Dr's just think you're faking it or trying to get opioids??

[Ecdysis]

I've had terrible chronic pain ever since I can remember... Fibromyalgia since childhood, awful endometriosis where I'd nearly pass out from pain, severe back pain for 25 years that until last year I've always refused surgery for, despite constantly being pressured to have it.

A childhood full of trauma taught me that my pain was irrelevant, that I shouldn't "complain", that other people had it "so much worse", that it was pointless reaching out for help. So I learned to ignore it, suck it up, dissociate it away.

I learned to put up with ridiculous amounts of pain...

I remember once, a neighbour of mine had the same issue as I did and yeah, she was in pain, but to me that was utterly normal, bearable levels of pain. But she called an ambulance and was in hospital for a week. And I remember being soooo stunned... I've had levels of pain ten times worse than that and still not even considered calling an ambulance...

The whole childhood trauma thing of "your pain is not real" and "no one cares about your pain" also taught me to never take pain meds... Like, pain meds are for wimps and sissys... So the only time I will take them is if I'm literally in agony. Which I know isn't the best approach... Taking too many pain meds is crap, but taking too few is equally shite, it just makes pain turn chronic...

Anyway... all my life I've just grit my teeth, dissociated the pain away and gotten on with my life.

Whenever the pain has gotten literally unbearable, and I've reached out for help, I've encountered some seriously shitty full-on arsehole doctors.

The kind that behave like you're just there "claiming" you have pain so that you can get an opiod prescription, or something.

I dunno... Is that something that so many people go around doing? Claiming to have chronic pain so that they can fill an opioid prescription or get off work?

Why are so many Dr's such absolute callous low lives when it comes to people who are in pain?

I've heard the same from other people, so I know it's not just me.

I get so confused about it tho... I dunno what I'm meant to do...

Is patients being in pain something that triggers some Dr's?

Do I need to keep looking for a better Dr?

Am I way too naive to think that surely pain is something that's quite common and quite treatable? FFS I live in a rich first world country with a good medical system... You'd think that someone experiencing massive pain with a known cause would be a relatively straightforward issue?

Uggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I dunno if it's the whole "trauma makes me seem too bland when talking about massive pain" thing... I mean, when you've gone through trauma, then yeah, literally severe back pain is not the worst thing you've been through... It's no "drama"... But it seems to confuse people when I just grit my teeth and blandly (?) report how much pain I'm in...

The last couple of years have been really bad... Unbearable levels of pain...

Ridiculously, I've found myself talking to Dr's and forcing myself to be "more dramatic" so that they get it.

I feel like such a f*cking idiot doing it... Like I'm somehow "faking" it, to get them to understand it? I guess what I'm "faking" is the normal kind of emotions that a person without trauma would show at that level of physical pain. But I still feel like an absolute idiot doing it and it still feels fake to me.

Ugh

 

[parrotthepolly]

I dunno if it's the whole "trauma makes me seem too bland when talking about massive pain" thing... I mean, when you've gone through trauma, then yeah, literally severe back pain is not the worst thing you've been through... It's no "drama"... But it seems to confuse people when I just grit my teeth and blandly (?) report how much pain I'm in...

Definitely a lot of this but get a second opinion from a different dr and it may help.

 

[whiteraven]

The kind that behave like you're just there "claiming" you have pain so that you can get an opiod prescription, or something.

I dunno... Is that something that so many people go around doing? Claiming to have chronic pain so that they can fill an opioid prescription or get off work?

It is. LOADS of people do this, and it makes medical providers skeptical and overly cautious.

Is patients being in pain something that triggers some Dr's?

Doctors have not been properly trained to deal with chronic pain, to recognize where it's coming from. But also, the true nature and origin of a lot of pain is just not known. And for women, it's very, very typical for pain to be blown off as "all in your head."

Do I need to keep looking for a better Dr?

Yes, but it might take going through several. I've actually found nurse practitioners and physician assistants more open to discussion and different treatments.

Ridiculously, I've found myself talking to Dr's and forcing myself to be "more dramatic" so that they get it.

Oh, yeah. I went through years of this. You are not alone here!

 

[Charbella]

I feel like you have two options. You go for a more caring provider who gets to know you a bit and knowing you they can see you aren’t faking it you’re just in some serious pain OR you go for someone who could care less and will therefore do anything you ask of them of course it means you doing all you’re own research. The middle ones who pretend to care can’t seem to see those of us who don’t come in all grimace faced saying we’re in pain.

Alternatively you could let them put you in pain and see you do in fact respond. The fibro pressure points pretty much send me from I’m fine to a solid 10 in record time but it lingers and feels like they’re shoving sharp objects in me for days afterwards. But even then you might be seen as faking it because it’s not normal to be in that much pain. My doc who is seen for years decided to touch them and immediately said wow, you have fibro and are in a lot of pain, this from the guy who 15 years earlier had said it was a garbage diagnosis.

Could you ask for a different provider at the place you went to and then see if you get a different feeling on how it’s going to go?

 

[Paranoid-BedBug]

Yeah, I've gotten this from doctors. My father was one of those assholes. He loved to shit-talk patients for being 'illegals looking for handouts' and 'bimbos bitching for drugs' and 'junkies milking the system' And so on and so forth.

There are unkind assholes in every profession. It's easy to internalize the crap that educated assholes spew, as though they are less likely to be wrong.

But my father was diagnosed NPD, ASPD, and he abused his wife and children. He assaulted his nurses. He was a shameless racist, misogynist, and all around bigot.

Don't buy their assertion of superiority because of their educational background.

You deserve a doctor who provides quality service. It's not you. It's them.

Doctor shop until you find a good one who can empathize.

 

[Lost in the Woods]

Google Central Sensitization. I have a long history with chronic pain. I ended up at the Mayo Clinic pain clinic. The doc goes over all my pain and then asks, “By the way, did you have childhood trauma?” I said some and he reached around and grabbed a pamphlet on Central Sensitization. I had never heard of it but it is something that people with chronic pain and a trauma history can get. In regards to pain there is a lot that can be done without taking pain pills. One life changer for me is a topical pain cream with ketamine in it. It is made up in compounding pharmacies in the US. Most docs don’t even know about this stuff. Central Sensitization can also make you very sensitive to chemicals like cleaning products or medications. I am super sensitive to meds. Read up on it, it is an eye opener for people like us.

 

[Paranoid-BedBug]

One life changer for me is a topical pain cream with ketamine in it.

Ugh. I'm so happy that ketamine works for some people. I tried the infusions when they first came out, and it was very unpleasant and exhausting. I assume it's a genetic issue on my end, and some people get that magical relief and others don't.

Which is how most psych treatments work, so I've been told. They throw therapies and pills at us until something sticks. They have very little understanding of why things do or don't work for people.

 

[Lost in the Woods]

Since the ketamine pain cream is topical you don’t get any of the psychoactive properties of ketamine.

 

[Freida]

I"m super lucky that I have had the same doc for years and she will prescribe opiates for fibro but the hoops she has to jump thru are unreal. Which is why she one of the few in the clinic that will do it. We have to meet every 90 days for a review and a urine screen and a whole questionnaire, and she has to report every prescription to the DEA.

To be able to prescribe them I had to go to a pain clinic and did all the stuff they suggest in the program. Yoga, walking, tens units, meditation, mindfulness, taichi, ptsd therapy, blah blah. Don't get me wrong, those things all do help - I still do some of them every day. But for the days when it's really bad the only thing that works are pain pills. Since she could show I was using all the other options first, we meet regularly, and she gives low dose low amounts she can perscribe them without a whole lot of grief. I also keep a folder of all the white papers that come out on fibro.

Plus she says that if she ends up leaving it will be easier to find another doctor because i can show a history of "correct" usage and not someone just showing up randomly and asking for meds.

Should a patient have to work this hard to get their health taken care of?
NO!!!!! But, it's the world we are in - because of those who abuse it.
Luckily there are docs out there to help - if you make it easy for them.

 

[Ecdysis]

Thank you @Freida

It helps hearing that it's like that for everyone.

I thought I was going mad or that there was something wrong with me for being utterly too stupid to attain halfway decent pain management...

At least now, I know what I'm up against...

Sigh...

 

[WinnieThePoohChris]

Have you tried CBD products if you can get them?

Shockingly effective for me and some others I know with chronic pain.

 

[Mach123]

I got my primary to do it but I really had to work my ass off because it already said substance abuse in my files. But I won her over and thank goodness. I have very severe osteoarthritis and I can barely hold a paint brush or use the lawnmower and I have to still do stuff like that. I’ve managed with help to use them properly not without mishap but they come with difficulty. You have to know that going in. Nothing else works . Good luck it’s really hard to feel like you have to doctor shop. Even now after years I have to be very careful. They keep an eye on you even at the pharmacy. Good luck I think everyone should have access to them that wants them . Especially us older folks ! Getting old hurts .