• We are a multilingual website again. Read the notice about this.
  • Understand AI use at MyPTSD: all AI use is explained in our AI help page. AI use is by choice here. It exists if you want it, but does nothing unless you choose to use it.

When there's so much to say but blank

Status
Not open for further replies.

Punky143

Gold Member
So, I have parts within and pretty much everyone has an opinion or thought to everything said to me. Problem is, when my T and I are talking- especially about stuff I find very hard to talk about, I go blank or I start talking nonsense and apologize. My T is nice and gets it but anyone else have a million thoughts about stuff yet all of a sudden is speechless??
 
anyone else have a million thoughts about stuff yet all of a sudden is speechless??
Yep. For the longest time this was a massive obstacle for me. We (myself and my T) have very slowly but steadily chipped away at, trying to find different ways around it.

Writing has helped, but I had to prepare the writing for the session beforehand as I was just as unable to write in the session as speak. I don't have contact with her between sessions, but prepared what I wanted to look at in sessions ahead of time.

I'm now at a point where, I still need to have things written down but am becoming more able to use them as a base that I can expand on vocally. It's still hit and miss, but as it was always miss for a long time I'll take that.

It has taken us a few years to get to this point, but we still somehow managed to get a hell of a lot of work done in that time without my voice.
 
I have this problem all the time,I have so many thoughts going through my head during my therapy sessions but I find them hard to say them out loud.
I think a lot of it is to do with the way I have been brought up with negative thoughts and it has made me believe that I don't have the right to speak my mind.
As part of my homework I have to write down what is going on in my mind and I go through it with my therapist.
Maybe you could write down what is going on in your mind for your therapist and go through them.
 
Yes!! I email my T a lot & we use the emails as a way to get started during sessions but it's still hard because many times I write the emails at a very vulnerable moment & then I feel embarrassed when she reads it out loud. She suggested once that we take a walk outside & talk...I'm thinking maybe that might be a good idea. There's just something about walking in that room & being in the spotlight that makes me clam up & lose any words! When I DO speak, it doesn't even sound like me. I sound like a little kid, afraid to speak & so quiet. I recently started taking a yoga class with her & that has helped me be able to relax & open up to her a little more.
 
I think my T and I have discovered something relatively new. I and all my parts are triggered by so much by the slightest things such as words. My T use to react to the angry parts by setting rules etc. Result-they pushed back harder almost enjoying the game but the rest of us suffered greatly with the between sessions. I'm not reporting this has gone totally away but there's a slightly different feeling now.
Instead of triggering me right away by proclaiming things that ultimately cause rebellion, with my permission, as well as the amount of time I give, the parts can speak thus feeling more validated and heard.
 
No parts, but very much the
- million thoughts & can't speak, or
- completely blanked mind, with everything else behind it, or
- gibberish nonsense as all I can reach for are pieces of very different thoughts. Sometimes I'll get a theme, though, like nouns or connecting words. A, the, is, so, but, the, f*ck. f*ck f*ck f*ck f*ck f*ck. His, her, mine, I, f*ck. f*ck f*ck f*ck f*ck f*ck. <<< That one I usually have all the thoughts in my mind, but I can't translate them into speech.

About the only thing that breaks through it is completely losing my temper. If I get angry enough? Then I can usually talk. Not about what I wanted to talk about, usually, but whatever just pissed me the hell off. I've spent so long learning to control my temper, that's both rare as blazes and requires someone going toe to toe with me.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Donation drives

2026 Donation Goal

Goal
$1,800.00
Earned
$910.00
This donation drive ends in
0 hours, 0 minutes, 0 seconds
  50.6%

Trending content

Featured content

Back
Top Bottom