When You Understand You Didn't Deserve It

[p-no]

Whitney, I already did write letters, talk etc. to/with those who are still alive. They are not many. But it didn't help. I wrote, I screamed, I ran, I biked. Nothing helps. That's also because I don't manage to stay out of situations that get me right into where I used to be. I repeat things. And I end up with the same people. Over and over again. Those who are nice at first, and then turn out to be bastards.

 

[Whitneys story]

Prime-No :) This is a lightbulb for me. I believe I might be on round three of getting back to me.

Compassionate people have a tendency of not seeing the wolves in sheepskin clothing. We believe in good and have a hard time realizing many others do not have our best interest at heart.

It is not easy to trust ourselves and surround with genuine good people. This part of the journey can be lonely. Spending time with oneself can be very rewarding. Looking at ourselves and our qualities as friends to others. Do we give more to friends than we get back. Emotionally not monetarily.

Learning to like ourselves is not easy but possible. To truly process and know we did not ask for the abuse. Past programming has been in there a long time. Maybe there are some things trying to surface. Keep writing and emptying. Know you are not alone in the struggle. You are a good person. We can't always force our growth. Baby steps might be best. Hugs, Whitney

 

[anni]

Compassionate people have a tendency of not seeing the wolves in sheepskin clothing. We believe in good and have a hard time realizing many others do not have our best interest at heart.

I'm not sure we ever, ever 'learn' from this. The thing is, it's not a mistake we're making in life- it's the way we're programmed, and born, and function. I still kick myself sometimes, like I'm the idiot and in fact am called 'clueless', and that's the nicest term part of my family uses. Like there's something wrong with us because we were born 'nice', like it's a birth defect? Wow.

These are really wise, thoughtful posts, thank you.

 

[Whitneys story]

@Anni, Thank You and your family are the wrong ones. Balderdash! It is an asset.

"Rarely do members of one family grow up under the same roof"-Richard Bach. We are family here. So many people spend their lives judging others and expecting them to live up to their preconceived beliefs. They truly believe they are better.

If they looked inward at who they really are it is highly probable they would be here with us. I am certain if your sister had a hair style that did not cover her ears, one might see that they stand up and are quite hairy:). JMHO.

I am sorry you are born into that family, and so glad you are with your Forum family.

Behemoth Hugs, Whitney

PS: 59 years of struggles, I have learned and repeat. We are only human.