I have PTSD but I am also able to make and keep friends pretty easily, so I hope that what I write can help you.
The first thing to do is find an activity in the community that you enjoy. It can be scrapbooking, a book club, Zumba, knitting, etc.
When first meeting a person, I make friendly small talk and find things that we have in common. I try to invite more than one person (at least 2-3) for a group activity. I do activities that we all might enjoy. For the first few times we spend time with each other, I keep it at an activity. We can play a game like "Apples to Apples" or go bowling. I stay away from going to a coffee shop right away unless we have a purpose in mind like we are going to discuss a book, or we are going to warm up from going ice skating.
As humans, we like people who like us and listen to us. Because of this, when I am talking with someone I am always making sure that I am listening more than I am speaking. I also notice if I am giving appropriate eye contact and I am affirming. When I say something, I ask myself these questions: Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary. If I have to say no to any of those things, then I don't say it.
Also, the best rule is the one that is said over and over again: Be yourself. You don't want a friend who you can't be yourself with. Remember that you are not your PTSD, and your PTSD isn't you. So find out who you are outside of your illness.
I keep things light and share day-to-day ordinary struggles (i.e. got stuck in traffic; had a root canal- that hurt!)
I let people into this intimate area (PTSD) of my life slowly, and I am careful who I share this with. Its only after I have deemed someone very trustworthy and able to handle something like this. I am also careful about what I share. I don't go into explicit detail...that's reserved for my therapist. But I do talk about my feelings and struggles. Again, this is after I have screened a person, and after some time has passed.
When I do have a friend with whom I can share intimately, I make sure that we are supporting each other. I am careful not to turn him/her into my rescuer. So I also support him/her in his/her issues. I also continue to have lightheartedness with close friends, because its not healthy to have a relationship where you only talk about gloomy things. Being lighthearted can give us a much deserved break from what we are going through, too. Also, in terms of SI and self harm, it is best to call a therapist if one is struggling with temptations. This is another way to keep from turning our friends into our rescuers.
