Where Did The Therapist Come Up With This Stuff????

[Powder]

Hi GymnGirl,

Based on what you are saying, some possibilities come to my mind:

1. One possibility is that the Therapist has formed a pre-conceived notion of what PTSD is. She may assume that all PTSD sufferers are similar along the lines of anger and perhaps her list comes from that prejudice. If this is the case, then you will need to seriously consider a new Therapist. People don't release their prejudices when they are revealed to them. We tend to hold onto them indefinitely and they have to be pried out of our cold, dead hands. :)

2. Another possibility is that your husband lied and told her that you are violent. (Since you mention other things he has hidden from you, and that he is a childish person who wants to live with his parents and make major life decisions with his parents, then I think lying is a distinct possibility.)

3. I have a problem with the Therapist seeing you and your H who you are on the rocks with separately. This doesn't take your therapy relationship as primary in importance. My overall impression is that the therapist lacks people skills. S/he just doesn't "get it." S/he will talk to anyone who will pay him/her, and will tell them "the answer" without thinking about the complexties of people and their relationships.

I hope you are not too invested in this one, because I think it needs to go. Not every T is a keeper. Hopefully, I'm validating you and not being overly judgmental or negative. What you say makes me feel like you feel a sense of "spinning your wheels" with your spouse and Therapist, like neither one is being genuine or committed to you. Is that correct? If so, then the next question is, How much of that belongs to them? I read that into your replies, like you are looking for external validation of what you are perceiving. Being that you are perceiving that you do not agree with and feel hijacked by your Therapist, and to a certain extent with the H, you want to see if that is "true." If you feel it, then it is true. Having PTSD doesn't mean your perceptions are invalid.

One of the key things to heal PTSD is to relearn to trust your gut.

 

[SimplyComplex]

I think I would be upset too. I have one thought though, cause I went to hubby's t with him for a long time and we did it as couples. I actually thought he was my t (he failed miserably in not letting me know I wasn't his client), but he wasn't. He was my husband's. So in that case, I am sure if he had a plan, it would be a plan just for my husband and not for me. Could that be the reason why he didn't have one for your husband?

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

It sounds like you are ready to address him about the things that are incorrect in the written treatment plan. That is good, because without trust in him, he can't help you. It sounds like you asked for the paperwork, and it would be interesting to know what he has planned for your husband.

I also would not have the same therapist, and most therapists would not want to see both parties separately during marriage counselling. Conflict of interests, and too easy to take sides!

I'd be upset about the job and house thing too. AND the parents!

Good luck, and blessings to you!

 

[anthony]

most therapists would not want to see both parties separately during marriage counselling. Conflict of interests, and too easy to take sides!

They likely would if resolving the conflicts with one person was causing issues between the couple... so sometimes its easier to solve an issue one-on-one, than within the couple itself. Some issues are not couple related, as both parties bring individualism into the relationship, and sometimes one, or both, individuals need to be discussed separately rather than collectively.

A prime example is someone who has PTSD, in a relationship... being the other person doesn't have PTSD or major aspects affecting them individually, but dealing with someone who has individual difficulty thus causes them issues, either not understanding, no knowing, etc, how to deal with it.