Thanks, that gives me a much better idea. Those all sound like good things to do in reaction to something. What I think you need, and part of what containment is, would add some aspects to what you've described.
One is that, as I said, what you're describing is reactive. A symptom comes up then you react to it. It sounds from what you say, and from how you relate to Bill's post, that you're highly symptomatic. You're basically quelling things. Does that sound right?
I think you need to be proactive about staying grounded so you don't get the symptoms. I think everyone needs to do this, by the way, not just you personally. We need to do it in anticipation of particular things that we know are coming up - for example, before you walk through the same door that Bill was talking about. We also need to do it generally, so that any unexpected door doesn't take us by surprise because we're much more stable. It's how I understand your statement:
ie as opposed to trying to define the present as "not the past".
There are exercises for staying more stable and in the present generally. An example is when you're out and about is to carry a small compass and keep thinking about which direction your home is in. I think this is very effective for several reasons. By it's nature it's proactive because you need to keep doing it for it's own sake, not in response to any distress. But you're prompted to do it frequently, by neutral things - going round a corner, taking a seat, going into a shop, even turning to look at something. You have to focus on it, so it helps you stop drifting or dissociating. It keeps connecting you to the present and your physical self. It keeps connecting you to somewhere safe, on both a conscious and unconscious level. It meets an instinct that we have, as animals, to stay orientated.
There are other things like this that you can do generally to stay in your physical self and your present surroundings - to stop you from losing connection in the first place. Which helps to create a habit of doing that instead of losing touch and then needing to regain it.
I agree that knowing it intellectually will have little effect because the problem isn't in your intellect. So, you need to know it in other ways.
The way Bill describes it is an image, a visualisation. You can make the image different. You could imagine sending the little guy on a retraining course at Instinct University where he's taught to recognise the difference between real and not real. You could treat the amygdala to a spa holiday so it can de-stress and recover.
You could visualise things about the environment around you. You could imagine always being accompanied by dogs who go ahead of you and chase away any scary guys with 2x4s. Or you could imagine the area has already been swept clean of them before you arrive. Or you could imagine yourself walking through doors and on the other side there's something very peaceful that you love - the ocean, flowers, music, a gentle, safe person greeting you etc
You could imagine your stone as a magic stone that protects you when you walk through doors and makes anyone with a 2x4 disintegrate.
You could visualise things about your own safety and stability. I made a collage representing myself as a strong female bodybuilder, and put it where I would see it often.
Every time you walk through a door and there was no crazy guy, you can reinforce that to yourself. You can notice it. You can focus on feeling that you're OK, that it was safe and you are safe.
One is that, as I said, what you're describing is reactive. A symptom comes up then you react to it. It sounds from what you say, and from how you relate to Bill's post, that you're highly symptomatic. You're basically quelling things. Does that sound right?
I think you need to be proactive about staying grounded so you don't get the symptoms. I think everyone needs to do this, by the way, not just you personally. We need to do it in anticipation of particular things that we know are coming up - for example, before you walk through the same door that Bill was talking about. We also need to do it generally, so that any unexpected door doesn't take us by surprise because we're much more stable. It's how I understand your statement:
ie as opposed to trying to define the present as "not the past".
There are exercises for staying more stable and in the present generally. An example is when you're out and about is to carry a small compass and keep thinking about which direction your home is in. I think this is very effective for several reasons. By it's nature it's proactive because you need to keep doing it for it's own sake, not in response to any distress. But you're prompted to do it frequently, by neutral things - going round a corner, taking a seat, going into a shop, even turning to look at something. You have to focus on it, so it helps you stop drifting or dissociating. It keeps connecting you to the present and your physical self. It keeps connecting you to somewhere safe, on both a conscious and unconscious level. It meets an instinct that we have, as animals, to stay orientated.
There are other things like this that you can do generally to stay in your physical self and your present surroundings - to stop you from losing connection in the first place. Which helps to create a habit of doing that instead of losing touch and then needing to regain it.
I agree that knowing it intellectually will have little effect because the problem isn't in your intellect. So, you need to know it in other ways.
The way Bill describes it is an image, a visualisation. You can make the image different. You could imagine sending the little guy on a retraining course at Instinct University where he's taught to recognise the difference between real and not real. You could treat the amygdala to a spa holiday so it can de-stress and recover.
You could visualise things about the environment around you. You could imagine always being accompanied by dogs who go ahead of you and chase away any scary guys with 2x4s. Or you could imagine the area has already been swept clean of them before you arrive. Or you could imagine yourself walking through doors and on the other side there's something very peaceful that you love - the ocean, flowers, music, a gentle, safe person greeting you etc
You could imagine your stone as a magic stone that protects you when you walk through doors and makes anyone with a 2x4 disintegrate.
You could visualise things about your own safety and stability. I made a collage representing myself as a strong female bodybuilder, and put it where I would see it often.
Every time you walk through a door and there was no crazy guy, you can reinforce that to yourself. You can notice it. You can focus on feeling that you're OK, that it was safe and you are safe.
