Where's My Memory Gone! ?

[Tinyflame]

I think stress, distraction etc plays a big part. Also pain & lack of sleep. Context too, lots of times I don't recognize people, but not good friends. I don't visualize well. I describe people & forget details others think are obvious (color of skin, no hair etc).

There's a difference though to 'memory' versus' 'working memory'. Ie Where are my car keys? versus What are these 'things' (keys) & what are they for or where do they go?

I can remember (& see) minute details of peoples' lives or the past ( traumas, for the 'visuals') but miss big things. Like I'll remember the size of their car rims or kids' stuff but not their name. Or plan every detail of a birthday but forget the cake, etc. Today a woman said to me, "You are in love". I said "What makes you say that?" She said "You're too young to be absent-minded". I said "Unless I'm the first". :rolleyes:

Visual cues especially, & routines are necessary for me or whoosh- it's gone.

But it's terrifying to 'forget' where I am, etc. As in "I'm lost". I'm glad that's infrequent. I think that's stress/ overwhelm/ feeling unwell. I think I can't recall how people look/ memories when I have constricted thinking (SI).

I'll remember things for you, vitals and what not, you remind me who I am & want to be.

^ That's sweet. :) Also actually very true. :hug:

 

[Ocean5]

Uh, not so funny. Was just on phone with bank, and forgot my social security number? WTF First time this has happened. Very freaky.

But I think it's medicine related. I've never forgotten that number before.

 

[JessNoOne]

Uh, not so funny. Was just on phone with bank, and forgot my social security number? WTF First time this...

what medicine are you on?

 

[shimmerz]

I have forgotten stuff since I was a kid. I wasn't on meds then. For me, I think a very large part of my forgetfulness has been my dissociative tendencies (which I didn't know I had). It explains a lot at this point. I forgive myself for all of the idiotic things I used to do.

I have resigned myself to the fact that I will NEVER remember any movies I watch 5 minutes after they are over. Names of movies I have watched? Forget it. Names of people? Hit and miss. If I can relate one person to another then that is okay. I seem to be able to get around memory loss using visualization ... this Bob (who is new in my life), has the same name as this Bob (who I remember) so I overlay the image of one onto another to remember his name. Keys? I put them in the same spot all the time. Because I know I am screwed if I don't. If I move or my routine goes awry, I have to consciously remember how my routine changes and I know I am in for a brutal ride for quite some time until it becomes routine.

Some things I will NEVER be able to remember. No use beating myself up about it anymore. I spent decades doing that and all that did was clutter my head even more.

 

[Ocean5]

@Link RemovedKlonopin (Clonazepam) 9 months, Luvox (Fluvoxamine) for maybe 1 month, Zyprexa (Olanzapine) 5 days.

Olanzapine I'm suppose to be on for 2-3 months to boost Luvox. New p-doc says I've tried so many anti-depressants/anxiety medicines in past year time for new approach (others made me much worst off.) I don't even take full dose of Olanzapine since I am sensitive to medicine. Only 2.5 mg P-doc wants me on 10 mg. But he said it would make me sleep "a lot" so trying to avoid that by gradual increase.

But serious memory issues past several months beyond normal. I think it's the Klonopin.

 

[JessNoOne]

I have forgotten stuff since I was a kid. I wasn't on meds then. For me, I think a very large part of...

You're exactly right.... It IS the dissociation because I find I cannot focus on anything for long periods of time. If I am watching a film, I usually am zoned out during most of it. It's not something I can control. I don't know why it happens. I don't know if something triggers me in the film and this is why I do it. I have no idea. But I guess it's cool because i can watch the same movies multiple times and it's like the first time seeing them! haaa.

I just hate feeling like a dumbass because my memory is so bad. There HAS to be something that can be done. I refuse to accept this.

 

[JessNoOne]

@Link RemovedKlonopin (Clo...

Omg... it definitely is.... I have been on klonopin since my brother passed away... so.... 8 years. I've tried numerous times to get off of it.. and I can't... It is like being thrown into hell when I try to quit it. I've tried three times... as recently as 6 months ago. I think I'm a klonopin lifer, unfortunately. It works it's way into your chemical makeup. It becomes a part of you.

 

[shimmerz]

If I am watching a film, I usually am zoned out during most of it.

Lemons (sucking on) or hot or sour candies or spicy foods really helped me to identify when I was zoning out. I don't care enough about movies to worry about them, because you are right! One movie goes a looooooonnnngggg way in my world! That isn't necessarily a bad thing. I pick and choose my battles.

 

[JessNoOne]

Lemons (sucking on) or hot or sour candies or spicy foods really helped me to identify when I was zonin...

Oh but I do care.. so much... I love watching movies. I'll try eating lemons WHEN watching movies. My mind just ALWAYS wanders. It's so frustrating.. not having control over your own thoughts.