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Whether to bring my new boyfriend to support me

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Star76

Hiya, so I have been with my boyfriend since September and he knows everything and I live away from home. My mum moved out from my dads house due to him being sexually abusive towards me from the age of very little and it only stopped when we left him back in July. He was also domesticity abusive towards my mum. Since mum left dad she has been living with my grandad (her dad) I would describe my mum as being emotionally unstable (but understandable considering the circumstances) My mum is planning to move out of my grandads in a few weeks and into a rented house. I know this will cause my mum (understandably) to become distressed and upset therefore I am coming home on the move out day to support her. If I am honest I would like to have some support to support her and therefore and contemplating bringing my boyfriend to be there for me. I am looking for advice as to wether you all think this is a good idea or if it will be to soon to bring him as this will be the first time he meets my mum but I’m sure he would happy to come if I asked him. Thank you x
 
Hey Star76 - my opinion is nope.

On this day, on this occasion, and for the moment leave your bf away.

You can get support when the day is over. You can seek his support when you go away again.

This is not the right time to introduce your bf to your mother. That's adding even more stress and as you have rightly assessed, this will be a stressful day for your mother already.

No matter how supportive your bf is for you and I'm glad he is, I'd imagine your mother would be very upset to meet somebody new amongst all of the other things she will be doing on that day.

That's my idea but if you really do want to find out what your mother believes about bring bf - ask her?
 
If you were miserable and distressed and stressed out... would you want to be forced to both be on your best behavior and able to use youre sharpest & kindest judgment?

Seems like rather than being there to support your mother, you’d just be making her life harder & more complicated.

Maybe not, maybe she’d enjoy having an important stranger to perform for... but if my son did that to me, brought a new girlfriend along when I was expected to be a wreck, I’d be heartbroken that he wanted to introduce me as a unreliable disgusting mess to someone important to him. I’d know he really hated me, to do something that deliberately cruel.
 
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